teke

just to name a few things:

lies, stealing and the disappearing acts

i dreaded his paydays

empty pens

couldn't keep choreboys

anybody else?

trying to figure out the why's and how's behind my ah's behavior.

ItsmeAlice

Circular conversations and backward logic.

Proclamations of quitting 'tomorrow'...it's always 'tomorrow' never 'today.'

Bottle caps...damn bottle caps. I found them everywhere....still do. I think they multiply on their own.

URMYEVERYTHING

No guarantees

wuzzled

EVERYTHING!! Don't know if I could pick just a "few"

When I suspected him of using, and would confront him, he would always say "It's not what you think". I would then ask, then what is it, and he really never seemed to have an answer. DENIAL!

marle

Not answering the cell and when she did she would always have a reason such as my phone was dead, on the charger, on vibrate, etc. Not following through on the promises. Now I realize that those are just symptoms of the disease. Marle

IPT

inability to count on them or anything they say. Even simple things like being over "right after work". I hated her saying she'd be over at such and such a time, or cook diner, and then not show up, or be an hour late.

The decpetion... "I was busy", "I have erans to run" and never a time where it was substantiied as to what she was actually doing.

The twisitng of reality and shunning her responsiibity - she's no show, or be real late. Then when I go upset I was "over-reacting" and it was my fault sge decided to leave because she "didn't want to fight."

IPT

- texts instead of real verbal comunication...
- avoidance in general

rayofsunshine

"lost" money

going to the store for cigarettes... comes back in a few days

weird tears in my aluminum foil.... could always tell when he'd been smoking meth...
he never could just tear off a whole piece and "hide" it

"short" paychecks.... always had a reason boss didn't pay enough (he was in construction)... not sure if he was laying out, borrowing against next weeks pay, etc..
probably both.

"missing in action" on important family stuff... kids birthdays, ballgames, etc.

"Jailhouse religion".... always got religion in jail and rehab.... left God there when
he got out.

teke

i hated voice mail until the phone got sold, pawn or whatever.

my car missing for sometimes days at a time.

ElegantlyWasted

Taking a hard look at myself.... The lies that were part of a systematic belief system that kept me in denial so I could keep on using.

bluebelle

the lies

not following through on what he said he would do--he wouldn't make plans, and if he did, he wouldn't follow through

doubting myself because he would say one thing, but do something else

hello-kitty

The fact that they think that none of their bad behavior matters once they tell you they are in recovery. Like "recovery" erases all the destruction they have caused in the world.

That was when I was using baby. I'm not like that anymore. Don't throw the past in my face.

I call B-S on that.

Learn2Live

What annoys me about addiction? Having it in my life.

outtolunch

My daughter's addiction did not annoy or make me crazy.

My own need and attempts to fix it, most certainly did.

I am saddended by her choices and the loss of trust.....perhaps the other side of the coin.

Abundance

This is coming from an RA (double winner) - folks!!!!

Abundance

All of the above!

I have an allergic re-action towards addiction! My reaction to it - is what annoyed me the MOST!

My character defects were through the frickin roof!

I shudder when I look back on all the crazy stuff that *I* did as a result of having addiction in my home/life.

imallright

My attempts to try to CONVINCE myself what I saw, smelled and knew was true... why didn't I believe myself?

The constant nodding off

The moodiness

The coughing.... of course it was mostly choking when I would catch him smoking and trying to pretend he wasn't.

The hiding and sneaking...

For God's sake.... just about everything. A friend asked me once, "what is it that he is doing that is annoying you so much?" My reply was, "breathing".

Enough said.

Limiya

Telling me he's had "enough" of the coke. Telling everyone he's gonna give it up. Then a week later, high as a kite.

Believing everything was my fault in the beginning, cause i was too naive and new to the relationship to realise it was not me.

When he would tell me "Well you knew i was doing this when we got together, so you have no right to be angry" Which would make me more mad.

Just him being high.
The high ramblings, self importance and agression.

My reaction to all of this, and for putting up so long with it in the first place!!!

That was just to name a few. lol

~Limiya~

STLMama

The lying. I've never been able to stand anyone that lies. It is a character trait I don't like in anyone, sober people or addicts.

truthhurts

Really, I agree with Cynical One and OutToLunch (per usual!). He was an addict long before I got involved with him, and after I learned of the depths of his problems (after about 3-4 months of dating) I chose to stay. I chose to accept his behavior. I chose to accept settling for being treated as second-best, or as a convenience. I chose to accept being the counselor, social worker, chauffeur and prison warden.

Although I still have no regrets, because I learned a lot during that period in my life. I have clarity now that I don't think I would ever have grasped had I not gone through it with him. This clarity lends itself nicely to other life situations and helps me remember that I can only control myself and my own actions/reactions to life.

Fortunately I escaped pretty much unscathed....not emotionally unscathed, of course, but I didn't have any lasting damage to my financial future, no kids together, no shared property, etc. So I consider myself pretty damn lucky.