Ha ha, Marsalie. We posted at the same time. Synchronised posting :p |
I think I need to go to a thread writing class. I unnecessarily write way too much lol |
Creeping up on 1 week Been reading & learning tons on here every night. Had a nice shower just now, scanned the tv menu & saw Halloween was on IFC. Currently on the couch with lights off/candles on. October in January tonight :) Been drinking so much water w/lemon wedges this week I have to use lip balm like 5x a day. Hope everyone is doing ok ~ keep checked in! |
I posted this in the wrong place so I'm reposting here. Don't want to lose my gold star today. :) Day 15. Worked out for the first time in forever. Trying to get my stamina at home doing spin. It's so nice to be able to workout in the afternoon or any time of day or night. I started blowing... |
Day 17 Had a good day. Went on several walks. It was cold outside but the air cleared my head. No cravings. The AV are still chatting. I wish that I could turn them off. They make me feel bad about myself. Stay strong my friends. |
I've never been a fan of dry January. D |
Paperbag, Lovely post. Thank you! Closing up day 18 and feeling really good. The reality of what the wine has cost me this time has settled in causing me to never want to drink again. It's mostly my health and spiritual growth; 2 of the most important things to cherish and nourish. I'm looking forward to February as a chance to gain sober time and become more of the woman I'm supposed to be. We can go forward hopeful; not fearful. Yes, we need to have a plan in place. My plan is to never pick up another drink and to stay away from all temptation of drinking until I get many months under my belt. Let's not give that AV one little chance to bite or take us back to the place we were in December. Remaining ever vigilant as I now how ruthless this beast can be. Good night, friends. |
Originally Posted by Zighoul
(Post 7102068)
Creeping up on 1 week Been reading & learning tons on here every night. Had a nice shower just now, scanned the tv menu & saw Halloween was on IFC. Currently on the couch with lights off/candles on. October in January tonight :) Been drinking so much water w/lemon wedges this week I have to use lip balm like 5x a day. Hope everyone is doing ok ~ keep checked in! |
Day 17 done. Pretty good day. |
Glad you had a good day LoneWolf22, enjoy reading your posts and glad to hear it. Good job everyone we are doing great |
Grateful for a sober day 17. This is the best start to a new year that I've had in twenty years. I appreciate the honesty about being concerned when the month ends, as well as the reminder Paperbag that we're not other people. It's not just the media version of try "dry January." We know what alcoholism does to us and it the "ism" part. I have to be honest too that the AV voice is getting louder, as the withdrawal symptoms are less acute. It is telling me that "I can be a sober drinker." So, I followed the advice of reading my early posts and reading about your experiences with fighting/punching the AV voice. AV did not win today and I'm not going to let it win tomorrow. Like Paperbag says, we can do this together. January is just the first step. |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 7102114)
Isn't it a fund raising thing tho, or am I confused? D |
Day 18 Yesterday was ok until I got to about 3pm. I had finished work (started at about 6am) and had completed a 150 mile round trip that encompassed two meetings with staff. I had arrived home in order to get changed and then go to the gym. I didn’t want to. I was tired. Evil Tony whispered “Go to the pub instead. Relax. You’ve done well. You’ve lost weight. You’ve had a rest. Getting fit is a long journey. It’s not a race. Be normal for goodness sake! It’s just a few drinks”... And then I verbalised it to my wife. Evil Tony now has a voice in the real world and not just in the confines of my head. “I’m tired. I don’t want to go to the gym” I whinged as I sat on the armchair in my gym gear. “I might just go to the pub. Do you want to come? We could have a meal a bit later?” I bribed. “Go to the gym Tony” my wife said. “I’ll go tomorrow” Evil Tony whined back. “Go to the gym Tony” she directed with greater purpose. “But I’m tired” Evil Tony muttered “Disappointing” she whispered as she looked at me sadly. I hauled myself from the armchair and went to the gym full of remorse that I was f****ed up in the head and couldn’t just be normal. I pretty much hated the gym session as I was just feeling so low but I got through it and then downed my protein shake - had a coffee - and went back home. Evil Tony had been defeated but not by me. By my wife. “This is not looking good” I thought as I went to bed and pulled the duvet up and over my head..... “This REALLY is not looking good” I thought as I woke up this morning and started (and finished) typing this post in bed as I lay next to my snoozing saviour of yesterday. “ I need a much, much better plan” I think as I prepare to roll out of bed quietly. JT |
Hi Tony, I think we could all, at all stages of recovery, say we need a better plan – our plans can always improve or be tweaked / adjusted. But telling yourself that “this is not good” is being hard on yourself. Rather say, “Oh, here it comes.. this was to be expected … it happens to everybody…” You had a sudden urge to go to the pub and not the gym ( totally human) You voiced that to your wife (totally human) And good for you for sharing it with her. She encouraged you to rather go to the gym and you went. ( Jaaaayyyyy! Well done) You were TIRED and most probably HUNGRY. Remember sad, angry,hungry,tired – triggers? You are doing just fine. The fact that you felt weak doesn’t mean you are weak. You didn’t give in. In fact, you fought it and came out victoriously – with the duvet over your head 😊 |
plenty of positive and thought provoking posts today. After waking up, my first thought is ‘tea’, and my second thought is now ‘SR’. I think it’s a great habit. :) |
It's almost 2 am in my part of the world. Tossed and turned for over an hour and finally gave up, got up, ate a bowl of the broccoli cheese soup I made the other day. Caved and took a sleep aid as well. I managed without it last night and was really hoping for a repeat performance. Tony I think you're being very hard on yourself. The end result was that you didn't go to the pub. Yes, your wife played a part, but that's kind of what spouses do..support each other. I'd say her support is a great part of your plan already. |
However you managed to not go to the pub, you managed to not go to the pub Tony. Thats a good thing. We all have those moments - I had many in my first year - luckily, through whatever agency, I stayed sober. Also a good thing is you know for sure now that you're on somewhat shaky mental ground right now. This is an opportunity to double down and make the outcome different this time :) Its also an opportunity to read some success stories. Reassure yourself the goal is possible. I recommend our Stories of Recovery forum :) https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/ D |
Start of Day fooooouuuuurrrrr!!! Nothing much to say. Slightly agitated today but apart from that all is good :) Wishing you all a good day :grouphug: |
good start LW :) D |
18 days down, day 19 has started! Last night I had my second drinking dream and like the first it was rather disturbing. I remember thinking (in the dream) "how the heck did this happen?" My relief on waking was palpable. Work has been insanely stressful, to the point where I only am able to focus about 4 hrs a day. Part of this is my boss' fault and he knows I'm not happy with having to keep his group from falling into the muck because he didn't listen to me earlier. I'm doing the most important parts of his and my job and letting him figure out how to get the rest done. Even his boss recognizes the issue and has started to come straight to me. It's a nice ego boost but more stress. But despite that, I successfully avoid liquor stores and the beer & wine aisle at the grocery. Looking forward to the big ONE NINE! |
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