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-   -   Help Secular People! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/156486-help-secular-people.html)

Ananda 08-27-2008 09:25 AM

Made me think zencat....well, one way i deal with the whole god thing in meetings, is try to listen to what the person is describing as the expereince rather than the words they use to describe it.

One lady in our group simply leaves the room for the lord's prayer and comes back afterwards. For me, I say something that is meaningful to me to myself but hold hands with everyone. I feel a part of with out participating in something that I find uncomfortable.

I simply leave the word god off the serinity prayer when it is said.

I have ptsd and other stuff, and my first reaction to people who disagree with me wether it is politics, religion, or what ever, is to turn things to an me vs them thing...that doesn't usually help me or the other person/s...So I am working on skills for listening and vocalizing without that right/wrong mentality that is so ingrained in my thinking.

Thanks all.

Zencat 08-27-2008 01:36 PM

Thanks for the input Ananda, I get what your saying and know to look beyond the words and get to the meaning. Early in my first attempt at recovery I had no problem with seeing past the language of description. I recognized it was how some come to believe.
Also I was moving through a strong belief in my own path then. This allowed me to be at ease with other peoples belief. Then too I would not be threatened when others disrespected my belief, I just walked on. I hope to get back to that soon.

Ananda 08-27-2008 01:58 PM

me too :(

doorknob 08-27-2008 02:13 PM

Wow, I was raised totally secular so I can't say I've had any bad experiences with religion (other than my experiences with AA/NA). I just have a very low tolerance for dogma.

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 05:03 PM

Good stuff, people. Thank you all. I don't know what I'd do without you. :) Zencat, you win the magical prize (if I can find it) for the pic. I was wondering who was going to do that first! LOL!





Originally Posted by doorknob (Post 1887472)
I don't know, Bamboozle. I think the reason things are changing in the recovery community and the treatment industry is because people are speaking out. It's not about what you say, but how you say it, IMO. I might have found recovery years ago had I been given some options.



Wow...that one really got to me...thanks, DK. That's part of the reason I posted in that particular thread. I kept thinking about secular minded newcomers getting discouraged, so I put in my own experience. I don't think I helped.

I don't know...it takes a lot to upset me, personally. I was getting upset for other people. I don't care if anyone thinks that I'm intellectualizing or avoiding or in denial...that's only their opinions. I'm confident enough in myself, but maybe some newbies out there don't need to be hearing that when they see those things. What can you do? Peace, peeps!

doorknob 08-27-2008 05:36 PM

Yeah, man. I've gone home from a few AA meetings crying. I can remember (actually, I can't forget) going to one after getting out of a 21 day inpatient treatment program in that town that was based on Choice Theory. Well, as part of my introduction to the group I talked about it, as well as the LifeRing online meetings I was doing. Well, next an oldtimer shared about how Choice Theory was crap, blah, blah and I tried to defend myself the best I could (with about 60 days of sobriety that I was hanging on to by a thread). A couple of other people jumped in and they were about to hold a group conscience to kick me out, but I left and then broke down. I went home and wrote a rap that was like Emimem meets The Orange Papers. I relapsed a couple of days later and posted an email to the LifeRing Email List (the one the 'Keepers' are from) entitled something like "Blowing Chunks and Still Hating AA." It was pretty pathetic and wasn't one of my better moments. I used to not care what people believed in.. now I have fish parodies all over my car. I guess that's something I'm going to have to get over someday. Anyway, there's a little bit about me for ya!

windysan 08-27-2008 05:47 PM

People are in meetings and where there's people there's drama and where there's drama there's danger. For me, anyways.

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 06:46 PM

Windy, I hear ya...


Wow...DK...I don't know what to say...except that's why I don't do groups. I admit, I've never been to AA, but knowing how I am and hearing the horror stories from other secular people, I don't even want to risk putting myself in a potentially dangerous situation like that. If I had been in your shoes, I would have relapsed immediately after I'd left. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Ananda 08-27-2008 06:50 PM

I don't believe in god, but I go to AA and it has been a postivie for me most of the time. Wasn't always that way...somewhat dependent on time and place and people...and people change including me.

Alot of other ways to get sober secular exsist and i think thats great and use any ways of staying sober that i find and that work for me.

Not wanting to horn in on a thread, but just thought it might be a good idea to mention that my time in AA as a non-god person has been overall positive this time.

:ghug

doorknob 08-27-2008 07:02 PM

Bamboozle, do you live anywhere near Morgantown?

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 07:12 PM

Close enough DK...I won't say where I am now...but pretty good guess. I used to live in Morgantown for quite a while, but no longer.

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 07:15 PM


Originally Posted by ananda (Post 1888288)
Not wanting to horn in on a thread, but just thought it might be a good idea to mention that my time in AA as a non-god person has been overall positive this time.



Nah, you're not horning in on a thread...you are part of the discussion. :)


Thank you, ananda. Yeah, some people have had quite positive experiences, but I can be a bit of a firecracker, so I'm not going to risk it. ;)

doorknob 08-27-2008 07:17 PM

Well, you're a lucky SOB!

Morgantown Wednesday
7:00 PM Unitarian Universalist Church 3 109
............................................... Address: 429 Warrick St.
.................................................. Focus: How was your week?
.................................................. .. Note: Alternate contact phone: 304-685-2133
.................................................. ... Map:
*****! Maps, Driving Directions, and Traffic
................................................. Contact:
Robert Bradley Phone:
304-291-8033 Email: [email protected]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Morgantown Wednesday
7:00 PM Unitarian Universalist Church 3 109
............................................... Address: 429 Warrick St.
.................................................. Focus: How was your week?
.................................................. .. Note: Alternate contact phone: 304-685-2133
.................................................. ... Map:
*****! Maps, Driving Directions, and Traffic
................................................. Contact:
Robert Bradley Phone:
304-291-8033 Email: [email protected]

General Information About LifeRing Meetings

Robert Bradley is really cool. He'll remember me from the LifeRing Email list I think.

doorknob 08-27-2008 07:23 PM

I'm not sure why they have Wednesday listed twice.. just realized that.

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 07:26 PM

Thanks for the info. Are these meetings weekly throughout the year? As soon as I get a car it'll be an option.

doorknob 08-27-2008 07:27 PM

I posted about LifeRing today:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1887526

doorknob 08-27-2008 07:28 PM


Originally Posted by Bamboozle (Post 1888338)
Thanks for the info. Are these meetings weekly throughout the year? As soon as I get a car it'll be an option.

Yeah man, give Itchy (Robert) a call. He might even be able to find you a ride.

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 07:34 PM

I might live a little TOO far away for him to find me a ride (about 1.5 hours--I'm willing to do it myself whenever I get mobile--probably sometime next year). I'll check out the website in the mean time. Thanks, DK! :)

doorknob 08-27-2008 07:56 PM

You bet! I'm off to karaoke and my gf is meeting some members of a band for a possible singing job. I'll catch y'all later!

Bamboozle 08-27-2008 08:04 PM

Have fun! :)


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