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New, anxiety

Old 07-20-2015, 01:56 PM
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New, anxiety

Hello all, the first thing that comes to my mind as I type this is embarrassment. I wish I had more contol over my mind than I do. I am in my mid 30's and have been drinking heavily since college (10 to 12 drinks a night), more on weekends and rarely took a day off. It has now been 44 days since my last drink. I am struggling !! I quit my job, I have not left the house since I quit. I have a general sense of disorientation that won't let up and feel like I am in a constant state of panic. The thought of being in public space that i can not escape from easy, freaks me out!! Even going to doctors is more than I can handle. i have had panic attacks all of my adult life, becoming more frequent as I have aged. Alochol has always been my go to medicine!! It's a bit of the "chicken or the egg" paradox for me. I don't remember having a panic attack before I started drinking so I wonder to myself... Did the alochol cause the panic disorder or did the panic disorder seek out the alochol?? I really want to have a drink to see if it would make me feel "normal" again, but I don't want give up all the hard work I have put in. Im exhausted!! I am so sick of feeling so low. I just want to see a light in the tunnel!
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Old 07-20-2015, 02:11 PM
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Hello, Welcome & Congratulations on day 44 JayG123 youl find lots of support here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
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Old 07-20-2015, 02:39 PM
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I never had a panic attack until I began to abuse alcohol. As I drank more, my hangovers turned into anxiety ridden waking nightmares. My brain was changed after all those years of being pickled. I just wasn't the same person.

However, everything I've been told and researched says that we can heal with sobriety. It may take a few months up to a few years depending on the individual , but the anxiety/panic does go away.

Keep looking to the long term benefits of sobriety!
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Old 07-20-2015, 02:39 PM
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Welcome to the Forum JayG!!
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Old 07-20-2015, 03:02 PM
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i had panic attacks bad and as a last ditch effort to resolve them i quit drinking it took some time but in time things started to settle down . i was a lot like you afraid to go out. i was afraid to drive worried i'd have a panic attack and kill someone etc.. things got better the longer i stayed sober. at 4 years sober i still have anxiety issues and if i'm not careful things can still spiral into panic but most of the time things are ok and far far better then they where back in those days. I'm happy it was as bad as it was becuase it makes me not ever wanna go back to that again. But I couldnt tell you that i'd say that at the time it was miserable.

I dont blame you for leaving yoru job its a horrible struggle to hold down work while dealing with this kinda stuff. I somehow managed to keep my employment I have no idea how. but i wrok from home so they probably never picked up on just how bad things where for me since no one ever saw me. I just had to fake it for 5 or 10 min here and there on the phone.

hang in there it will get better and ease up.
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Old 07-20-2015, 03:08 PM
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Welcome to SR, JayG123. I have never experienced a panic attack so don't have much to say on that subject, except that I can't imagine that drinking will make it better in the long term for sure and probably not even for the short term. Glad you're here and hope you'll start contributing regularly. There is a ton of great wisdom and support to be found here. You're in my thoughts and prayers today...
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Old 07-20-2015, 03:15 PM
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Welcome Jay. I thought alcohol helped with a lot of things, like sleep. Came to find out alcohol helped nothing. Don't drink. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of remedies to try before alcohol. The truth of the matter is, alcohol helps nothing. Be well.
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Old 07-20-2015, 03:33 PM
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Welcome JayG123 I have about the same number of sober days as you and have occasional panic attacks. Most of the time mine occur at night when I am trying to get to sleep. I don't recommend drinking. I usually close my eyes and focus on my breathing which seems to help me relax and get through them.
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Old 07-20-2015, 05:45 PM
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Welcome Jay

If your panic attacks are this debilitating I think you need to figure out way to get professional support.

Do you have someone who could go with you to an appointment for example?

D
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Old 07-20-2015, 05:56 PM
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Speaking on my experiences and coming on and off benders...lasting a few days to a week it took a solid 2 weeks accompanied with exercise, nutritious diet, and plenty of water to feel normal. Well my normal self anyways.
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Old 07-20-2015, 07:49 PM
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I think I have baseline anxiety to start with and I tried to drink the anxiety away. But as you know that only works for a little while. You have to stay passed out to avoid it. Who wants to live like that.
I have to admit that my anxiety was worse after I stopped drinking too. It was pretty bad- I don't know that it was actual panic attacks but bad enough to make me miserable at times. Fortunately I really didn't have any of the other symptoms of PAWS- just that awful anxiety. It was hard to deal with. What kept me going was the promise that it would eventually go away. And it did, but not for a few years. I think it helps to accept the anxiety, acknowledge it, breath with it, don't fight it. And eat right and take B vitamins.

I still have some anxiety if you push the right buttons but doesn't everyone?

Good luck. Quitting drinking was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but it was worth it.
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Old 07-22-2015, 10:04 AM
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Thank you all for your supportive words. A few more days gone by and still sober !! I have to tell you a big concern of mine is, going to the doctor will result in a prescription for xanax that I know can be very addicting!! I have already demonstrated my weakness in regards to addiction and don't want to start a new viscous cycle. Has anyone had any experience with anything like this?
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Old 07-22-2015, 10:19 AM
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Jay, I dealt with a similar issue. The Feeling Good Handbook is a great way, using cognitive behavioral therapy, to work through some of the issues. Another thing that helped me early on was taking magnesium, which is a natural beta blocker and helps block some of the receptors that are involved with panic & anxiety. I avoided the benzos because they scared me a bit, but the beta-blocking stuff really worked. You need to work on the mental processes, though, to make sure you get to the root of the anxiety issue(s).

By the way, something to remember with anxiety and panic...the amygdala in your brain actually physically swells after long periods of anxiety. It pushes on the parts of your brain that manage cognition and memories and actually, in a very real way, crowds out memory and other things that strangely go wonky with those of us with anxiety and panic Why that matters here is that you need to give yourself some grace while going through this. You may wonder during the process why you still feel out of sorts even though you may be well on your way to mental well-being. It takes a while to make that amygdala swell and trigger the fight-or-flight response over and over again, and it will take some time to go back down to normal even after you've "got it all figured out." Be gentle with yourself and try to work on the healing.

John
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Old 07-22-2015, 10:21 AM
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If you explain that to a Dr there may be other help available ?
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Old 07-22-2015, 01:53 PM
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Thank you for the insight John. Is magnesium over the counter? How much of that would you take? Anything to take down the panic down a notch would be greatly welcomed !!!
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:57 PM
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I have to tell you a big concern of mine is, going to the doctor will result in a prescription for xanax that I know can be very addicting!!
I have no idea what a Dr might prescribe for you.

The least you can do is go along, be honest about your problem and see what they suggest?

D
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:15 PM
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Just wanted to say congrats on the 44 days. I've only had a few panic attacks in my life and remember exactly how scary they were so I couldn't imagine having them on a daily basis. Try to remember that even though you might get that temporary relief from the bottle, it will really just make for a more stressful road in the long haul. I hope that you can find a healthy way to deal with your anxiety and feel better
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:20 PM
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Be upfront with the doctor about your addiction. I'd avoid benzos, certainly. I've been prescribed them in the past and it was tough to come off, really tough.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:45 PM
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Congratulations on 44+ days sober that is awesome. I had anxiety just as you described in your post. I have to take the bad days with the good but I know I am doing the right thing staying away from booze. Booze will just send me right back to that anxiety riddled hell I was stuck in for so long.

I am nearing 200 days and yes I get anxiety still but it is much more manageable than it was. I too was afraid of driving or going to the supermarket but I just made it from ny to California on a flight for work. This I didn't think was possible 3 months ago so keep going and it will get better, I look forward to how I will feel after a year sober.
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Old 07-22-2015, 05:18 PM
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Valerian root is not addicting, over the counter, safe. Smells foul, but it helps the take the edge off anxiety.

Lots on You Tube regarding guided imagery or meditation for anxiety, and deep breathing for anxiety, I have found those helpful too. Best to you!!
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