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Old 12-26-2007, 05:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
Progress Not Perfection

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Lightbulb ACA Bill of Rights

Taken from 12stepforums.net

Personal Bill of Rights
for Adult Children

1. I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn’t get.
2. I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now — not just a momentary rush of euphoria but something more substantive.
3. I have a right to relax and have fun in a nonalcoholic and nondestructive way.
4. I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
5. I have the right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
6. I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive “crazy-making” behavior of parents, of siblings, and of others.
7. I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies.
8. I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations.
9. I have a right to “mess up”; to make mistakes, to “blow it”, to disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
10. I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my alcoholic parent, my nonalcoholic parent, or any other member of my family.
11. I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
12. I have a right to all my feelings.
13. I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition.
14. I have a right to develop myself as a whole person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.
15. I have a right to express all my feelings in a nondestructive way and at a safe time and place.
16. I have a right to as much time as I need to experiment with this new information and these new ideas and to initiate changes in my life.
17. I have a right to sort out the bill of goods my parents sold me — to take the acceptable and dump the unacceptable.
18. I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence, though it will deviate in part, or all, from my parents' prescribed philosophy of life.
19. I have a right to carve out my place in this world.
20. I have a right to follow any of the above rights, to live my life the way I want to, and not wait until my alcoholic parent gets well, gets happy, seeks help, or admits there is a problem
Take what you like and leave the rest.

"I am only just returned to a sense of real wonder about me..."---George Eliot

"The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning." The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis

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Old 12-26-2007, 06:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
Starting over
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oooh I love it!! you guys think it should be a "sticky post" ?

Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings.
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Old 12-26-2007, 07:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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you guys think it should be a "sticky post" ?
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Old 12-26-2007, 08:15 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Uh-huh. Stick it Mike.
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Old 12-26-2007, 10:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Gets my vote!
"Tell me, what are you going to do with your one wild and precious life?" --Mary Oliver

"Action is the antidote to despair." --Joan Baez

"False hopes bind us to unlivable situations, and blind us to real possibilities." --Derrick Jensen
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Old 12-26-2007, 10:59 PM   #6 (permalink)
Power is not having to respond
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stickey vote here!
In fact, I am gonna print it out and leave it on my fridge for the next mom visit. I can look at it, and remind myself of these things!
In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down.
- Brian Weir
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Old 12-27-2007, 12:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
Starting over
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done stickied

Sunsets are not endings. If I have enough faith, they are beginnings.
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