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SJ, I'm sorry to hear of your slip, but glad you came right back. You have time to work out what you need to do next time to avoid the 90 day fall. Thanks folks for organising the snow and sub zero temperatures ready to greet me, but really you should not have bothered. No, honestly! You reeeeaaaallllyy shouldn't have bothered!!!!! Yeesh! Why didn't I wait for the summer to move! :winter6 Someone turn the heating up! :winter9 |
Toots, we were posting at the same time. I'm so glad they are keeping the cold and snow over the other side of the pond for you, lol. Gxx |
Grace...nice to see your posts....I think we all missed you!. Toots...fun..isn't it....WELCOME...we are getting 30cm of snow tonight 60+km/hr winds (most likely no power) and -17c.... thank you Babs...DG...it is certainly hard to post here about slipping...part of you just wants to go away rather than admit the failure...but that would not be helping matters... |
SJ--you've got the 3 month bug and I seem to have the 5 month bug. I think this time is going to be different, though. Keep posting whenever you even feel the least bit tempted, and read the Newcomers' threads--they'll give you pause. I know when I'm not surrounded by support I do tend to drift into thinking I'm not that bad with alcohol. But I was worse at the end than I was two years ago, and i was worse two years ago than I was ten years ago. It's progressive. The more you give it, the more it takes. I'm glad you stopped so quickly and got back on the wagon. We're getting lots of snow today, too (lots for us, anyway--5-8")--and temperatures tomorrow down to 3 F (very brisk for the American south). I hope my connection to SR stays up so I won't have to go out to McD's tomorrow! |
Thanks Gilmer....good advice..I will say that the experience proved to be anything but enjoyable....I am very much looking forward to going home this evening....putting on a nice fire and relaxing... |
Hi all, Just checking in. Today and yesterday have been exhausting but a lot of progress. Soberjim, I'm glad you're here. Here's better than out there, right? Right! Will write more tonight. Meanwhile, :tyou |
I did something very difficult today. There has been something upsetting me for a long time, but I didn't want to upset the applecart. For years I have liked to take pride in how inordinately generous I am, but some things are just plain wrong. Today I quietly suggested reform, and my suggestion was met calmly and accepted with no problem. All my worry and dread for nothing! Through the years I have often felt that I needed to measure up in some way--any way--so that I would not be thrown out into the street. I know that things have changed for the better since the early days of my marriage, but I still have had low self-worth. I know intellectually that I am "worth more than many sparrows" in God's eyes, but that knowledge hasn't translated to my everyday consciousness. But SR has really helped. You guys encouraged me significantly back at Thanksgiving when I had my meltdown, and made me feel that I had a right to exist and thrive simply because I'm a human being, and not because I jump through certain hoops. There are some hoops I've jumped through all my life because it was all I knew how to do. They're unhealthy hoops. I don't want to view myself that way anymore. That's perfectly OK, and the way it should be. I should do my best because it is right, not to slavishly try to impress anybody. What is "right," anyway, is not the convoluted stuff I was trying to accomplish. "Right" is a simple thing. Live justly. I'm not being militant--I feel very quiet. Thank you to everybody on this thread for helping me and accepting me as i am. |
Believing in your own worth is not militant Gilmer, it is something we ought all feel, but too many are here because at some point they have been made to feel less than they are. I'm glad you are taking steps towards asserting your worth. Grace! They are all making it snow on me over there! I'm going to freeze me bits off!! So much for a nice warm American welcome!! :react I'm going to need Molly after all!! :abcq: :accb: :abcp: SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!!!!!! |
Hi everyone!! I've had a really busy day - work in the morning and then housework all afternoon.. all good and normal stuff :) Thanks to everyone for posting - it's good for me to read about everyone's ups and downs. I have no words of wisdom or advice but my thoughts are with you all. Well, one last cup of tea and then off to bed for me (pretend there is a smiley here of a non-sick person asleep in bed - couldn't fine one!! lol). |
:inbed feeling good!! Xx |
Lots of catch up to do! Glad to see the world is right again now that Grace has returned! Congrats on 300 Matthew and 3 weeks BF!:c011 Gilmer, keep taking those steps, it is so important. I have rarely believed in myself and always worried about being "thrown out into the street". Sobriety and a clear mind sure help. Hang in there Jim... and all you snow people be careful. No snow here in the Midwest (at least my part) but it is sure cold. Olive has declared it too cold to walk (so have I) :grouphug: To my Undies! |
Thank you, Drake. :) |
Toots, you must be travelling! If not, then I wish you safe travel. Grace, so nice to hear from you. Drake is right, now things are back to normal. ;) SJ, sorry to hear you're having a hard time past 3 months. I used to take these breaks that would last 3 months every year, so this year, it was hard to go beyond that. All these breaks do pay off so don't dismiss any sobriety times. Have a good evening everyone. DP |
Toots, thanks for all your kindness this last weekend! I hope you travel safe and sound and find your new abode welcoming and warm. ( And not too strange!) |
Hi Undies! :wave: Carlos, I’m glad you’re getting good support on St. Thomas and it’s not just an escape, it’s a place to continue to work through things & grow. Dorothy, how did the information session go? Any promising collaborators? Gilmer, I didn’t realize you were doing a formal class in Hebrew. It seems like a very challenging language. I’m also glad to read about you standing up for yourself. You’re a very decent person, worthy of respect and consideration. Tanja, thanks for the great & supportive post. I hope you’re feeling better. Ipanema, thanks. Your example is very moving. I’m very interested in learning ways to be more useful to others, whether they are alcoholics or not. Soberjim, I’m sorry to hear that you drank. I think “baffling” is the operative word when it comes to the alcoholism. You just can’t figure it out. Reasoning doesn’t work – it works against you, in fact. The only thing you can do is not drink. And every day you don’t drink is better than any day that you do. I don’t think there’s any shame in admitting whatever you feel like you want to post about – this is a recovery support forum, after all, and if you don’t use this forum honestly, what good can it do you? ((( ))) DG, I know what you mean about having trouble working. It’s still sometimes very hard for me – the best I can say, is that I’m making more sensible decisions about how to choose what work to focus on, given that I’ve had to admit that I can’t get accomplished as much as I think I should. Grace, so glad to see you posting again! Don’t get caught, tho! ;) Elseware, I hope you’re doing better. Take care and stay close if you need us! Toots, so sorry you don’t like our weather on the east coast of the US. We thought everyone likes a blizzard, polar temps & ice! Feelinggood & Drake, it’s good to see your posts. Just one more word from me (for now LOL I won’t promise for ever) on the whole relapse thing – for me, relapsing was just a f*** you to living. It was not a slip, since it was rather elaborately planned. The question of value is like an equation that I just can’t solve. Sometimes I don’t need to, but sometimes I get stuck on it and it makes my head hurt. I'm actively working on this in several ways. Will keep you all posted on my progress -- whether you like it or not :) |
Thanks, Gilmer, I will! |
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