what about addiction annoys you or is crazy making
 

just to name a few things:

lies, stealing and the disappearing acts

i dreaded his paydays

empty pens

couldn't keep choreboys

anybody else?

trying to figure out the why's and how's behind my ah's behavior.

Circular conversations and backward logic.

Proclamations of quitting 'tomorrow'...it's always 'tomorrow' never 'today.'

Bottle caps...damn bottle caps. I found them everywhere....still do. I think they multiply on their own.

No guarantees

EVERYTHING!! Don't know if I could pick just a "few"

When I suspected him of using, and would confront him, he would always say "It's not what you think". I would then ask, then what is it, and he really never seemed to have an answer. DENIAL!

Not answering the cell and when she did she would always have a reason such as my phone was dead, on the charger, on vibrate, etc. Not following through on the promises. Now I realize that those are just symptoms of the disease. Marle

inability to count on them or anything they say. Even simple things like being over "right after work". I hated her saying she'd be over at such and such a time, or cook diner, and then not show up, or be an hour late.

The decpetion... "I was busy", "I have erans to run" and never a time where it was substantiied as to what she was actually doing.

The twisitng of reality and shunning her responsiibity - she's no show, or be real late. Then when I go upset I was "over-reacting" and it was my fault sge decided to leave because she "didn't want to fight."

- texts instead of real verbal comunication...
- avoidance in general

"lost" money

going to the store for cigarettes... comes back in a few days

weird tears in my aluminum foil.... could always tell when he'd been smoking meth...
he never could just tear off a whole piece and "hide" it

"short" paychecks.... always had a reason boss didn't pay enough (he was in construction)... not sure if he was laying out, borrowing against next weeks pay, etc..
probably both.

"missing in action" on important family stuff... kids birthdays, ballgames, etc.

"Jailhouse religion".... always got religion in jail and rehab.... left God there when
he got out.

i hated voice mail until the phone got sold, pawn or whatever.

my car missing for sometimes days at a time.

Taking a hard look at myself.... The lies that were part of a systematic belief system that kept me in denial so I could keep on using.

the lies

not following through on what he said he would do--he wouldn't make plans, and if he did, he wouldn't follow through

doubting myself because he would say one thing, but do something else

The fact that they think that none of their bad behavior matters once they tell you they are in recovery. Like "recovery" erases all the destruction they have caused in the world.

That was when I was using baby. I'm not like that anymore. Don't throw the past in my face.

I call B-S on that.

What annoys me about addiction? Having it in my life.

My daughter's addiction did not annoy or make me crazy.

My own need and attempts to fix it, most certainly did.

I am saddended by her choices and the loss of trust.....perhaps the other side of the coin.

This is coming from an RA (double winner) - folks!!!!

All of the above!

I have an allergic re-action towards addiction! My reaction to it - is what annoyed me the MOST!

My character defects were through the frickin roof!

I shudder when I look back on all the crazy stuff that *I* did as a result of having addiction in my home/life.

My attempts to try to CONVINCE myself what I saw, smelled and knew was true... why didn't I believe myself?

The constant nodding off

The moodiness

The coughing.... of course it was mostly choking when I would catch him smoking and trying to pretend he wasn't.

The hiding and sneaking...

For God's sake.... just about everything. A friend asked me once, "what is it that he is doing that is annoying you so much?" My reply was, "breathing".

Enough said.

Telling me he's had "enough" of the coke. Telling everyone he's gonna give it up. Then a week later, high as a kite.

Believing everything was my fault in the beginning, cause i was too naive and new to the relationship to realise it was not me.

When he would tell me "Well you knew i was doing this when we got together, so you have no right to be angry" Which would make me more mad.

Just him being high.
The high ramblings, self importance and agression.

My reaction to all of this, and for putting up so long with it in the first place!!!

That was just to name a few. lol

~Limiya~

The lying. I've never been able to stand anyone that lies. It is a character trait I don't like in anyone, sober people or addicts.

Really, I agree with Cynical One and OutToLunch (per usual!). He was an addict long before I got involved with him, and after I learned of the depths of his problems (after about 3-4 months of dating) I chose to stay. I chose to accept his behavior. I chose to accept settling for being treated as second-best, or as a convenience. I chose to accept being the counselor, social worker, chauffeur and prison warden.

Although I still have no regrets, because I learned a lot during that period in my life. I have clarity now that I don't think I would ever have grasped had I not gone through it with him. This clarity lends itself nicely to other life situations and helps me remember that I can only control myself and my own actions/reactions to life.

Fortunately I escaped pretty much unscathed....not emotionally unscathed, of course, but I didn't have any lasting damage to my financial future, no kids together, no shared property, etc. So I consider myself pretty damn lucky.

after i think about, my reaction to his addiction is what bothered me the most. all the spy work that i set out to do almost drove me insane. my addict was doing what he wanted to do but i has no obligation to allow him to do it to me.

I agree with all of you.
It really comes down to what I allowed my addict to make me do.
The BS lies that I believed over my inner voice.
My intelligent, soft beautiful inner voice that I screamed at.
I HATE that I told her to SHUT UP. That she didn't know what she was talking about.
I hate that I doubted myself.

I hate all the spy work I did, knowing things about him that I had NO RIGHT to ever learn (provided he didn't share it with me willingly). While looking for signs of him using I would always run across private things that I felt so horrible that I found. Old emails, etc. before I was even in the picture.

And I'm w/ HelloKitty. I hate that recovery means it shouldn't hurt any more. That everything's in the past.

But I love that its given me more motivation to put ME first.
Even if its not the purest of motives for doing so, I still love having that justification because if I didn't have it I prob. wouldn't EVER pamper myself (something worth looking into w/ a therapist.. I think)

I love the motivation to succeed that horrible domestic situations gives me. I have learned so much about myself, including MY ADDICTION to broken, sick people incapable of giving me love in return.
I know that I won't always get high off of them and escape relatively unscathed.
That one time, I could really get burnt and lose my life over it.
I see for the first time that its REALLY that serious.
Addiction is 100 percent crazy making for me.

Don't know if this was said yet, but my personal favorite is not taking responsibility for the things they say and do because they were "under the influence."

Hey! You said it. You did it. Own it!

Yeah, what hate about addiction is how I lost myself. I hate how I compromised my values in order to stay with him. I hate how I didn't take action that I knew I should take, how I stayed with someone who put drugs ahead of everything, how I let distance grow between me and other loved ones, how I followed along every time he promised THIS time would be different. Then how I became so angry, hostile, suspicious, closed to others.

I all comes down to not being true to myself. I wish I had taken action LONG ago.

Thank you for this thread teke. I know when I was a newcomer, I didn't know some of these crazy behaviors were addiction..... I learned alot here and know our newcomers can use this info. Also, a lot of good responses about recovery too, so we know we don't have to stay with a front row seat to the craziness.
We can learn how to not allow certain behaviors and put the focus back on US.

ME feeling guilty for HIS behaviour.

oh, you have no idea how much this hit home for me. even though i believe i did find out stuff i needed to know, knowing caused me so much more pain, i've been emotionally tramatized. i was always told that if you go looking under rocks, that i was bound to find something, how true and unhealthy that was for me and my family. looking back, my co dependant behavior caused almost as much damage to me and my family as did his addictive behavior. today i can take it for what it was, a lesson learned, one that i don't want to repeat.

What bothered (bothers) me most about my brother's addiction is that he only wants to talk about the important stuff when he's coming off the drugs. When he's down and out and suffering through withdrawals, THEN he wants to talk about how he misses his kids, our other brother dying, how he's lost everything and doesn't know how to get it back, etc....

Then when he gets another fix, everything is hunky-dory. He doesn't have a care in the world.

all the lies, not being able to tell whats thruth and whats not
not being able to have a normal rational conversation with him
not being able to make him understand things are not as he sees them
denial denial denial (probably the only good part in online convo is being able to keep logs and throwing them back into his face)
making up things and insisting they are true
his selfishness and ignorance

actually as a conclusion, i regret coming across him and most of all, falling inlove with him and putting all my trust and happiness into him, while he is far from being a reliable person