Hello again June peeps. I messed up again this weekend.. excuses, excuses. I am back on track today.

What happened this weekend is that I had 3 graduation parties to go to... how do you guys deal with parties and gatherings?

Addingitup asks about motivations to drink- Why do we drink... More I think about MY addiction, more I believe I was born with it; or I have delevoped it somehow... but I do not blame anybody anymore. I do not blame myself. I did not drink more than others in my teens. Probably I drank much less than my peers. I did not drink much in my early twenties and again no more than my peers. The problem is at some point, difficult to know when, the others stop and I did not... The same way, all my friends tried tobacco and not all of them got addicted to it. I have tried coke and marihuana very few times and never fell for it despite being quite easily available to me. Short of never being exposed to alcohol, there is little I could have done not to become an alcoholic. in that sense I understand this powerless thing of AA.

I am having a very tough time not to drink tonight. It is so normal to drink with my husband is away.... This is really insane. My kids are 3 and 5 yo. They sleep with me and if I drink I would wake up every 30 min. in panick thinking that if something happens to them I may not notice.

I was thinking different ways of telling my husband I am an alcoholic and I am almost sure the most difficult part would be convincing him that I am. I wonder how long more I would be able to hide either because I do stop alltogether or, the much worse scenario, because I cannot stop and then it will be visible very soon

Day 3 for me, I've kept occupied over the weekend with family so urges weren't so bad.. today I had a meeting with a phsy. though and wanted to drink tonight so bad. The urge has past now though and I'm planning on exercising and not looking to far past that but looking forward to waking up to day 4.

Day 10 almost complete :-)

The weekend was pretty tough but i just kept busy busy busy!!!

I cant tell you how good it feels living in sobriety - my confidence is coming back, as is my self esteem, and an inner peace.

Only now that i am putting some distance between myself and my drunkeness can i appreciate what a mess and a rut i was in. I was literally dragging myself through from one day to the next.

Now, I can concentrate and perform so much better at work. I am a better mother, and a better friend :-)

I know I could never have done this without the support of SR -thank you so much

..day 6, 4 me li'll Junites...lol..ozy..

"1 day at at a time.."

..Hey! this is my 3rd attempt since joining SR..

..I don't wanna go thru the sh!tty withdrawl BS..any more..:headbange

Happy to say that after all the wrong thoughts in my mind... I am heading to bed and I did not drink today- Will feel great for this tomorrow. It was very difficult but done.

Wilde - I was/am going through the same thing with my husband. I have told him repeatedly that he is married to an alcoholic and he has his head in the sand. Says that if I "listen to him and stop when he says stop" then I will be fine. I have told him that I have not been fine for almost 5 years now...check out the date I joined SR. I have tried, with some short-term success over the years, but have always fallen off the wagon. I just decided that he can't make me stop drinking, and while I would like his 100% support, I won't get it. He did have a bad experience drinking last week, which gave him some clue, but I think it will only be a matter of time before he tells me its okay to drink again. Wish I had the magic answer, but I don't. I guess what resonates the most with me about your post is your children are very young and you need to make sure they are always safe. What if you are drunk one night and one of them is ill and needs attention? What if you needed to get one of them to a hospital and you couldn't drive them? Perhaps if you try to think of it as a matter of keeping your children safe, you will stop. Well, no matter what age your children are you need to keep them safe - that is your first obligation as a parent. Perhaps trying to get in that mindset migh work for you. Just a thought.

KC (childless)

not sure if i'm the best one to answer this as i have social anxiety along w/ alcoholism. so i most definitely use alcohol as a crutch in party situations.

i'm only on day 13 now but in the past when i made lone runs of sobriety, i would avoid parties altogether or show up fairly early and congratulate people on graduation, b-day, etc.. and then make an early escape.

if your early in sobriety, i imagine it is just not worth the risk of putting yourself in that environment. if people care for you, they should understand that you need to work on sobriety instead of going to the party.

I'm back at day one. Feeling a little low about it but today I finally got a sponsor... It's still June so I guess I'm still in the right thread...

Guess I'm a June bug too. Hello to all the other June bugs!

Do I have to go with the bug analogy? I really don't feel like a bug. Well, maybe a squashed one......

Day 6 for me, it's the evening here. I was back at work today, it was good not to have a hangover. I have been craving coffee. I had an argument with my fiancee tonight and I thought how good it would be to have a glass (ha! more like ten) of wine but stopped myself by telling myself it wouldn't help matters and I don't want to throw away the last few days.

Keep going everyone!

KC1, thank you for your thoughts... Actually, one thing I have learned it is better for me not to do is to use the children as an excuse to drink, or not to drink. I mean, I am very, very aware if I am alone with them that if something happens to them I better be sober. I am not going to lie. I have drunk in the past with them in the house - Then if I have thought I may have overdone it, I have vomited as much as possible... sorry this is really sick and too much information, probably. An then i have stayed awake close to them until I considered myself sober enough to sleep without being a danger. An still I would wake up in full panick every half an hour to check.

Fortunately, so far, they have been sick several times in the night (one of them with febrile convulsions and she hardly made a noise) and luck of all lucks I was always 100 percent sober... My problem is the hiding. If I use my kids to focus on the non-drinking I will for sure get in a big binge when they are not around. And I travel at least once a month. Every time I try to tell myself I am not an alcoholic because I do not drink everyday (although I would like to) and because I keep some control, i only need to think of what happens when I am alone... It is total chaos. My kids and my husband are keeping me 'under control' because I am too ashamed to show this to anybody. But if I do not start doing this for myself I am goingo to get to a very bad place.

It is so liberating to write about this. By the way, English is not my mother tongue. I wonder why I did not look for a forum in my own language - Is this part of my hiding too?

Wish best of lucks to all of us and see if we can get into a very sober July.

May I join the June group? My sobriety date is 6-14-10. I'm new. :c011:

Welcome to SR mf150! Of course you can join the June Group - it's for anyone getting sober in June. I think you will find a lot of support here! :welcome

Day 4 for me, sweeties! Have a great, drink-less day!!

Welcome DG!!

I'm with you on that point!

Day 4 for me too dancinggirl, I feel better each day have not drank the night before even if I don't sleep well. I am so tired of the withdrawls and dependence on it too. I get cravings/habits everyday after work which is the worst time for me so I'm prepared each day for it to come. Looking forward to day 5 and getting in a good week.

Thanks for the response! I do think that is good advice.. either just avoid the situation or leave early. At least for now. I think (hope) my friends will understand.

In other news, I made it to day 2 finally. I feel good, very proud of myself. Last time around I got really sick on the 3rd day. I'm really hoping that doesn't happen, I have to work tomorrow.

..L'llchic..keep the blood sugar up..drink fruit juice n ya mite not
..get so sick...take care....ozy..:c031:

Day deux.

It really helps knowing that others are going through the detox process. I didn't know how dependant I was until I stopped drinking two days ago.

My bones seem to ache.:wild

Sorry I dissapeared there's for awhile. I went on a bender for the last week or so. But I'm going to do my best to pick myself back up. Today is day 2.

With the way I am feeling, I can only go through withdrawls once...I'm pulling my hair out (not literally).

CherryD-

I'm on day two, too (almost day 3).

:headbange

Welcome back, CherryD. Day 3 for me. Somehow I managed to sleep 6 hours last night, so I am feeling very confident this morning that it's going to be a great day!

Oh, and something I don't miss - starting my day with a Zantac 150 and two Pepcid Completes. The indigestion clears up very quickly when I stop drinking. :)

Hello June bugs! Feeling great at the end of day 2!!
I hope everyone is well

xo
:e130:

Day 3!

Is there any trick to getting some sleep? Feels like my mind is going 1000 miles per hour. my head hurts, too. And I feel warm. Is this normal?

Usually I don't complain, but this feels likE one heck of a hang over!

Day 3! Feeling okay so far. Not great - headache, fogginess, but no vomiting. So.. there's that

i'm sure everyone is different but these things sometimes work for me. i find that increased blood flow helps me a little in falling asleep. so a couple hours before bed, i will take a shower to get blood flowing and follow that up w/ some calming tea. then about a half hour before bed will take a low dose aspirin for headache and backache, increased blood flow, and help for my ailing heart. directly before bed, will do yoga type strectches and calf raises. the strectching and light lifting on muscles gives them that warm, tired feeling before crawling into bed. i might read a little before bed or try to go to bed directly. but if my mind starts racing, i will turn on the light and read for a little longer distracting mind to different thought pattern. rinse and repeat until asleep. if i wake in the middle of the night, more stretches and maybe into my message chair, then back to bed.