Good Morning!
 

A nice crisp Fall morning for the start of my Day 5. I've had just a few weak or tempting moments this week; usually at times of anger or frustration. But I made it through them without drinking and am the better for it.

Thanks for all your greetings! All is well with me otherwise and hope it is for you too. Enjoying my son being home from overseas on leave!

Oh, Aussie! I'm so so so sorry! That's heartbreaking. This disease takes prisoners, dead and alive. This is real, and it's awful. Cry all you want at that funeral - that's okay. You're supposed to be sad. This sucks. Not feeling anything would be much worse than having a tender heart. The last thing this world needs is more hard-hearted people.

Lofty, great job! Keep it going! And thank you. :)

Day 7 complete. Why am I more tired sober than when drinking?! Just finished a study session with my son. We are both under the gun to get on track with our classes. It was our first of daily sessions on days we both have the time and are accountability partners. And we both got some studying and homework done. I like that.

But my brain has been foggy for the last two days. I dont like that. I was afraid I would drink tonight so I went to a SMART recovery meeting this afternoon. It helped. Just 4 of us, but good people and discussion.

Thanks for still being here, folks!

So tired! How much sleep is my body trying to catch up on! Day 8. Hope everyone has a great day!

you too Lofty :)
D

Much better day today. Much of the fog lifted and it was a productive day. Hope it stays that way!

Hope all are well.

Good job, Lofty! Keep up the good work!

Day 9 today. Yesterday was pretty productive. Sleep is more meaningful. I have some real opportunities and choices ahead of me; glad my head is clearing. You folks are my rock anchor in sobriety, despite the lack of chatter right now. I have to re-earn your trust, and I will. I get that I've been anything but stable in this journey on SR. But, I am back and plan to stay.

Now, let's enjoy our sober days!

This thread isn't as active as it used to be Lofty and hasn't been for a while - I'm sure noone here needs you to prove anything.

We just want the best for you :)

I am glad to see you posting in the October group :)

D

Thanks, Dee. And, I feel the support; wasnt trying to knock the thread. Just recalling my falls in and out of it, and If it were me, I'd be thinking, oh, it's Lofty again, he will be here for a few weeks and then skedaddle. And, rightfully so. I also dont want to trigger anyone else to justify or rationalize their own choices by my falls, when they happen. I think this time is a little different for me, though, as I have a counselor who is in recovery himself, and my eyes are seeing life a bit differently these days. Don't want time to keep slipping away, and would like to model a different lifestyle for my family. I also have the unwieldiness of my ADD under better control, which was often a factor in poor choices in the past.

Thanks for your comment. Upon re-reading my post, it does seem a little pathetic.

I think you're being too hard on yourself. Everyone here knows how it is :)

D

Maybe so. Sober thoughts tend to be sobering!😬

hi Lofty ! so glad to see you here. and Hello to everyone !.
Just got back and feeling great. My sister just left a couple of days ago and I've
been busy out of town for a couple days now also. Haven't been on SR so, getting caught up. It's funny I was only gone for a day or two and I missed everyone here on SR. just luv the support here and it has really kept me sober. I keep thinking how sick I got the last time I got sober and it makes me think clearly again. Anyway===Have a great day !
Hugs
Babs :dance:

Glad you are back and feeling great, Babs!

Hey gang! Dee's right, Lofty and we're all glad you're back, but more importantly, glad you're sober. I'm glad the counselor is helping and that you're feeling like this time is different. I'm sure that means something and I know you can beat this thing. It takes time, don't get discouraged. It won't always be difficult and so much work.

Youngest turned 15 yesterday and started driver's ed. What?! lol The oldest got the part of Joseph in the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Anyone know it? It's fun and crazy and colorful. He's knee deep in rehearsals, it opens in a month so we're busy with that. Husband and I participated in setting a Guinness World Record by being one of 1,201 couples who renewed their vows in a mass vow renewal record attempt. FUN! It was at my college alma mater on homecoming day so we did that and then went to the football game. Left the kiddos home alone for the first time. It all went great! I'm having a few friends over this weekend cuz the dh is going up north hunting. Gonna make scary halloween snacks and punch!

That's my update! I don't get on here a ton cuz I really don't have much to say except my every day stuff which is really pretty boring. I'll try to check in more often and offer better support. :) I need to remember how to post pictures, that would help jazz things up. lol
:Pumpkinshiny::SpiderHL::Ghost2::Bat09:

Day 10, thankfully. Stress of yesterday could've easily found me at the bottom of a bottle. I was tempted, but just kept busy with work and plowed through until I was tired enough to go to bed. Urges more than cravings. An emptiness inside that wanted to be filled with booze and the temporary escape it would bring. I did take a hot tub, which helped. Lots of quiet feelings inside are happening, which is driving DW nuts, but my thoughts are still ill-defined and not worth discussion yet. Lots going on in this little head of mine. Anyway, glad I made it through, and important, too, as I am working on one of the most important business initiatives in my recent career history. I can only exercise the wisdom, caution and discretion necessary to properly articulate and execute when I am sober. It's like a different, higher level of awareness, intuition, and reason is only available to me sans alcohol. That's what I need to always remain aware of and keep cognizant. If I truly want success, I must remain sober, not let hurdles cause me to retreat to old behaviors, and to be true to myself and others. Transparent honesty is a deep value to me, and when I dont honor it myself, it feeds the urge to escape reality. I also like it from others, but I dont control their walk. I do, however, ultimately choose with whom I will continue to walk.

Sorry about the crazy thoughts, just working out some of the ill-defined thoughts and feelings in my head.

Anyway, marching forth. Hope you make progress today as well!

hi Lofty and everyone ! the sun is shining and I'm going to go for a walk
and just be thankful for being sober and I'm going to think about all the good things that I have to be thankful for. I've been feeling a little like poor me lately and need a change of attitude. and only I can do that.
Hugs to you
Babs

Glad you're thinking a little on other healthy ways to deal with stress Lofty - that's been a real bugbear for you.

D

Hi everyone I am back , we had a lovely couple of days away , glad to be back in my own bed. Came home with 2 new pair of shoes and a blouse. Would have loved to go to the movies but nothing appealed to us. The break done us the world of good.

Lofty I am so proud of you DAY 10 you are doing great. :scoregood

Babs , :hug:

PBC Mirage and Dee :wavey:

Dave where are you?

Hi Babs..hope your walk helped! I need to walk more.

Hey Aus..glad you had a good trip! I haven't been to the movies lately either for the same reason. I want to see Girl on a Train, though. I read it and it was really good, the movie looks good, too! This time of year is the best for movies, the good ones will be coming out soon.

Welcome to day 11, Lofty. Hope it goes well for you. Last time you were here, you mentioned some pretty serious marriage struggles. How's that going for you now? Any better? Is she on board with your quitting this time? Hopefully you have support.

Just prepping for the party tonight. A couple moms and some of my kids' friends. I went to buy some orange lights for outside yesterday and Halloween decos are practically GONE and no lights. Wth?! It's still 2 weeks away! I hung the ghouls on the trees and put spider webs on my bushes yesterday. I have one bush lit, but I need MORE! lol I'm trying Hobby Lobby today.

Have a good one, folks! I'll tell you how the party goes and how the punch was! :Frankensteinbride::Ghost::asthanos::Frankenstein:

Wecome back, aussie! Glad you got some r&r.

Yes, babs, We were going through a real rough patch last time around. We started in on couples counseling, and one day I came upon a program online that changed my outlook, and it's been working since. Of course there will always be famiky issues of one sort or another, so I am content to mentor my kids when needed and to develop myself and my interests and perceive my marriage for the partnership that it is rather than wishing it was something else. All I can do is my part, right? Thanks for asking!

Day 11 has begun. Doing final preps for my clients and agents to have a successful 4th quarter, and studying forman upcoming exam. Having a cookout on Sundayfor my son home from overseas before his next military assignment. And enjoying the moderate climate.

Sobriety feels good. Brainwaves are still settling into place, but the body is relieved to be mending.

Have a great day and weekend, all!

Lofty, Dee is so right (of course). We get it. It takes what it takes, and we know that from firsthand experience. The only thing I think when I see you here is how much I'm pulling for you.

Aussie, I'm so happy to hear YOUR happy coming through! That's awesome.

Mirage, have you seen Sully yet? We're thinking of seeing it for date night tonight. Any thoughts? Tom Hanks rarely disappoints.

Hi Babs and Dee!

My best friend's daughter is going through some pretty serious health stuff ... stuff including excruciating pain and no answers. I am considering flying down to help out for a few days, if it would actually BE a help. That would not be possible, physically, mentally, or emotionally, if I weren't sober. So many others benefit from our sobriety.

Last night I ended up leading our Recovery Bible Study, too, on the fly. I am grateful for the ability to step in and facilitate something like that well. My job has taught me those skills. I was talking with a friend this morning, and I always tell her how AA has made me better at my job. She pointed out that, this time, my job helped me with AA. It's all holistic, isn't it? Everything affects everything.

All the ladies from our AA meeting are going out for lunch after the meeting today. It should be fun! :)

Thanks, PBC!

Hey, mirage, sorry I thought I was reading babs post when I responded. But, yes, things are better, mostly because I changed my responses and expectations. But, as we all know, relationships of any kind are a moving organism and all have their ups and downs. I am just not letting much get me negative anymore, as I can only really control me and my responses, right?

Day 11 is being a little bug in my butt. Irritable, grumpy and wanting to drink. Also tired since I tossed and turned all night. Trying to plow through. Would take a nap if I had the time. Ugh. Waiting for tomorrow to be a better day.

Good morning. Day 12. Yesterday was tough. I couldve crawled in bed at 6:30. But, I forgot my wife had tix to the comedy club. So we ate some dinner and went. Glad I did. Saw 3 great comics. Tha headliner, Jon Morgan, was as funny, spontaneous and original as Robin Williams. Great show. It was even better sober since the wit was so quick. Ive been to about 6 shows since the club opened about 3 miles from us, and this guy brought the house down more than any other. I told my wife my jaw was cramped from laughing so hard and she said thats what all the girls in the ladies room were saying after the show. This club also has sober shows for us in recovery every now and then, though Ive never been.

I was glad I went because I needed the laughs. And today is a new day.

Prayers for your friends daughter PBC.
Hope the party went well mirage :)

glad the day got better Lofty :)

Good to see you Babs and Aussie :) D

The comedy night sounds like so much fun, Lofty! I haven't been to one of those in too long. I need to go, too!

Mirage said we needed to post some pictures to liven things up, so here are a few from the fall fest we went to last night. There was a professional pumpkin carving thing going on (who knew that was a profession? Huh.) and it was super-cool!

And this.

I tried to post a couple more, but the system thought they were duplicates and wouldn't let me. Razzle frazzle.

hi everyone ~
PBC oh man, thanks for sharing. I loved those carvings. Gosh I can't even draw
a straight line little alone carve something so clever.
Babs