With a few weeks sobriety passed and the acute physical symptoms easing I'm starting to sense my emotions more vividly and it's not suprising to find them a little raw.

Thinking about it, and not unusually, I drank most during the greatest highs and lows. Burying my emotions in booze.

I guess learning to cope with, and I hope eventualy thrive on my emotions is going to be a big part of my recovery, and I think it's going to take a little time before we get reaquantied again.

Afterall, it's been a long time. :)

I think crying is good therapy, I don't do it enough,

Watching re-run of NCIS LA but time for bed, Day 1 done.

Beginning of day two for me. I felt pretty good yesterday and I'm feeling a little bit better than that today.
I am planning on getting a few hours sleep during the day (if possible) and building the courage to venture outside to the shop and take the dog for a small walk :) he has been so patient lately bless him! Once the alcohol is out my system, going to start taking him on long walks again.

Glad to see so many people doing so well *high 5* (for some reason Ali G's voice popped in my head as I wrote that lol)

Day 16. I am absolutely miserable. The cold, dark Canadian winter is a factor but my misery goes much deeper. Every time I sober up, I am faced with the same existential crisis which has been plaguing me for the last decade. I have been living on the margins of society for years. Not solely because of my alcoholism but rather ADHD, a hidden disability that really has nothing to do with attention span. I have had to figure out my limitations the hard way.

I won't drink today. That's I can do for now.

What is it you would like to have in your life and what causes you to be despairing at the moment if you don't mind me asking?

I lost everything. I am bankrupt and unemployable. Lost my career, relationships, posessions. Undiagnosed ADHD was the driving force of my demise, not the alcohol. It is a devastating disability for an undiagnosed adult. The damage has been done. No coming back from where I am.

Well, there is a way I am sure. Just haven't found it yet. Right now, just concentrating on sobriety is all I should be worrying about.

I had a little bit of that the other day. I remember it from my first quit last year. That raw feeling of emotion. I felt like I was naked and vulnerable for a little bit. Not long, thank goodness.
It will most likely pass, sooner than later. There's a lot of things coming back online and needs a little time to warm up and integrate.

Yeah, that is hard thing about mental health of leaves us reaching for a life we once had or a life we want and I think I'm beginning to realise my choice is that kind of struggle, with the hope I can make it better in small steps, or the struggle of drinking. I'm fed up with both but the drinking is worse.

I think the stage you are at I will face the same issues too when I'm at that point.

It is hard when you are in that frame of mind too. Like everything you do just seems pointless. I think I just have to acknowledge some days I will have to just curl up in a ball in front of a TV.

Have you felt like that throughout your sobriety?

Day 17. Feeling a lot better today. Going to take the time I need to let this body and emotions heal. I have a lot of catching up to do here, but not a lot of extra time right now.

I have noticed the theme of irritability, blue feelings, time on our hands. I think we all know facing these things is inevitable, and that’s why we kept drinking. It’s time for us to put on our armor and take it on. Drinking is an absolutely miserable existence and a big lie. It does not contain the answers, Hope, or activity we long for. Let’s fight this. I choose sober life today. I will not drink.

Love to all today.

Good morning class. I noticed a lot of us are struggling and wanted to say that i had a hell of a time around the 2 week mark. My emotions were all over the place and i just didn't want to be here anymore. I just didn't even want to try. I was tired and sad. But i also recognized that these feelings I was having were the same ones i had before and if i acted on them i would be right back to where I keep going every time i give in to my AV. So i just said F-it! Whatever! Fine! Be sad! Be depressed! Have anxiety! I don't care! I'm not doing this again! Same story over and over, and i know i'll just end up right where i was 2 weeks ago. I'm happy to say it did pass and i do feel stronger. Each and every day we don't give in is a day closer to what were all striving for.

checking in on
Day 23 AF
Day 16 VF
I will NOT drink today.
:grouphug:

Hi folks, quick check in. Still here, still going. I forget what day I'm on now I'm no longer synced with Jan 1st. That makes today 17 days sober, minus 1 in the middle.

It's brilliant when a day goes to plan like it has for me today. I set a lot of goals and I completed them and it has left me feeling positive.

Gym - 06:30 (Weights) = DONE
Meeting - 10:00 (Long Journey - Didn't have to go - but was good that I did) = DONE
Lunch - 12:30 (with important client) = DONE
Gym - 15:00 (45 minute run on treadmill) = DONE

Happy :Dance7:

day 69. In rehab I decided that when out that I would create a private FB page for the group that were in there together. It has taken off. I created it for my accountability primarily but it is a great tool for all of us to stay connected in our journeys. I hadn't heard from one person for a while since coming back from my retreat in India. Walking to the ferry after work I had an IM msg from her and she just said I relapsed. She would also have been on day 69 today. I said that I would call her if she wanted to when I got home. She said yes. I rang her she was drunk and drinking. She was totally a different person. I obviously hadn't had any dealings with her when drunk as I met her in rehab. She said her love interest had rejected her and she started drinking on the weekend. I felt so sad for her. This apparently was her 3d rehab. She is the same age as myself and currently unemployed as she lost her job due to drinking. She was paid out so she is living on that money and its running out. This was a wake up shake up call to me. She regrets starting drinking again and said she cant stop.
It makes me more determined to stay on this sober path. I read somewhere that apparently only 5% make it to 3 months. Its small numbers and not encouraging to read but I want to be part of that 5%. Jeez I feel for her. I am getting ready for work at the back of my mind I am wondering what she is doing right now. She told me about her drinking patterns and they are from morning to night. Neat vodka. I think that she may be downing that right now. Gives me the shivers.

Hello all. May I join the club ?

I actually had my last drink on 30th December - for some reason I didn't fancy a new year's eve of drinking and thought I would get a days headstart - so 16 days alcohol free here.

A few temptations but I'm feeling pretty strong. Hope everyone's doing well.

Hey also stop in on December 2018 class to say hi cuz we lost so many in my class and it's lonely. :-)
:You_Rock_

No! He’s ours. LOL!

Why don't you jump over to January Joy?

JustTony: sharing is caring...

Red78: I'm here too! :-) Day 39

Good to see everyone doing so well. Day 15 nearly done for me. Got the urge to start exercising a few days back and I'm actually enjoying it.
My moods are up and down but better than they were when I was hung over.
No cravings at all today. Feeling good. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Good night January class (and anyone else reading).