Day 2
 

Wow only day 2, feels like month 2. Very tired, keep thinking about the 18 beers Id normally have (well they are light beers after all, right?) and the half a pack of smokes. Bought some nicotine gum, man is that stuff expensive. I might have me one of those. My two cravings seem to go hand in hand, smoke and drink.

Are night sweats temporary? Please tell me they stop. I wake up soaked 4 or so times in the nite. Never been sober long enough before to see if they stop. Thanks again for the support and help.

They stop but it was always at least a week for me...mind you, I live in the tropics HFA.

D

HFA..yeah they stop..but it's good to flush all the cr@p from your
body..fruit juice will help alot..ok??....:c031: Ozy..

I went to the meeting...and still alive. :) It was hard for me to make myself go and hard for me to make myself walk in. I was also nervous because I have a job in the community that concerns me if others find out - but I made the decision that I really think this will help me. The meeting I went to was a beginners, discussion meeting. There were about 30 people there and including me there were 7 women.

I had told myself before I went that I was going to talk and introduce myself - also got some advice from a member on the SR board and he encouraged me to do this as well. I went in and sat down - and then listened to the others speak. When someone wanted to talk they just said their name and that they were an alcoholic and then shared - the topic for the night was "gratitude". I sat and listened - I could hear parts of my own story in everyone who spoke. I really didn't think I was going to have the nerve to introduce myself, but I did. I told everyone that I was new to this and that I was grateful for having 12 days and that I was grateful for making myself walk into the meeting. Everyone clapped and gave me lots of encouraging words - it was wonderful. I also said that I was interested in getting a temporary sponsor for the moment and anxious to start working on the steps.

As soon as the meeting ended all of the women came up to me and gave me their phone numbers. One woman said that she would be "thrilled" to be my sponsor. She lives in the next neighborhood from mine and we are planning to go walking tomorrow morning. She seems like someone I can relate to and really seems genuinely excited to work with me.

I am very excited about tonight, a bit nervous still too because I have isolated so long and only really socialized when there was drink involved. But knowing that she is also an alchoholic and understands is a huge connection and I have a feeling she will understand where I am coming from. :)

Everyone kept asking me how I got to 12 days on my own after drinking every day for the last 5 to 6 years - I told them I had found a really great online support group. :)

..what a lovely story..thank-you..Ozy..:grouphug:

Starting day 17! :grouphug:

Back to square 1
 

So I drank on Sunday, 'in moderation'. then on Monday and yesterday... back to the future I do not want to have. I really like the June group, so this is my last chance to belong to this one.
It is so incredibly stupid. I do not suffer (yet) from any withdrawal symptoms. I feel better straight away when I do not drink. I sleep better, my whole me feels better. And still, put kids in bed, sit with husband and other friends for the past 3 days and convince myself I do not have a big issue and I can drink one. But it is never one and I always stop wanting more, but conscious nobody else is drinking as much and as fast as I do. Well, you kow the feeling. I feel terrible today but want to be on your boat... So here I am. Firmly determined to not drink today and stop thinking about tomorrow, next week/month/year.
Happy to see many of you are doing a fantastic job!

Welcome back Wilde10 :)

D

Well I was with the May group, but I guess I'll join your group, hello everyone, today is Day one. Again, that goes without saying I guess....

Good Morning Friends :)

I wanted to post last night, but I was just too tired to type my thoughts out. My children and I were hanging out with friends yesterday afternoon and we all ended up hanging out into the evening. At one point my friend reminded me that I still had my beers in her fridge and when her husband arrived home, he did as well. Everyone was drinking either beer or wine and smoking. Everyone but me. Several times I was offered a drink. I drank Polar Seltzer and regular water instead. There were quite a few times where I thought that I could have "just one". At one point, I had even forgotten about this committment to not drinking at all (for anyone reading this that does not know me, I have been drinking "moderately" since the end of last summer). Anyway...I remembered the last time I had been there. How I was so self-conscious about how many beers I was having. I had had 3, but had wanted more. I was SO paranoid driving home that night...it was awful. Watching my friends last night, I was amazed by how many drinks they all had. When I was drinking alongside them, I thought it was just ME kicking them back so easily. And on second thought, maybe it WAS...it's just that I spent the second half of our time trying to STOP drinking because I had to drive. I don't know...The best part of the night was driving home, not having to worry. It was also nice to come into the house and not feel like I was "done" in terms of caring for my children. AND...it's nice not to feel paranoid this morning.

In some ways, I almost rather say "Hey, I am fighting an alcohol addiction" in response to their questions because I almost felt like they thought I was being a party-pooper or (and I'm probably just worrying here) thought I was better than everyone else. I don't know...

Honestly, I didn't miss it. At all. What I did miss was feeling part of everyone...I did feel a little left out. I don't know...

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it :)

traderjane...Peppermint patties are yummy! :) Here we are on DAY 10 partner! :)

livefierce...I have not seen La Croix Sparkling Water...is it similar to San Pellegrino? CONGRATS on kicking the wine! :) YIPPEE!!!

solareclipse...WELCOME and CONGRATS on your (now) Day 4! WHOO-HOO! :)

super71...Good stuff is happening! :) I am so happy you enjoyed your meeting. It sounds wonderful! You are closing in on the two week mark! That's SO AWESOME! :)

Almath...Thank you for your kinds words! :) I love SP too :) It really helped me to stop my daily drinking habit last year.

alexvt...I hope you have a really great playdate today! :) I know you are going come through with flying colors. Just remind yourself that you will feel so much better if you just say NO this time. Each time it will get easier and easier...I promise! :) Let us know how it goes and I hope you get to make your 8pm meeting! :)

discoveringme...I hope you are feeling great today! YOU CAN DO IT! :)

Oz...YOU rock! I remember having some night sweats when I stopped drinking everyday. It's so freaky how bad alcohol is for our body! So glad we don't have to worry about THAT anymore! :)

HFA... I remember feeling like this. It DOES get better. I promise! And those sweats are a very good sign...just like Oz said. Can you believe you had all those toxins built up? EEKS! You are on your way to a much healthier you! :)

Dee74...Hello there :)

mf150...Congrats on racking up those days! That is SO AWESOME! Keep on keeping on! :)

Wilde10 and californiapoppy...Oh, do I ever know this feeling. Jump back on...YOU CAN DO IT! :)

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL day! :)
Love,

Breakfree,
Thank you for your words. When I am not drinking it always feels like people are drinking huge amounts... and normally they are. i believe us heavy drinkers/alcoholics tend to get along with other people who overdo it. I have a couple of non-drinker friends but the vast majority drink like there is not tomorrow. Still...........when I am drinking I do drink more and faster than the others despite trying no to.
How perspective changes when I drink amazes me... All of a sudden, these friends who can gulp a whole bottle of wine per head seem to drink moderately when I am at it too.

Morning all.
Closing in on 3 weeks here. It has been going a little smoother than I anticipated but I am not taking anything for granted.
I made decision at the start to distance myself from my old drinking buddies. Been hanging out with the family more and with other friends who are recovering or don't drink at all. I don't think I could have made it this far being around my old (drinking) circle of friends.
Everything is better.... home life, sleep, memory, etc. with one exception and that is fatigue. A few days after I stopped drinking, I had a complete physical. Everything was normal ( I couldn't believe it.) except my BP was slightly elevated. Dr. put me on a low dose of BP meds. I've read that both quitting drinking and the BP meds can cause tiredness.
My question to the other newly retired drinkers out there is if they have had this same lack of energy. Not sure if I should call the Dr. and tell him the meds are making me tired or ride it out and see if my body adjusts.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Marcus

Hey BreakFree! I started to type, "I'm so proud of you for your accomplishment last night," but that sounded a little weird because we don't really know each other yet, do we? But, I feel something for you … more than happy. Impressed! I'm impressed with your strength and focus. And I thank you for sharing your experience.

Californiapoppy, we're happy to have you as a Junie.

Wilde, if anything comforts and calms me, it's the realization that I only have to worry about today! And today, I'm not drinking. We can't change yesterday, or Monday, or Sunday, and we don't have to worry about Thursday or Friday yet. We only have to deal with today.

Yesterday, I was experiencing a high level of frustration and impatience, mostly with work situations. I posted something on Facebook about it, and every response (except from my friend who I shared with over the weekend about my drinking) was along the lines of coping with my day with a bottle of wine! That showed me two things: First, how my reputation as a wino is very firmly established; and second, how pervasive alcohol as a "normal" coping mechanism is. I kept replying to friends' comments that I was going to work out to cope.

Finally, when a friend called me late last night to ask me to be his "date" to a party, I just blurted out, "I quit drinking. And I've been going to church on Friday nights, which is why you haven't seen me at the last few parties." And he was like, "OK. So, do you want to be my date or not?" I said that as long as I could go to church from 7 to 8 and then go to the party, I was game. And, because he's really a friend, he was like, Of course I'll meet you after church! Why wouldn't I? He acted like it was a non-issue, which I hope it is. I'm willing it to be a non-issue.

All that is to say, I'm going to a party Friday night. I'm going to take my La Croix waters and be with friends who obviously know me as a big ol' wino. This will be a pretty big test for me, I think. But, I also feel like my "date" is already an ally, so I feel better about that. There is at least one more friend I can recruit as a lifeline who will be there. I kind of expect this experience to show me who "gets it" and is a true friend, and who I can totally live without and now begin to ignore.

(Man, I'm wordy!)

"How am I supposed to not think about alcohol when every second character on tv is drinking it/every celebration, it's there? "
TV can probably really contribute to slips - why not consider giving it up for awhile and just watch movies - I like having control over what i choose to watch and allow into my head. I gave up television about 5 yrs ago, and stay informed about things thru other methods- nwspaper, etc.
its just a thought.:c031:

I meditate on this quite often - an again, it came to mind a second ago, "For God has not given us a spirit of FEAR, but of power, LOVE, and of a sound mind" 2 Timothy 1:7

I too gave up on TV about 2 yrs ago. There is a tv in my kids bedroom, but I don't have nor watch TV in the main parts of the apartment. I don't miss it at all.

Today is day 3. At work and lunch. Had a Baja salad and unsweet iced tea from Wendy's. Felt a little weird and light headed after lunch. Like in a fog. Hope all of us make it thru the day.

Happy Wednesday to all! It is day 13 for me. I met my sponsor this morning to go on a walk - I like her even more now and feel very comfortable talking with her. I was very unsure about the whole AA thing, but she seems very down to earth and not a big God person either like me. I was really concerned about the religious aspect of it all, I can acknowledge a higher power of some sort, but not the Jesus, God, etc... (hope this doesn't offend anyone) She is also not pushing me to do the 90 meetings in 90 days or anything like that - but has encouraged me to go with her to check out different formats and to try to get to 3 a week - at least over the summer while I am not working. I think this is doable for me.

I cleaned out the walk-in closet in my bedroom this morning and found 4 empty wine bottles, a cork screw and a wine glass...aggh.... I used to drink a bottle BEFORE my boyfriend came over at night (and then hide it) because the one bottle he always brought would never be enough for the two of us to SHARE. Was a good reminder of things. :(

Wilde - Hang in here girl. :) Your words in my early days so far have given me so much strength - please know we are all here for you and understand.

mf150 - congrats on 17 days!!

californiapoppy - Welcom - we are glad to have you!

Almath - Thanks for all of your encouraging words!

Breakfree - Congrats on being so strong! It is great to not have that paranoia isn't it?

Myliberty - Congrats on THREE WEEKS! and on your Drs appt. I have one tomorrow and am a bit nervous - I am hoping my bp has gone down a bit since I have quit the drink, but I still smoke..blech. My only physical symptom since quitting drinking is that I am unable to go to sleep at night and stay up half the night and am exhausted ALL OF THE TIME.

Livefierce - have fun on your date and good for you preparing for it before hand by bringing drinks AND explaining to your "date" what's going on with you so that he will be supportive. Good move.

Revelation - I gave up TV - aside from The Disney Channel (lol) which I watch with my kids - the news was so depressing all the time it was just making me ill.

Traderjane, solareclipse, OZ, Discoveringme - How are you guys doing?? :)

Hope I didn't forget anyone!

We can do this - if we just keep trying.

HFA - Congrats on day 3! What does your screenname stand for?? (if you don't mind sharing)

Weeeeehooooo! Our thread just hit the 6,000 view mark. We're like celebrities!:scoregood

MelindaFlowers,

Hey! How are you doing...how could I forget you :) Hope you are doing well! 6000 woohoo!

HFA = Highly Functioning Alcoholic

I have a very good job making real good money. I run a department in an education enviroment. I make decisions of a 6 figure budget daily. So I'm functional. But, as Ive stated before,I have recently been late to work, called off sick, and just put in my hrs and go home.

Oh, and congrats on your day 13!!! when I joined you had 2 and I was on one. Now look at the difference. Way to be strong. Let's hope from now on, I am always 10 day behind you. And you just keep blazing a path forward.

:c011:

Hi Super!

Everything is going well here. I am just over two weeks and feeling good. My sleeping has normalized a little bit. My "witching hour" has switched to 7-9 pm from 5-7. It's strange to me. During those two hours I have to be busy and alone, with the emphasis on alone . Not sure how else to explain it. It's like I am possessed for two hours, so I just plan ahead. The other night I was digging holes for plants, the next night I went to the gym, and tonight I'm thinking of taking the sledgehammer to something, maybe this concrete slab I've been wanting to get rid of for awhile.

Then around 9 o'clock it's like I return to my normal body and everything is fine. Luckily after 9 pm the craving is almost zero. Does anyone else have a similar time of the evening?

It's so great to read everyone's updates from the group! I'll check in later!

Alrighty then, day one test starts in one hour. I will not stop and get a tall boy on the way home, I will not stop and get a tall boy on the way home, etc.

Hi Hoghunter,

Day 1 was ten times harder than day 2 for me. You can do it, just keep focused. I like to tell myself that not drinking does not restrict what I can do during the evening, in fact I can do whatever I want. I can go see a movie, call friends, surf the net, go out to dinner, anything . I'm new to this too.

I recommend indulging yourself in something relatively healthy. For me that's always been food. For me, a night without my former companion, booze, felt a lot better with a big bowl of cookie dough ice cream

Keep us posted on how your evening is progressing.

Hi Folks :c031:

Day 5 under my belt - so far so good. I am really enjoying my sobriety and so are my kids.

Life is so much more enjoyable when it isnt being viewed through the bottom of a glass.

Take care and stay strong :slomo:

..mawnin' all..

..July in Oz now..but always June in my heart..:tyou


...mylibs?
My question to the other newly retired drinkers out there is if they have had this same lack of energy. Not sure if I should call the Dr. and tell him the meds are making me tired or ride it out and see if my body adjusts.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.


..yeah,I did..but now the energy(in my 4th wk)is returnin'..Ozy..

BTW:eat a hearty 'breakfast'....LOL.

Whoo hoo Junies, we've made it to July. Pinch, punch and white rabbits to you all!! G.xx

FHA - Thanks! I hope we stay exactly 10 days apart from now on - for both of our sakes! :)

Melinda - I think it's a great idea for you to keep so busy during those times - and sounds very productive! I am trying to get a lot done and stay busy in general - it really helps. I don't really have a "witching hour", but when I am alone it definately becomes much harder to let those urges not set in. I get fleeting thoughts of wanting a drink throughout the entire day...

Crystal - Congrats!

Hoghunter - Welcome! :)

Oz - :)

Ack! It's July already? Tomorrow? Where is the summer getting to? Seems like yesterday it was Memorial Day!