Alone and scared, I don't want to drink anymore
 

I feel like I am going to die from alcohol abuse. I couldn't go to work today and I'm praying I don't get fired. I'm very sick and need help.

I've been where you are now :( it's pure hell.
Sorry you are going through this but know that you can stop the vicious cycle and actually become happy. If I did, you can.
First step, don't drink. Seek help, professional help or AA, anything.
I couldn't do it on my own.
Strength to you hun xx

Hello and welcome.
I ended up alone and afraid, too. I was very ill. Please seek medical attention if you feel too bad.
I know all to well the fear and anxiety that wanting to quit but can't brings.
I needed help, too. After I felt well enough, after my last binge, I went to AA and came here.
I found people who I can relate to.
I feel so bad for you because I've been there. But trust me, if you don't pick up that next drink, things will get better.
I wish you the best and am sending good vibes your way.

Glad to meet you, LuLu. I know it will help you to be here with us. We all understand what you're going through.

I drank 30 yrs. What was once fun & an escape from troubles became a necessity. In the end I was drinking all day - with a ruined life. It took me a long time to admit that once the first drink was in my system - anything could happen. I put myself in danger many times - always insisting I could control my drinking if I used enough willpower. The day I finally admitted I could never touch a drop again, was the day I began to get free. Here's where your misery can end.

Lulu,
You don't ever have to feel like this again. So many of us were scared. Given some sober time life is much brighter. We are here for you.

Welcome LLB - I know it's scary but you're not alone - you'll find a lot of support and encouragement here :)

D

Welcome to SR -- we've all been in your boat. I'm 7 days sober today. I stopped cold turkey after 10 years of heavy daily drinking. You can too!

Tell us more ...

Most of us have been right where you are. Just manage not to drink today. Worry about tomorrow when it gets here. We're pulling for you. Glad you're here.

You're definitely not alone! If you ever need to just talk to someone, feel free to PM me. I've been where you are and I know the feelings you have. I'm still working at this recovery thing too and I definitely get it. Seriously, send me a PM if you need to chat with someone. Otherwise, everyone here is amazingly supportive. You'll always find help here, seems like any time of day, no matter what!

Hi! Glad you found SR, it's helped to save my life!
Sending you Love, Hugs, and Understanding!
:)

Welcome to the family. :) You are not alone anymore, we are here with you, in spirit, if nothing else. :hug: I hope our support can help you get sober for good. :)

Welcome! U are not alone, we are all here for you.

Welcome! This too shall pass.

Welcome LuLu. I'm so glad you are here, and you are not alone....we have all been in the same position, and truly understand how awful it feels. I was just there on Sunday/Monday. I missed work, the anxiety was more than I could handle, and I came here and started posting. Then I decided to finally tell my doctor that I was struggling, being honest and that helped. If you feel withdrawals or anything hurting you, please don't hesitate to seek medical help. And if you feel like taking a drink, post here first! Lots of support here. You can get thru this!

your in the right place LLB. Lots of wisdom to be gleaned here. Stay vigilant and close to the forums. We are here to help. Reach out anytime of the day or night and before you take that first drink.

:c009:

Welcome to SR LuLu...you made the right decision by coming here. I know I did!

perhaps see a doc.

I was exactly where you are 2 weeks ago. Except I had missed 4 days of work over a 2 week period. Mainly because I'd get up all fired up to go to work then think what a great idea it would be to have a morning shot of whiskey or gin while getting ready. Well, after that 1 shot, my mind would start to tell me a totally different story; how I couldn't possibly drive to Work, better to stay and 'work from home' (read more drinking), to call in sick, etc. But on that fateful morning I was literally feeling so sick, dry heaving every 15 minutes, couldn't keep anything down and I decided to seek help. Pick yourself up, LLB, and get help.

Welcome to SR. I'm sorry for what brings you here, but glad you found us. There is lots of help out there if you've decided that you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and want to learn to like, and eventually love yourself again.

There are so many of us here who know exactly how you feel at the moment. Those conflicting feelings about alcohol. Partly i wanted to ditch it for good, knowing that it was affecting things in my life badly, but at the same time I was petrified about filling the void it would leave if it was taken away. And who I would be without it. I'm so thankful today that folks here and at AA helped me to lean into my fears and do it anyway. Life is so, so , so much better without alcohol in it.

I hope you come back today, and continue to read and post, and that you reach out for support in ditching alcohol.

BB

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this pain. I've been there more times than I care to count. The one positive thing you can look at right now is - you can end this hell if you want sobriety bad enough. *HUGS*

Welcome Lulu, you have landed on safe ground here on SR. You no longer need to live your life this way, you can find freedom from alcohol, as huge numbers of us here have.

Please keep posting, reading, ask questions. There are so many hands open here on SR, offering to lead and guide you towards an alcohol-free life.

YOU can DO this, stop drinking, for good, feel healthy and free from addiction!

and of course- welcome. Lots of support.

Believe me when I tell you I have been there and done that. :grouphug:

Also believe me when I tell you it gets better, but it will take effort by you to make it happen. I waited 25 years to wake up one morning and discover God had miracled away my desire for drink overnight.

It never happened.

But when I worked for it things got a lot better.

Help is available. Reach out for it. What's your next step?

I had to go to Urgent Care today for IV liquids, I was so dehydrated and sick. Brushing my teeth I started gagging and realized that this madness has to stop. The last drink was Tuesday, and emptied the tequila down the sink. I truly am physically alone and very sad all the time. I started drinking before work too and then continued throughout the day, trying to maintain normalcy. Someone had to have known at one point or another. But that is the least of my worries. I moved here to Texas over a year ago all alone and left California I think because I was blaming everything that was happening in my life on others. I lost family members, and I only have one friend out here. I have located an AA place and plan to force myself to go, to meet people who can help and be a friend. I'm very sad right now and I don't want to cry, but cannot help it. I'm so lonely it is unbearable at times. Thanks for all the posts.

:hug:

Ha! Yes. I too have always hoped to wake up and find that God has taken away my wanting to drink. Incidentally, the one time I 'naturally' started to feel my body and mind reject alcohol was when I conceived. Before getting the positive test results, though (I didn't think that I could possibly be pregnant - long story), I was ecstatic that magically, my desire to drink alcohol had gone away. Nope. Doesn't work that way. It was an effect from the pregnancy. As soon as I was past that, I went quickly back to my drinking ways.

I'm sorry for how you're feeling, LLB. Just take it one day at a time and don't drink. That's what I did at the beginning. I was sick for 2 full days and started feeling better on the 3rd. My doc also gave me some meds to help with the withdrawal and something to uplift my mood (an anti-depressant). Then turned out I had elevated liver values so he later gave me something for that as well. I haven't drank since. I never want to go back to feeling the way I did that dreadful (but also hopeful) Tuesday morning a couple of weeks ago. Hang in there and everything will soon start to feel lighter and brighter. You can do this.

Good on you for finding the details of your nearest AA. It was the best thing I ever did for myself to go along and learn from people who had walked before me, and allow myself to feel their compassion and genuine concern and love for a fellow alcoholic who was struggling. It took me a while to open up completely when I did go, but just knowing they were there for me helped enormously, and when I was ready to get honest and let them help me properly I gained some amazing friends plus a wonderful teacher in my sponsor.

At your first meeting you won't have to do or say anything. You can just sit and let it wash over you. At least for that hour or so you will, be safe and not drinking. I found my first meetings very emotional - just listening to people who seemed to feel the same as me and had experiences similar to mine, when I'd always felt a bit alien I suppose. It was a bit overwhelming, and this is quite common, so take some tissues with you just in case. Let us know how you get on when you go.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
:grouphug:

I hope you get the help you need LuLu, it sounds like your situation is pretty serious. You can get out of this hole. Wishing you the best.

That sounds pretty rough Lulu - how are you going now?

D