Class of November
 

Back on day 1 :skillet

I just dont want to feel like this any more. I feel like I will die if I pick up just one more drink. I hate what I have become.

I'm going to need all the help I can get :praying

well, ya got'a start somewhere pix...

day ones a great start...

good wishes

Judy thak you :ghug3

Hey Pix - welcome back. How's the pony?

You can do this Pixie -break 24 hours down into an hour at a time if that's what it takes to NOT pick up the first drink. :hug:

Hi Pixy,
I couldn't have said it better myself! I'm going to send you a PM.

:ghug3

Good to know you are still trying....:hug:

Please go and read this...it's from the book
that convinced me to quit.
Specifically the information about my brain and liver
enzymes incorrectly processing alcohol.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

You need not die from unchecked alcoholism
Living sober is possible for you too.

Well I have got to the end of the day. I'm not going to think of tomorrow, only now.

LB coco is doing great, she is used to us now and we have hours of endless fun as a family at the stables (the dark nights are a pain though)

Colagirl it's good to see you back too :ghug

Carol thank you, I have actually ordered the book "Under the influence" I'm waiting for it to arrive. In the mean time I will read the other three I ordered ages ago but have been too drunk to read.

Good for you, Pixy!

Keep reading and posting. There's lots of support here.

I have 716 days, as of today, but I really only have one day, as of today. And that's all I really ever have.

whenever you think of picking up a drink think of the desperation you felt the moment you knew you couldnt take it anymore. Its very important to remember the moments that we reached out for freedom from the bottle. That will help remind you why you dont want to reach back into the chains.

One day at a time.

Never give up. Never! I once felt hopeless, didn't want to live like that anymore. And now I don't. I was a chronic relapser, read my old posts. I made it and so can you!

Make this your last time, your last day one.

:ghug3


tink, love your avatar!!

Good to see you are back. We can all make it. Good Luck!!!!!

Pixy I drank heavily for over 25 yrs. and here I am, 9 mos. sober. Maybe you're ready this time. I wasn't ready all the other 30 or so times I tried to get it right! I am finally at peace, because I know I can't touch it ever again. There should've been no doubt in the past, but for some reason I kept insisting I could control it. All the trouble I went to trying to moderate was driving me insane. Now I look back and don't understand why I convinced myself I needed it so badly to live. You'll be so much happier when you've broken free of the chains for good. A whole new life waits for you.

There are some great thoughts on this thread.

Judy - good to see you, it's been awhile. I've been thinking lately about something you said awhile ago... "put on your big girl panties and deal with it!" That is some good advice for living life on life's terms, and something I need to apply STAT!

Pixy,

You never have to feel like this again.

Don't give up.... you can have a life of freedom from alcohol.

Thank you all :Val004:


Day 2, Not going to think about tomorrow.

Count me in. Day 1.

newleaf and pixy...I'm glad you are posting your commitment and keep reaching out for help!

I think people who make it through day 1, day 2, day 3.....are the most amazing miricles in the world!!!!! :ghug

Newleaf, we are in this together :ghug

ananda yes the first few days are really hard. Day one and three is always the hardest for me.

Thanks for the hugs, Pixy1. Could use them!

I've been down this road too many times, unfortunately. Well -- I guess fortunately... depending on how you look at it. At least I keep heading there.

Glad to be back and GLAD YOU'RE HERE, too!!! :-)

good to see you NL :)

Welcome back!
:hug:
D

I'm like a bad cold... Tough to get rid of, I guess. lol

This is hard!! It's so easy to pick up and block out this feeling with a bottle of wine.
I'm not going to though, it cant be as bad as I would feel waking up during the night not being able to sleep, trying to remember the evening, the paranoia, sweats, shakes, dry mouth, and self hate.

So I'm going to stick around here and read a little more, I may even have an early night, not had one of those in a long time, well not a sober one.

Hi Pix and Newleaf,

I just don't know what to say. Today is my 47th birthday. I got into a big fight with my husband last night over something really stupid. I could not sleep at all. I moved to the couch. He talked me into getting back in bed with him and just hugged me. My heart was beating so hard I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I woke up this morning and decided the best thing I could do was have a glass of wine to slow my heart down....duh...I have been drinking ever since. Is this the way to have a birthday? Is this all I have left? I was so happy without it. I don't understand my mind? Where am I going? I am so upset. I just want to roll under the bed and stay there for a week.

P.S. I bought the book "Under the Influence" online and it said the shipping date was Oct. 30 or 31st but when I looked today it said the delivery date was Nov. 5 - 28th! WTF? I think I just want the book to get me off my little binge, but why is that an excuse? Oh, I just will drink until I get the book. Sounds so silly to me...but I guess its just that alcoholic mind speaking up once again.:dig

PIxy -- HANG IN THERE!

Thought I'd check in really quickly before I head out to pick up our car (inpection) so I can cart all the kids around...

Day 2 for me, so I know I'll be struggling when I get home. Let's get through this together! I'll get on again in about 2 hours, ok?

hey Eclipse
Happy Birthday for a start!!

and yeah - it is your alcoholic mind talking - you know what drinking does...it makes no sense to do that to yourself until the book arrives...that's not logical. It's a good book, and I think you'll enjoy it, but it's not magic - in the end you'll just have to 'step away from the bottle' anyway - so may as well do that now :)

And as for the heartrate thing - if that really was your motivation, one glass would do the trick, right? (it's not effective anyway sorry to tell ya ;))

Birthdays are special - you should remember this one. Put the bottle down and do something for yourself - something that won't make you sick and that you'll regret tomorrow....and probably start all over again tomorrow cos you feel so bad.

Stop the treadmill now Eclipse :)

D

It IS, Eclipse! Try not to listen. You can read excerpts online here if you want I think. I'll try to find the link as soon as I can get back on when I get back home... Have to run like -- um -- 10 mins ago.. Oops!

PLEASE think about putting the wine down now so you're not feeling ABSOLUTELY miserable tomorrow -- physically that is. If you're like me, you'll already be beating yourself up mentally/emotionally.

Know you have friends here. Let's work together and make this year -- your 48th the BEST.

I'll check in AS SOON as I get back in with you and Pixie1!