Oh I see. I must be a mega alkie cause I would panic that I didn't have at least a bottle, I would't even bother with a carton that size. OMG how bad is that?

Pixy, how's the pony?

Another alkie logic point about the milkcartons... I can throw them away and I don't have to put them in my glass recycling, so the neighbors don't see so many bottles out by the curb. Sad.

So far I've resisted today... just drinking coffee.

Least the Pony is doing just great thank you. She is really used to us now and always happy to see us. The weather has been so bad so not been on her too much.

CG thinking of you, hope the rest of your day goes well.

Off to bed now, night all x

Brilliant! I have that clause too! Let's delete it! Don't drink today even if your a$$ falls off (advice from an AA meeting, lol)

Hey pixy, I never bought boxes either coz I knew I would drink them all.

Buying cartons is like those teeny little bottles we get here I guess. I have bought them in a sad attempt to control my drinking.

Yup, I'm deleting that clause. Not sure how it will work when I get to that point again, but we'll see!

Goodnight to all you Englanders! Hope you sleep well.

I dont know if its a financial thing but Ive always bought my alcohol in the largest size available, Ive never set out to get a bit tipsy, my goal has always been oblivion so I used to like to make sure I had enough to get the job done properly, plus a bit left over for those nasty waking up in the middle of the night moments! As for extraordinary situations, its always been my way to choose my own, kind of a never ever do that unless you really want to thing. I also need to get rid of that side of my personality because it only leads to disaster when you let your desires rule your life. x

Got to be honest with you i'm really struggling at the moment. This weekend has been terrible. I've had horrible cravings and have drunk a couple of times.
I feel awful now...

Its becoming painfully clear to me that I can't do this like this

I'm gonna need to go to meetings I think but it scares the hell out of me, no idea why.

I stopped doing coke on Jan 2nd this year and haven't touched it since, I think part of me was thinking of stopping the booze on Jan 2nd next year but I can't wait that long. Regardless if its coming up the Christmas or not I need to take control here.

Rubbish start to a Monday morning....

Mate, don't forget how far you have come. At least you acknowledge there's a problem that need seeing to. It took me years to get there. In itself that's a huge leap (was for me anyway).

Other thing is that you have come to the right place. Could you imagine tapping away on these forums a year ago? I couldn't, would have laughed it off.

Ok, slipped again but please try not to dismiss the progress you've made so far, it's by no means insignificant. It's monumental.

Thanks mate, I do understand how far i've come and i guess thats what annoys me that i've come this far and yet still keep falling. I know i'm in the right direction i just need to find a way to make it stick.

Plus i can now post images so I'm obviously making progress!!!!

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/r...le/Cocaine.jpg

OK, I love the cocaine poster.

Hang in there Wibble! We can do this together. I've never done meetings either but am also thinking about it.

Made it through day 1 yesterday. Slept terribly so am up at the crack of dawn for an early arrival at work. Hopefully it means I can leave early too!

I am going to take this day in portions. I'll be fine while I'm at work, then I need to get home and reassess the situation. Goal for the day: don't act too quickly on feelings, think it through a bit.

OK, good day to everyone! :ghug

Thanks CG, I don't think i ever realised what a struggle this was going to be.

I've come clean and admitted to my wife that I need to start going to meetings, I think she's known it for a long time.....

Find a meeting, drive to it, park the car, and walk through the doors. You may like it, you may not, but I guarantee you will get out alive!! The rest will take care of itself.

I actually know someone who used to give his hamster a bit of speed and then put it in one of those exercise balls! And someone in our AA meetings turned their cat into an alcoholic - put drink in it's milk. I would never have wasted good drink on my pets!

I need meetings as part of my recovery kit....I really hope you find one you like to get support!

:Val004:

I think i've realised I need something else as well. My will power just crumbles after a few days. I have to make this stick...

Been looking at where my local meetings are, I know i'll be ok for the next few days but i need something in place before the end of the week

You can't give booze to cats!!!!!! Although with it coming in milk cartons its an easy mistake to make!!!!!!

hahahaha

Think they call it Moo-nshine.

how did you post at 3:42...i thought it was down!!!