We'll be here for support Aussie - lets make this a dry summer :)

D

In more than one way! :c008:

Thanks, aussie. Lets be strong through the season together, huh? Holidays are hard for me to resist as well. I am sober today, with no plans to drink. In hindsight, it was a combo of exhaustion, embarrassment and despair that sent me in a tailspin and I got so pent up, I knew of no other source of relief. Going forward I will try to remain more aware and take action earlier, like working out or going for a walk or something. I've got a lot going on in my head right now and multiple high priorities. Not an excuse, but I need to be especially wary right now. Not feeling the most secure.

today when I was at AA an older gentleman said we have to keep our minds busy when the AV sneaks in and how true that is. I've had a couple of trying times today and I don't know why but, I did. They have passed now and I'm so grateful for those words.
Hugs to all of you. There were a couple of people that came up to me today with a hug and I really understand more and more how we are all in this together.
Babs

I think really recovery has to be the highest priority - it's like the axle on which the wheel with all the other priorities spin?

D

Its true, Dee. Without it, either the wheels dont travel smoothly, or they fall off the bus!

Day 2

And don't forget to play that tape to the end, Lofty. Put yourself at the day after. Remember how pissed you'll be at yourself, how disappointed. How your goal is now further away than it was just a day before. Remind yourself that while extremely difficult for awhile, the end goal is vital to living a life that's happier and to get to that goal, we have to get through the uncomfortable. The struggling will stop, it won't last forever. But you have to get through the hard parts, those times when you just feel like screaming and crying because you can't rely on that crutch you've had for 35 years. We only get one shot at this life thing. Don't waste it struggling. You'll feel the freedom, it just takes awhile. :)

We're here for you, Aussie! Stupid summer! :hug:

I'm glad you got through those trying times, Babs. Hugs are gooooood. ;) Hope today is less trying!

thanks ---Yes, today is sooo much better. I just know I can't go back --I know it is going to bring me back down to the bottom and I will just have to start over again. thanks for the support.
Babs

Believe me, none of us are immune to thoughts of drinking again. I can dismiss it pretty quickly now without too much thinking on it, but it does creep in there. It does suck sometimes. It's what I did a lot of for 30 years, in good times and in bad. It's bound to rear it's head and say, 'what about me? Don't forget about ME'.

Leaves are changing and beautiful, there's a chill in the air. Ahhhh fall. Going to the high school football game tonight and maybe a movie tomorrow. Meeting some friends for breakfast this morning.

Hope my Marchers are doing well today!
:FallB16: :Fall14: :Pumpkinshiny:

Enjoy Mirage ! I'm doing well. Looking forward to a nice week-end.
Babs

I'm so sorry about what you've gone through, Lofty. What I learned about my own sobriety was that I need to stay transparent with my sober support group. Completely transparent. A phrase that I learned is "your secrets keep you sick". And, in early sobriety I attended a service where a speaker talked about what exactly chemical dependency is. He said that the chemical is a mood altering thing, which leads to a logical conclusion that I really need to be super-cognizant of my moods. Any variance in any way is a TRIGGER! It could be fear, anxiety, stress, tiredness, celebration, embarrassment, conflict, joy, ANYTHING.

And, I learned that if I wait to reach out until I want to drink, I WON'T reach out. By that time, I want to drink and I don't want anyone to talk me out of it.

I needed to reach out every single time my mood was anything other than completely peaceful. And I did. I called my friends and said things like, "Don't worry, I'm not ready to drink, but this is going on and I know that could LEAD to me wanting to drink." There was something incredibly freeing about keeping everything out there in the open, and I was able to get through those really hard first months.

Based upon this experience in my own life, plus a bajillion others, plus watching tens of thousands of others through my job and through ministry efforts, I've decided that humans thrive in community. Honest, open, vulnerable, authentic community. Anytime I say to myself, "I don't want anyone to know that", it's a sign that it's not a good idea. Anytime I let others (who I trust) in on what's going on in my heart, I make choices that lead to more positive consequences.

Hope you're doing alright, Lofty!

How's that weather treating you, Aussie?

Have a great day, Marchers! :You_Rock_

Mirage, the weather is beautiful here at the moment, cool nights and around 22 degrees c. through the day, we are set to warm up later this week with a storm on Friday , we haven't had any rain for ages , my lawn is crisp and sand , so we need the rain, if only it could come without lightening and thunder.
All is good in Aussie land.

Love to all.:grouphug:

Great news, Aussie! I love it when all is well in Aussieland! Muah! :ValD014:

hi guys ! things are going good here too.
I'm meeting a girl friend for coffee this morning. I haven't seen her
in a long time and really looking forward to it.
Have a good day everyone.
I didn't sleep all that well last night and you know how it is ----I think I solved everyone's problems and looking forward to a good nights sleep tonight.
Babs

Have a great coffee date, Babs! Sorry you didn't sleep well, that can really make a day rough. Hope tonight's better!

We have a choir concert tonight and I'm taking tickets at the door. Working as a hall monitor at a middle school for the rest of the week. Should be interesting! :dee

I had to do it ...

Hee hee!

ha ha ---I've never done that. Oh for fun, I would probably get
into trouble myself.
Babs

Mirage I thought you had pink hair.:lmao

Talking about coffee , our little village is all grown up with a coffee shop opened this week , I can now go out for a sit down coffee with super rich cake or slices. I may never drink instant again.

Lofty how are you doing , drinking or sober please check in.

Have a great day my friends.

I love coffee too Aussie !
I'm excited we are getting a new kitchen table and chairs delivered today and getting rid of the old set. It's always fun to get something new.
Have a good day everyone !
Babs

A coffee shop is good news! A place to be social with no booze is always good news. :)

The hall monitor/locker room gig is fine/boring. Loooong days. The good news is, there is a framed picture of all of the presidents in the hallway and I've been studying them the last 2 days, so I know all the presidents in order. (44 of them). Challenging, but fun. I need to keep practicing so I don't forget them.

One more day of work, and then on Saturday, I'm helping serve lunch to the cast and crew of the musical. We make them a hot lunch and serve it buffet style, as they are at rehearsal from 10:00am-6:pm. I will miss a big football game on tv, but this is a lot of fun to see them all and I get to sneak in to watch them rehearse. :) Have a good one, all!

I love getting new things too Babs, I would love a new lounge room suit , our recliners are old and shabby but my husband loves his and won't give it up. I love strolling around furniture stores , well any store really.

Mirage have fun at the musical!!!

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Have a great week-end you guys !
Babs

Thanks for the love, folks. Another day 1 today. I think I may try an AA meeting tonight. I also have to accept my failures. Kissing my scholarship goodbye, and it is only my own fault. Feeling pretty lonely and depressed right now. Sorry to say.

Ohhh (((Lofty))) I feel bad. But very happy to see you back.
Babs

I'm sorry to hear that Lofty.

Without, I hope, rubbing salt into the wound, I agree its time to stop digging that hole, man.

I got to a point I found myself losing more and more things I held dear.
However hard it is to stay sober, it's going to get a lot harder to stay drunk, I think.

D

I'm glad you're back, Lofty. Let us know how your meeting goes, okay?

I'm all about the coffee, Aussie! YUM!

My 16 year old had a Halloween party last night ... I'm so glad she's got a few friends now. She's struggled so much for so long. These seemed like really nice kids, too. Here's hoping it's the beginning of something good for her!

The meeting was good. It was the only one I enjoyed in the past. Big Book meeting. Tonight was the 15th & 16th anniversary of the meeting, so the AA group was joined by the AlAnon group that meets at the same time. We read Chapter 9 "The Family Afterward" and it struck a cord for me. Only one person was there that I knew from before, and we sat next to each other.