Hi guys. Running around with appointments and errands. Packing and more of the same tomorrow.

Sorry you are still low, Briar. At least you seem self aware. That can be half the battle.

Phone is being weird so I cannot thank things, but read everything. My kids still make a mess. I actually made them clean today! Some vacuuming, a bit of bathroom cleaning. My son is a messy eater, dropper, dripper and wipes hands on his shirt! Oy!

Glad you had a better day, V.

Thank you for sharing that Leigh. I know that no one on the site is infallible, yet there are are several members (including you) that I watch closely so that I can learn from your successes. I see common ways of framing things....past, present, and future that I strive to emulate. Getting a glimpse into the feelings you posted above keeps me mindful of the serious nature of my past reality, but I've noticed that you and others don't seem to linger in that mindset. Recognizing the way that I want my thoughts to be is getting easier....getting my mind to cooperate is taking more time that I had hoped! Not giving up though. :)

Phoebe, almost time for your beach trip. Good stuff. Post a pic of how the beach is up there if you can. The Chicago trip sounds really great too.

Conquest....our trip wrapped up nicely. All three kiddos have colds that started the day before we left though. Late one evening we went over to Gantry Plaza Park just across the east river in Queens so that we could take in the view of Manhattan. It was very difficult to be there with my son knowing that I won't be there in that big place with him if he needs me. It scares me. I suggested that he stay home and get more education behind him....at least another year. He didn't take me up on it. Anyway, it's a beautiful view if you ever get the chance. This is my son and me.

Great picture, Mark!

Great shot Mark. I wish you and your son the best.

I love the pic! And I hope the cold bugs blow through quickly for the family. Some good rest at home should help. And who knows? Your son may just need to roll the idea of staying home around a bit. I'm glad yall had a good time. It looks like a very memorable week.

Watching 22 Jumpstreet, so funny. How's everyone else tonight?

That's a great pic, Mark. You're a good dad, and he'll make his way in the world well with your teachings. Good luck transitioning back to work.

Conquest - I heard that's a funny movie. I need to remember to watch it. I keep forgetting about it, but I want to see it, and I have it on Comcast. I'm actually figuring out how to get Comcast on my phone so I can watch stuff that way. That would be cool.

Arbor - I hear you on the ridiculous amount of toys. Mine has a massive herd of My Little Ponies and no fewer than one trillion stuffed animals. And puzzles. Oh god, the puzzles. At one point, she demonstrated a rather remarkable aptitude for puzzles. My husband took this as a sign that she was exceptionally gifted and proceeded to buy her at least 50 wooden puzzles which she played with for all of two weeks. Now I find rogue puzzle pieces absolutely everywhere.

Thanks for all the encouragement. I'm feeling a lot better this evening. I had a walk and actually cooked a real dinner. I haven't done that in at least a week. Just taking it one step at a time tonight as things get overwhelming fast, but I'm making it work. Time for a quick shower and then bed.

Goodnight everyone.

Morning gang,

Glad to get the first day back to work behind me....I'm already looking forward to the weekend. I mentioned going to the AA meeting in New York. I'm not sure that it's for me,....SR seems my best approach and I'm completely spoiled to the convenience of it. I'll reevaluate my whole approach in a couple of months though, I don't want to completely rule out something that seems to help so many.

Time to get back to my normal schedule, so gym time it is....

Wishing all the best day.

Yes, we all need to decide what works for us...I love AA, to a point. And then I feel like I am in a cult. Which I don't like. What works for me right now is staying very close to this group. We care about each other, and we understand each other pretty well...we can be honest, and we know our little group is there to help us all through whatever is going on. That is priceless to me.

I dislike the c word with regards AA.

There are so many varied opinions within AA, it must be the most lackadaisically run cult in the world....

D

I didn't say it is a cult. I don't mean that at all...it just feels too stringent for me is all. Sigh.
AA is wonderful. Has lots of amazing points.

Dee ~ if I annoyed you, I didn't mean to. Really.

That's where I'm completely different. I've been using this site for almost two years now and can't seem to give it up without a slip every now and then. It's clear that it's more than just giving up the drink sitting at home with a bowl of ice cream. I honestly believe it's about rediscovery spiritually. AA claims to provide that but I'd be looking for something to do even deeper. A quest in the Himalayas to become a Buddhist monk or something. I dunno! My life right now only allows for so much. It's work and taking care of the kids. And I'm generally pretty happy with that.

God morning, beautiful Octsobers.

Great pic, Mark. Sending prayersvthat your son's NYC experience is a positive one.

Sending love to all.

Be back later.

Hi all. I got sober for ten months last year and it was the greatest ten months of my life. Between then and now, I have lost a great grandma, an ex boyfriend, and two of my very best friends. I was crushed and I caved. Picked up the bottle and the adderall heavier than ever before. It was if I was trying to make up for 10 moths alcohol and substance free...here I am, back again. I want my lost loved ones to be proud and I'm ready to try my journey once more. Thanks in advance for the support. This forum really helped me on my last journey to the sober life. 👣💁🏻🙋🏻

Hi Breezy, welcome!

V - I think a lot of people share that perception of AA. I've used that word myself, though you and Dee are both right - there's a lot more to it, and in some ways it's pretty malleable. I have my own issues with it and feel it's not for me, but it does have its merits.

Today is starting off well, and I'm determined for it to be a good day. No plans other than work, walk, cook dinner, and stay sober, but simple days are plenty good.

I hope everyone has a good day.

Hi Arbor. I sent you a PM. There is a member here that I know from another group who has had a great recovery using meditation, Buddhist principles and AA. And, like so many people here, he is really kind and I bet would be happy to share some of his strategies.

Hi Breezy! Welcome!

I've not tried AA. I have wanted to, and would probably prefer a women's group, or use it to make sober friends. Not sure I could ever buy into the spirituality side of it, as I have my own values there. I feel pretty solid in that. My greatest worry is the confidentiality side of things. I have known a member who causally discussed who he would see there. That would not work in my community. If I went farther, then, it defeats the purpose of making new friends, locally.

I feel like I need friends! To be busy with people who don't need to go have drinks for every gathering. People I know are not heavy drinkers, for the most part, but it often involves grabbing a drink if people get together. Even if it is a movie, it is a drink before or after.

I do have friends far away, the few I know through another group. Two do not drink at all, and one had a drink when we met, but I have never had a drink with her, and have said I avoid it. So, that is great! But they are all far away, like really far! Iowa, Minnesota, NY, Maryland.

I need local, sober friendships. Hoping if we get a dog, maybe I will make friends out walking the dog, lol. And, when school starts, I need to go volunteer somewhere. Correction. I need to go volunteer somewhere besides my childrens' schools, somewhere with other adults.

Hey Phoebe...have you ever considered getting a part time job or something? Most people meet people through work. I'm not sure if your schedule allows, but something to think about.

Welcome, br33zy!!!!

I completely agree with this for me personally. I have felt lacking in the spirituality department for a long long time. Between the demands of work and kids, I got lost somewhere along the way I guess. Last June, I decided to do the 'Daniel' fast, which I had been told can help some to regain their focus and it was pretty popular around here. Part of the fast is to define why you're doing it. My purpose was to get to the point that I felt that there was a spiritual entity out there that cared about me personally..., that I mattered, not for what someone could get from me.

Well I got NOTHING from the fast and was very disappointed and despondent. Looking back, I now know that I was going through withdrawals and it wasn't a time to be expecting much. What followed was the heaviest drinking ever. So by October I was here on SR. I decided to give myself a solid year of sobriety before I get more aggressive on becoming spiritually grounded again. I just don't want to be disappointed again and it worries me a little to even try again in that area. I have a better chance now though.....we shall see.

It's the everyday American life, right? We all want more out of it. My father says, "You'll only get so far in life without religion." If there's a bigger picture in what we're looking for its gotta be spiritual. Problem is how do "I" get there? How do I believe? You can't force someone to believe. I was when I was a kid and I never got it.

It ain't no Himalayas, but it'll do for now. Thanks Conquest!



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