New, anxiety
 

Hello all, the first thing that comes to my mind as I type this is embarrassment. I wish I had more contol over my mind than I do. I am in my mid 30's and have been drinking heavily since college (10 to 12 drinks a night), more on weekends and rarely took a day off. It has now been 44 days since my last drink. I am struggling !! I quit my job, I have not left the house since I quit. I have a general sense of disorientation that won't let up and feel like I am in a constant state of panic. The thought of being in public space that i can not escape from easy, freaks me out!! Even going to doctors is more than I can handle. i have had panic attacks all of my adult life, becoming more frequent as I have aged. Alochol has always been my go to medicine!! It's a bit of the "chicken or the egg" paradox for me. I don't remember having a panic attack before I started drinking so I wonder to myself... Did the alochol cause the panic disorder or did the panic disorder seek out the alochol?? I really want to have a drink to see if it would make me feel "normal" again, but I don't want give up all the hard work I have put in. Im exhausted!! I am so sick of feeling so low. I just want to see a light in the tunnel!

Hello, Welcome & Congratulations on day 44 JayG123 youl find lots of support here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

I never had a panic attack until I began to abuse alcohol. As I drank more, my hangovers turned into anxiety ridden waking nightmares. My brain was changed after all those years of being pickled. I just wasn't the same person.

However, everything I've been told and researched says that we can heal with sobriety. It may take a few months up to a few years depending on the individual , but the anxiety/panic does go away.

Keep looking to the long term benefits of sobriety!

Welcome to the Forum JayG!! :wave:

i had panic attacks bad and as a last ditch effort to resolve them i quit drinking it took some time but in time things started to settle down . i was a lot like you afraid to go out. i was afraid to drive worried i'd have a panic attack and kill someone etc.. things got better the longer i stayed sober. at 4 years sober i still have anxiety issues and if i'm not careful things can still spiral into panic but most of the time things are ok and far far better then they where back in those days. I'm happy it was as bad as it was becuase it makes me not ever wanna go back to that again. But I couldnt tell you that i'd say that at the time it was miserable.

I dont blame you for leaving yoru job its a horrible struggle to hold down work while dealing with this kinda stuff. I somehow managed to keep my employment I have no idea how. but i wrok from home so they probably never picked up on just how bad things where for me since no one ever saw me. I just had to fake it for 5 or 10 min here and there on the phone.

hang in there it will get better and ease up.

Welcome to SR, JayG123. I have never experienced a panic attack so don't have much to say on that subject, except that I can't imagine that drinking will make it better in the long term for sure and probably not even for the short term. Glad you're here and hope you'll start contributing regularly. There is a ton of great wisdom and support to be found here. You're in my thoughts and prayers today...

Welcome Jay. I thought alcohol helped with a lot of things, like sleep. Came to find out alcohol helped nothing. Don't drink. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of remedies to try before alcohol. The truth of the matter is, alcohol helps nothing. Be well.

Welcome JayG123 :) I have about the same number of sober days as you and have occasional panic attacks. Most of the time mine occur at night when I am trying to get to sleep. I don't recommend drinking. I usually close my eyes and focus on my breathing which seems to help me relax and get through them.

Welcome Jay :)

If your panic attacks are this debilitating I think you need to figure out way to get professional support.

Do you have someone who could go with you to an appointment for example?

D

Speaking on my experiences and coming on and off benders...lasting a few days to a week it took a solid 2 weeks accompanied with exercise, nutritious diet, and plenty of water to feel normal. Well my normal self anyways.

I think I have baseline anxiety to start with and I tried to drink the anxiety away. But as you know that only works for a little while. You have to stay passed out to avoid it. Who wants to live like that.
I have to admit that my anxiety was worse after I stopped drinking too. It was pretty bad- I don't know that it was actual panic attacks but bad enough to make me miserable at times. Fortunately I really didn't have any of the other symptoms of PAWS- just that awful anxiety. It was hard to deal with. What kept me going was the promise that it would eventually go away. And it did, but not for a few years. I think it helps to accept the anxiety, acknowledge it, breath with it, don't fight it. And eat right and take B vitamins.

I still have some anxiety if you push the right buttons but doesn't everyone?

Good luck. Quitting drinking was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but it was worth it.

Thank you all for your supportive words. A few more days gone by and still sober !! I have to tell you a big concern of mine is, going to the doctor will result in a prescription for xanax that I know can be very addicting!! I have already demonstrated my weakness in regards to addiction and don't want to start a new viscous cycle. Has anyone had any experience with anything like this?

Jay, I dealt with a similar issue. The Feeling Good Handbook is a great way, using cognitive behavioral therapy, to work through some of the issues. Another thing that helped me early on was taking magnesium, which is a natural beta blocker and helps block some of the receptors that are involved with panic & anxiety. I avoided the benzos because they scared me a bit, but the beta-blocking stuff really worked. You need to work on the mental processes, though, to make sure you get to the root of the anxiety issue(s).

By the way, something to remember with anxiety and panic...the amygdala in your brain actually physically swells after long periods of anxiety. It pushes on the parts of your brain that manage cognition and memories and actually, in a very real way, crowds out memory and other things that strangely go wonky with those of us with anxiety and panic :) Why that matters here is that you need to give yourself some grace while going through this. You may wonder during the process why you still feel out of sorts even though you may be well on your way to mental well-being. It takes a while to make that amygdala swell and trigger the fight-or-flight response over and over again, and it will take some time to go back down to normal even after you've "got it all figured out." Be gentle with yourself and try to work on the healing.

John

If you explain that to a Dr there may be other help available ?

Thank you for the insight John. Is magnesium over the counter? How much of that would you take? Anything to take down the panic down a notch would be greatly welcomed !!!

I have no idea what a Dr might prescribe for you.

The least you can do is go along, be honest about your problem and see what they suggest?

D

Just wanted to say congrats on the 44 days. I've only had a few panic attacks in my life and remember exactly how scary they were so I couldn't imagine having them on a daily basis. Try to remember that even though you might get that temporary relief from the bottle, it will really just make for a more stressful road in the long haul. I hope that you can find a healthy way to deal with your anxiety and feel better

Be upfront with the doctor about your addiction. I'd avoid benzos, certainly. I've been prescribed them in the past and it was tough to come off, really tough.

Congratulations on 44+ days sober that is awesome. I had anxiety just as you described in your post. I have to take the bad days with the good but I know I am doing the right thing staying away from booze. Booze will just send me right back to that anxiety riddled hell I was stuck in for so long.

I am nearing 200 days and yes I get anxiety still but it is much more manageable than it was. I too was afraid of driving or going to the supermarket but I just made it from ny to California on a flight for work. This I didn't think was possible 3 months ago so keep going and it will get better, I look forward to how I will feel after a year sober.

Valerian root is not addicting, over the counter, safe. Smells foul, but it helps the take the edge off anxiety.

Lots on You Tube regarding guided imagery or meditation for anxiety, and deep breathing for anxiety, I have found those helpful too. Best to you!!

Congrats on your sober time! :) My anxiety settled down a lot a few months after I got sober. It will get better. :)

Just a reminder - please do share your experience - but don't recommend medications etc. for others. That runs counter to our no medical advice rule.

thanks :)

Dee
Moderator
SR

i found the extract of valerian root to work ok i needed strong doeses in my case and it only worked for an hour or two and sometimes it back fired and went the other way.

GABA worked for a little bit then it didnt. 5htp worked well but you have to avoid that if your on any kind of an SSRI already.

meditation diet and exercise also help. There is nomagical cure it takes time for things to even out and till then all we can do is work with it.

Congrats on the 44 days, a huge accomplishment! In my personal experience (heavy drinking for years like you), the withdrawal symptoms were similar. It gets better with time, and in my case, meds, but it's definitely uncomfortable. The unrelenting anxiety, sleeplessness and dizziness were awful, but they did get so much better. I'm 9 months sober now and only have anxiety attacks occasionally. Alcohol was my medicine too and it took my brain a long time to get past that crutch and deal with it.

Hang in there as it will get better! :)

Caveat: Magnesium simply helped reduce my anxiety, I recommend asking your doctor if that or any other supplement may be right for you.

That said, it's simply a vitamin (mineral to be exact, but it's 100% over the counter). I just took 1 vitamin pill as per the directions. Another thing that seemed to help was a vitamin called L-Theanine, which is also over-the-counter and can be found at whole foods or one of those vitamin shops. It's an extract from green tea that helps promote calmness. Again, it worked for me and it may not work for you. These are just over-the-counter vitamins and are not intended or approved to treat any disease.

So it has now been 9 weeks without a drink!!! The anxiety has lessened ever so slightly. It still very much has contol over me. I am keeping my eyes on the three month mark and hoping there will be a breakthrough by then!!! Something new that has been developing is very strong headaches that radiate up the neck to the temples. I have been drinking lots of water and talking multi vitamins, I wonder if this is a symptom of PAWS? Trying to stay positive and keep my thoughts on the life that is ahead of me! Anyone with anxiety and or migranes after quitting please chime in, I would love to hear from you!!!

It could be a number of things. first and foremost, drinking won't "help". I find a trip to the chiropractor or message therapist helpful as it releases chemicals in the body that cause the tension you are referring to. Wish you the best.

Have you thought about seeing a Dr for your headaches Jay - they sound pretty debilitating?

D

Jay, you are on a similar path as me. Congrats on your progress.

Your body is scaring you into trying drinking. Mine did too, but I fought it off.

My progress started with feeling good sitting still, then feeling better moving in familiar place, then sitting still in unfamilar places, etc.

Bottom line..it got progressively better. SR said it was my brain rewiring.

I never had anxiety attacks as a kid, but I drank as a kid. It was fun at the time.

When I quit anxiety was everywhere. At 44 days, it was still pretty bad.

Now, after 96 days, it is moderate to minor periodically except when I drive on the highway.

It also gets better or worse if i am tired while driving. So, based on the fact that it has gotten better so far, I expect it to continually get better.

I have read to face it head on. To put myself in uncomfortable situations and deal with it. Seems to work.

Drinking again will nullify it for 1 day and then it is back again, and I am on day 1.

No thanks.

I don't know what others feels, so if a person needs meds, I dare not judge.

9 Weeks is fantastic Jay!! :scoregood