Well, meet another SR junkie! I love this site. Everyone is so interesting and have their own stories to tell. Yes, I've been baking bread. It's my new hobby. And one that is turning out well for me. Who knew I could bake bread? I sure didn't! It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment. I have been plagued with a lot of nervous energy since being off Vicodin for 4 months. Restless energy is my new challenge I'm finding. And kind of difficult. I've been baking a lot. And enjoying it so much. I've been baking artisan loaves. Next I'm going to try some cinnamon raisin and herb breads. Fun!

Today we are having wonderful weather so I'm going to take my horse out for a ride in the woods. I feel pretty well today.

I admire you. You must have a special gift--whenever I try to bake bread it turns out like a flat rock. I have tried every handy hint in the world to get it to rise--thermometers, different kinds of yeast, etc. Always like a rock!

I have no secrets. It just works for me, somehow!

It's a divine gift!

Hi Undies,

It's 369 days no cigarettes, 271 no alcohol and 170 no weed!!

Recently my life has been kind of shaken up. I feel like I'd crawled inside my little turtle shell for the last 8 and a half (almost 9 now) months and was just focused on recovery. Now, life is intruding.

Things are a bit complicated. I haven't really opened up about this before. A friend that had quit talking to me right before I quit drinking has recently re-entered my life. We have a strong connection and there are a lot of more-than-friend type feelings. On the one hand, I'm just really happy to have this person back in my life. On the other hand, I'm in a relationship with somebody else and feeling very confused about everything. Although as most of you know, my relationship with my current bf has been rocky for sometime.

So, a lot to think about for me. My head is spinning.

When I was drinking, I definitely handled my relationships pretty badly and was a bit of a cheater at times. I know I don't want to be like that in recovery. I feel guilty for my contact with the guy I really like, but I really like him, I don't want to cut contact. It was extremely difficult for me when he quit talking to me before and I missed him more than I can put into words.

I feel really off-balance. I need some advice or a reality check or something.

Hi undies,

I'm glad I happened to pop in just now, to read about Elseware baking bread for one thing! Can there be anything more sober and wholesome than fresh-baked bread?

DG, it seems like you've been avoiding dealing with your unhappiness with your current bf for some time. I recommend you address that with him first, soon, and before you go any farther into a possible relationship with this other person. Romance is a wonderful thing when it's real & good, but can be toxic when it's underhanded. if romance is going to happen for you, allow yourself to find it in an honest, straightforward way. (( ))

Welcome arctic!

Elsewere enjoy the baking! Anything preparing food related I have no skills what so ever.

MB sounds like you're moving in the right direction and things are slowly coming together now for you!

Home from work and watching pitbulls and parolees. I love this show and have met Tia and her fam in the past and they are such a kind family. I haven't had any drinking cravings since my lil slip which is nice. I've been writing a lot in my journal and just focusing on staying on the sober path!
Thinking of maybe going on a hike tomorrow with my dog.

Hope everyone is doing ok and enjoying the weekend.

Welcome "Arctic" in two ways...one to SR and one to the snow and coldest temps in years here. Doesn't bother me, it does that here now and then.

I can cook almost anything, but bread and baking in general seem to be beyond my grasp.

Not much new, heading towards 9 months on Monday.

DG, I agree with courage, I believe that you know what ought to be done regarding your current relationship, you need to be honest with yourself. Do you see yourself with current bf next year? In five years? Married? Children? Mortgage? Do you believe he will mature?
I guess these are things that you know you need to be addressing this year. As for the friend, what are his feelings? Does he see you just as a friend?
The fact you are asking advice leads me to believe you already know what you ought to do, which may not be what you want to do

DG, I think Toots makes valid points. You know you don't want to be a cheater--treat others as you would want to be treated. Look at the character of the two guys. Don't enter into a long-term relationship with someone who treats you badly.

Drake, 9 months is very exciting! Congratulations!

Some good advice here DG. I can't better it :)

D

((DG)), I really don't think there is any magic to waiting one year to address current bf deal as you have discussed in past. You are so grounded in your recovery work and that will lead you on the path to do the NEXT RIGHT THING...just follow the road.

It may not be easy, you may end up surprised when you open things up...but for sure, you will be FREE to pursue your heart without remorse no matter how things turn out.

My best in this aspect of your recovery path my dear. xx

btw...I could read the EXACT nature of your dilemma from that initial cryptic limerick. Look how far your thinking has come in just that short time.

Oh, hi all. Vaca is back on track. Had a fun time with my sister in Florida. Off to St Croix tomorrow. Passed 7 months on 3rd. Have had some incredable visitor AA meeting experiences. Will share some when I am finally on full-island-relax mode.

Carlos xx

DG. If you are hoping for change in yor life, sometimes you have to "make room" for it to happen. You might need to spend some time on your own with an empty space and see what (or who) shows up. You may find something totally unexpected. Think HARD about what you want. Be specific. Then make sure there is space in your life for that to come about. As the saying goes, nature abhors a vacuum.

Carlos congrats on the 7 months!!!
And enjoy the vacay!

Just got home from going on a nice little hike with my dog this morning. I really enjoyed the fresh air and birds ect.
My sis is having her bf over for dinner so I think I will be reading my new books in my room that just came the other day.

Hope all you undies have a good day

Congrats on 7 mos Carlos! Enjoy the vacation!! :c011:

Carlos many congrats on 7 months....Fantastic achievement dude.

Hi Undies, Day 286. Just had a nice walk with the dog. Went to a meeting today. My sponsor is on vacation, and I need to be reading the Big Book. It seems that I'm starting to get over some regrets, and move ahead.

Matthew

OMG! What a cute dog!

Carrrlooos! I wrote a poem for you.......

Thank you all for your responses. I knew I could count on you guys and gals!!

One good thing is that this guy I really like lives far away, so at least that kind of puts a damper on things for now. I won't be going out to visit until/unless I leave my current bf first.


Toots, I really don't want to be with my current bf long term. I don't think I could make the commitment of marrying him and I feel like we've been together for long enough I should be know him well enough to be willing to make the 'next step' or to know that I don't want to. The idea of children freaks me out because that would tie us together forever. And mortgage... bf doesn't even help pay the electric bill!

As to the guy I really like, he definitely sees me as more than a friend. That was why he stopped talking to me to start with. I think he likes me, A LOT.

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one: "The fact you are asking advice leads me to believe you already know what you ought to do, which may not be what you want to do"



Carlos, After that limerick, I DID tell the guy I didn't think it was a good idea for us to keep talking much... and then I totally caved after that and have kept talking to him. :/


Regardless of this guy I like, I know things with bf haven't been well for quite some time. I'm trying to make my decisions about that based on how things are with my current bf and not let things with my crush factor in to it too much. But I'm really not happy in my current relationship. Bf and I are not physically close, communication sucks, and I resent the fact that he still smokes a lot of pot. I don't think he's good for my recovery. And this isn't something I want for myself long term. I want a clean and sober partner that I can be intimate with- physically and emotionally.

I guess I know it's time for some tough conversations and decisions. The only thing I'm not sure about is timing. Seems like there is never a good time for breaking up with someone.

I know on the sobriety side of things, I need to hang close and try to keep to my routines.