Class of October 2014 Part 17
 

Continues from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-16-a-21.html

D

Good morning Dee. :hug:

Hope you feel better Venus.

Thank you. ♥
(This is worse than any hangover I ever had. Blech).

Morning V. Rest up.

D

That must be petty bad then V. So sorry. Feel better soon!

Sorry for being whingy...I think it's just because I worked with this yesterday. It kind of knocked me out. I had to though, because I knew the weather was going to be to awful today to walk. I should be much better by tomorrow.

No worries V. :) Like I said it must be pretty bad. If your hangovers were anything like mine used to be that's pretty scary.

I could go on about how much of a struggle today was too. All I wanted was to feel the joy I used to feel when I drank. Seeing others today enjoying their beverages wasn't very relaxing for me. Maybe it's the lack of quality sleep now. I dunno. I don't want to start doubting sobriety again. Lifes a fricken seesaw over here.

Is it that you are doubting sobriety Arbor love?
I don't doubt that this is the only path for me, but I still get a bit tense when others are partying all around me...there's still the little voice that says I wish I could do that...but I can't. If I pick up a drink again, I have no idea how I will ever stop again.

Oh yeah. There's a part of me that still says I can do it. Do it every now and then. It's BS I know. My family drinks a lot. The people I know drink a lot and get away with it. It's not right, but whatever. Glad I'm home here on SR. Social events are not what they are all cracked up to be anymore. But I'm fine. Made it through the holiday clean and sober. Time to maybe sleep it off and start anew tomorrow. 👍

Thanks for asking sweet V! :hugs:

V I'm so sorry you haven't been feeling well. I hope you can get some rest.

And Arbor I'm sorry you're feeling the temptation. Holidays are hard. And having a new baby is REALLY hard. But drinking is not a good way to take care of yourself and get rid of stress. Just makes it worse. But you know that. Let's have a cup of tea. I'm in for some genmaicha, my favorite.

I'm having a weird day myself. Anxious, just generally feeling like something has gone wrong when nothing has. Like I'm worrying about something but don't know what it is. Just kinda wandering around the house trying to figure out what I'm missing. But I know it's just me, so I'm using the restless energy to get chores done, and I've been quite productive. I'd take some of my anxiety meds, but they make me real hungry and totally busted my weight loss situation last week (up 2 pounds, rrrr!!!), so I'm only taking them if I must. I can tolerate it today.

Dinner tonight is a culinary masterpiece of salt and pepper chicken, frozen veggies, and rice pilaf from a box. Pairs nicely with tap water. Mmm.

(((Briar))) ♥

Maybe the breathing exercise Dee posted will help a little?

Breathing

And I will take my own advice here, because I am very anxious today too.
I feel guilty, like having a tummy bug is my own fault? That's just nuts.

We'll get there gang. I think it's absolutely normal to be a bit wistful at times. Especially holidays. But for me, the idealized drinking situation I desire does not at all add up to my reality. I know that for a fact yet still hear the siren song.

And lack of good rest doesn't help in your situation Arbor. Infants are a blessing, but good rest is too! Hope you can wrap up this weekend with a good night's sleep.

Hope you feel better soon V.....tummy trouble is no fun.

Briar, your dinner sounds good to me.

USA 5-2, pretty fun game to watch

Sorry you're under the weather Venus. I hope you're feeling much better very soon. Those tummy bugs are miserable.

Happy dancin because this awesome, booze-free, holiday weekend is coming to a triumphant close. I'm exhausted and ready for bed before the moon is out. And I'm totally ok with that.
Gnight all! Way to kick these cravings to the curb!

Yeah thanks everyone. Looks like we did some good here this weekend. Great way to end my day. :)

V I totally get feeling guilty for being sick. I always feel that way. Makes no sense.

I also understand feeling like I can drink just for a little while. I know how I am, I will drink constantly for days, weeks, but my AV says the following:

1) it wasn't that bad.
2) it's worth losing control.
3) I've been through treatment, so now I know how to quit again.

Lunacy.

Yeah it's all AV and I'm aware of it. Which is great and all. It's just sometimes I feel like the joy has been wiped from my face. I remember that post Mark wrote a while back about feeling emotionless. That drink was my spark for a long time and now it's gone. Still recovering from that.

I think it's a lot to do with serotonin levels Arbor...it takes a while for our bodies/brains to find their way back. We can get that high naturally. We need to be patient. And we need to believe that it will all feel better. :hug:

The difference between that chemically induced spark and real joy is like black and white to technicolour arbor - don't lose hope :)

D

Great metaphor Dee!