Please don't panic.The first step is seeing the problem.I have been where you are.The forums here are great.AA is better if you can find a meeting.

Please get well Lulu, You are the first friend I had in a couple of years.And I first met you today :)

Thanks! I'm glad we had the chance to chat. You've got me looking at the map now...checking out the arctic circle, northern lights, tiny cities in places I've never heard of before. I'm in the Class of October 2017 Support Thread pt. 2 if you want to join in...

Don't let my subject title fool you. I started this thread back in April when I was a HOT MESS. I'm better now being sober and thinking with some clarity. I did have a hiccup along the way tho...

congrats on day 10 Lulu :)

D

Lulu, Day 11 now? Yeah!! I too have valued your friendship. It was especially helpful early on last spring. I’m glad you are sober and working to develop new interests, and skills. Blessings my friend!

Dee is right - "Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you made. If you want a different result, make a different choice". I'm back to square one again. It was in a split second with no thought that I had wine a dinner. This is most discouraging when I was doing so good. I'm a firm believer that posting and reading here everyday is crucial. The first day I missed SR is when this happened...and without hesitation. It was so swift I had no time to even say no. I've got a pit in my stomach and my chest feels empty. I want to cry, but I just don't want to cry about this and give it justice. This is so confusing...as I know I'm so much happier and stronger when I'm on the right path. And then crash and fail all over again. This is all so messed up. I'm so disappointed in myself...

You've haven't lost the sober time you built Lulu--it has showed you that
not only can you stay sober, but that life feels better that way.

Dust yourself off and climb back on the wagon.
Plenty of room and good company :grouphug:

I’m sorry that happened LuLu! But don’t spend too much time there. Do you have a plan? Strengthen your plan so you know what to do. I too spent everyday posting here for my first 90 days. I had to keep my perspective straight continually, and even then it took me a few tries. I just know your confidence and self esteem are so much higher when sober. Press forward and being here is very helpful. :-)

On day 12 again. Feeling more in tune with staying sober for "the next 24 hours"; "one day at a time" than thinking quitting forever. I look back at all the wasted days of delving into way too much about negative nothing thoughts. This last withdrawal was vicious and extremely painful. Deadening migraine and shear manic-panic. But this recovery has been good. I'm the most at peace and handling my life in the moment. The only way to mess this feeling up is another drink. From April to today I tripped twice, but the "I don't want to drink anymore" has turned into "I will not drink today"...and it seems to be a good strategy. This is what I think now....and I hope this is not a fleeting moment.

Third 'day 13'. I've read through my thread once again. This quote from Hevyn back in April pretty much sums things up. I don't want another day of misery, so today I won't drink a drop.

Lulu!! I’m glad to hear from you!! Keep fighting, you will get free! Being here or at AA or someplace with others committed to sobriety is important. Getting sober alone is very hard, but success happens when you keep your head on straight and for me that meant being on SR. Still does.....I guess that is why I’m still here. Being around others keeps my attitude right. Exercise helps my depression symptoms a lot. Certainly quitting alcohol made me a lot more stable that way. Inhave a lot less manic ups and downs. You’re a beautiful person and you will bloom beautifully as sober time goes by! I’m glad you are here.

This is certainly challenging.

You aren't alone...... Go to the hospital. I know how you're feeling....go get some help. They'll get you through the night at least. With some Ativan. Calms your nerves....relaxes you....then they'll see if you need any other medical help from there. Maybe you should look into rehab. In-patient. I'm here for you. My name is Erik. I've been exactly where you are right now.... I wish I could help you more. Don't try to withdrawal on your own.... Okay?? Please....

LuluBread..... how are you today ?

Day 7, again...for the third time. Day 1-3 were bad, loaded with panic and anxiety. Day 6 I felt extremely tired and fatigued. Today, starting to feel the edge dissipating. Got the alcohol gut....really bad. Been working out this time around. Seems to put me in better spirits a bit. Just an FYI, I began this thread back in 2017. Got some good sober months in twice, each time thinking I could have that one glass of wine with dinner. It just cannot happen without getting sucked into weeks or months of daily non-stop drinking. So, I am convinced by experience that trying to be a "normal" drinker will never happen for me. The anxiety and panic....and the destruction along the way from alcohol is just not worth that one glass of wine that I think I can drink and get away with it without consequences.

Yup, I was coming up to four years sober and thought I could go and have some beer like a normal person. Two years later I am on day 8 - I find it quite amazing how long I can kid myself I will definitely give up 'tomorrow' :)

We can do this Lulu!

True acceptance of the impossibility of "just one or two" seems to be the common theme around here for successfully quitting drinking. Sometimes, I think of it as a lifetime limit: I've had my share, actually more than my share, of alcohol, thanks. I'm full now.

Hi LuluBread!
With each relapse the relapses get worse. More difficult to deal with. So work hard to make sure this is the last one! Good luck!

W.

Lulu you can do this I know it. hold this great group tight. scream here and you will be heard. hugs and prayers ardy

Beautifully put, Arpeggioh. That's it exactly.

Yes, that is it. :)

I agree.

What is uplifting is that feeling when you don’t drink and the bottle doesn’t win. A day, an evening, an event, a stressor.... facing it and leaving the bottle behind.

I keep coming back to your message here. Apparently since my first post, that "just one or two" got me back to day 3 again. 2 years 7 months of on and off again since then. I'm done.

I was the same for a long time.

I now know and accept that it is the FIRST drink that does the damage and it is only the FIRST drink I have to stay away from. If I don't take the first drink I don't set off the allergy. The phenomenan of craving. Which causes me to want to drink more and more and more. It is insatiable!! Hence 1 is too many, 1000 is never enough.

Welcome back x