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-   -   Here we go...again. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/marijuana-addiction/408289-here-we-go-again.html)

lynnmarie123 12-12-2017 09:43 AM

Thanks everyone! I'm determined to stick with it this. Daily visits to SR has been such a blessing and I give complete credit to this site.
I have to admit this time of year is so tempting.
I'm hosting a party on Christmas Eve. I know every single guest will imbibe in some sort of intoxicant. It would be so easy to just give in and partake.
But the very next day will mark 6 months for me and I just don't want to blow it.
I will stay the course and rack up more time and that's the greatest gift I can give myself.
Cheers!

Dee74 12-12-2017 04:58 PM

You will do this lynnmarie :)

D

lynnmarie123 12-14-2017 09:07 AM

I hope my posts don't come across as bragging. That is not my intention.
I just find it helpful to post my thoughts and actions regarding pot.
And I had another event yesterday.
I was shopping with my sister (medical user) and she offered me a bud. I declined.
She then told me she would gift me a bud for Christmas (she thinks I quit for money reasons) which I then also declined.
She asked me if I was ever going to smoke again and I said, "No, I am an addict. If I smoke again, I'll just want more and then it turns into all day, everyday."
I've never spoken those words to anyone before. I've never used the word 'addict' except for here. I think it firmed up my resolve.
I'm gonna make it.

Dee74 12-15-2017 04:32 PM

No, you're not boasting - you're providing hope to others that it can be done :)
:You_Rock_
D

lynnmarie123 12-23-2017 08:32 PM

And yet another event today. Must be the season.
Chatted with a friend on the phone, wishing him a merry Christmas. He and his wife are very good friends and in the past I had them over for dinner at least twice a year. These events were filled with drinking and toking, but of course, no one could keep up with me.
For the last 2 + years, I have not had them over. I just couldn't face dealing with the sobriety issue, my avoidance of intoxicants and needing to explain it.
He said we need to get together to smoke a joint to celebrate the holidays. Without hesitation or even thinking about it, I said I'm not doing that any more, that I have quit. He was surprised but said, Good for you! And then he wanted to know why. And again without hesitation or sidestepping, I told him that I was smoking too much and needed to quit.
I'm finding the best thing I can do is be honest.
I'm also finding the more I come clean to people, the stronger my resolve is getting.
I really thought by this time, a couple days before Christmas, I'd be craving badly and that I would give in for sure.
So far so good.
Wishing you all a sober season.

Dee74 12-23-2017 09:29 PM

Hi lynnmarie :)

yeah I was honest with my smoking mates. Thwy knew me pretty well anyway.
I had a lot of support from most in quitting weed.

Happy Holidays and congrats to you :)

D

lynnmarie123 02-21-2018 04:46 PM

Just had to chuckle.
My sister called and told me that the Feds have shut down the medical marijuana dispensary that she buys from (and from which I would buy off of her). She's distressed having to buy black market again, but didn't know what else to do. I said how about quitting? Not well received.
It is so nice not to care about this subject at all. In fact, it's good news for me as I won't have to drive her there any more (4 hour round trip).
I hung up the phone and laughed and said Don't care!
How lovely to have the monkey gone.

lynnmarie123 02-25-2018 11:49 AM

8 months today.
It's the longest I've gone without since I was a teen.
How I feel about myself is night to day. From despair and loathing to pride of accomplishment.
As time continues to mount, so does my determination to remain sober.
8 months is huge and I will protect that accomplishment. Another thing keeping me sober is the fact that if I ever smoke again, I would be right back where I started from.
Have I thought about it? Sure, I get the occasional whisper of "oh, just this one time", but I know it will not stay with just one time.
I like where I am today compared to 1 year ago.
My health has improved and my bank balance has grown. But best of all is I have stopped hating myself.
So whenever the thought of using creeps up, I think of all these things and how far I have come.
It was worth the struggle. So worth it.
The inner battle is gone and that makes life so much easier.
I hope everyone can find the peace that sobriety brings.

FlyingDutchMan 02-26-2018 12:21 AM

That's really good to read, big congratulations on 8 months. That's inspirational to me. I'll promise to tell you how I feel when I get to that point (I'm at 7 weeks as of today and feeling not too great).

Dee74 02-26-2018 01:21 AM

congrats lynnmarie :)

hang in there FDM :)

D

lynnmarie123 02-26-2018 01:12 PM

Thanks you two!
FDM, just hang in there. There is no situation in this world where smoking will make it better. The illusion that pot will improve our mental state stays with us a long time, I think.
I hope things improve for you soon!

FlyingDutchMan 02-26-2018 01:48 PM

Thanks lynnmarie and Dee, your support really means a lot to me.

Codimum 02-26-2018 01:59 PM

Just think if you can get through these next few weeks you can get through anything.... what an achievement it will be and how good will you feel! Thatís the prize for your endurance when the going gets tough!

Keep it up!

lynnmarie123 03-25-2018 11:01 AM

9 months....3/4 of a year.
Yep, still counting the months. Probably will until the 1 year mark.
I know that will subside and I won't pay as much attention to the date.
I did that with alcohol up until 2 years. (let's see...2 years and 4 months now) Counted every month and celebrated each victory.
But then it gets silly (my baby is 26 months old) and you stop.
Now the 4th of the month goes by and I don't even acknowledge it, let alone celebrate it and so it will be with pot too, eventually.
I hate self praise, but I do give myself a small pat on the back on the 25th of each month.
Hoping you all have success in your sobriety.
It's a wonderful thing.

Pacoloco 03-25-2018 02:55 PM

Congrats! :You_Rock_

Dee74 03-25-2018 05:50 PM

Congrats on 9 months lynnmarie :)
D

FlyingDutchMan 03-27-2018 01:39 AM

Nine months, wow. Congratulations. You really left it all behind you and that's something to be immensely proud of. Thanks for sharing your experiences and also for all the support you have provided. It's very inspirational.

lynnmarie123 06-25-2018 10:28 AM

1 year today.
Wow. Never thought I could do it. Can't imagine going back.
No, that's not true. I imagine how things would be every time the temptation came up.
Having pot on my mind ALL the time.
Worrying when my stash got low.
Scheduling my life around smoking.
Forgetting important things and letting stuff slide.
Isolating myself.
The self loathing, that was the worst.

And I reinforce my sobriety by enjoying what it has provided.
So much money saved.
Social interaction without awkwardness and worry.
Improved health; better eating habits, no cough, increased mental clarity and attitude, more energy and stamina.

Is there anything I miss about pot? No.

I wish I had done this earlier in my life, but I can't change what has happened.
What I can do is cherish and hold onto my sobriety like the precious thing it is.

My message for those who are struggling:
Never give up. No matter how long you've smoked or how heavy your use is, keep trying.
You can do it.

Dee74 06-25-2018 03:57 PM

I'm really proud for you, and happy, Lynn.
Congratulations! :)

D

lynnmarie123 06-25-2018 06:32 PM

Thanks Dee!
I'm pretty happy too!


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