It's great to hear that things are going so well, BBB.

Day 74 :)

We've had relatives visiting this weekend so it's been pretty hectic. They were drinking next to me on Friday and I really didn't mind. I got the initial 'ooooh that looks refreshing', but then remembered those first few sober days and how I promised myself I would never drink again, so it was no big deal.

I'm still waiting to secure something at work but it's certainly been not for want of trying. I'm still waiting to hear back from 3 interviews (which all went well), roles I can comfortably do I think.

My past time off is the main thing hindering me, so even though I'm sober, booze is still biting my ass. No other option but to keep trying and keep moving forward

B

best wishes with the 3 possibles BBB :)

D

Day 75.

Of the 3 job role possibilities I had, I got offered two of them today :) I still need to finalise some details before I know which one I will take as there may be some security access issues with one of them. (When going through security clearance for a government agency I had to disclose my MH history, so my access has still not been granted).

The ideal situation I could have hoped for in terms of being offered the roles, however, the sooner it's sorted the better as it's been a constant stress for quite a while now. My head is absolutely battered with the worrying of ins and outs that should be management's concern, not mine.

I'm keping my fingers crossed that it will be okay in the end. A few months of job stability right now would do me the world of good.

Day 77, wow they really are racking up huh?

Things have been crazy busy lately and I've been through some (and am still going through them) VERY stressful situations for anyone. But I have to be honest and say I've sailed through. I had about 3 weeks to find a new role within my company, and instead of panicking I remained calm, applied myself and got 3 job offers! I start my new role in the organisation tomorrow, so I've been handing over all my work and packing my desk to move buildings. My level of anxiety throughout this has been minimal, and I never thought I'd say that. I'm still having my moments, don't get me wrong, but it's completely manageable right now.

I need to remain on guard with the drinking, as I've noticed a few 'hey, look how well you've done, go grab a drink to celebrate' thoughts, but at the same time, I've built my life so that it is now very difficult for me to drink, even if, god forbid, I wanted to.

I'm slightly apprehensive about tomorrow, meeting lots of new people, but that's normal.

Right now I'm sitting down, after work, completely content.

Long may this continue and let me never go back to those dark times of drinking again. The transformation in me over the past 3 months has been a minor miracle.

So to anyone reading, I urge you to carry on, no matter how hard those early days, because moments like this now, no matter how brief, are moments to be treasured.

Great progress BBB :)

D

Awesome!!! Good luck with the new job.

1st day of my new job done. Very weird being in a different building and not knowing anyone at all. Good news is, the job is totally doable and doesn't seem that stresfull, once I get to grips with the systems.

My old colleagues had a suprise leaving 'do' for me this morning, which was really nice. I got cards, sweeties and...... cava!

The cava is currently sat under my desk at work. I'm definitely not bringing it home, im sure someone in the office will more than gladly take it off my hands. It didn't bother me too much having it there as I was expecting it tbh. I'll see if anyone will have it tomorrow. There's always the rubbish bin!

Home time for me now, another sober day nearly over with!

wow bringingBackB, I am on day 1 and joined yesterday, I have just read all your posts - amazing, so brave and honest. You are a insparation, thank you for sharing your experiance.

Well done on getting through all 8 pages of my ramblings! Always nice to see another brit.

Congrats on your day 1. They soon add up :)
B

Congrats B

In a complete funk today.

I thought I was all sorted and settled after finding myself a new role at work. Despite being promised the role didn't require governmental security clearance, it does. I tried to get this 18 months ago and the application is still in progress... (usually takes 3 weeks). I had to tell them about my MH and booze issues or I'd be breaking the law.

Completely fed up tbh with you. The last month at work has been so exhausting, im not sure if I have the energy to do it all over again if I can't do this job without clearance. This already made me want a drink to make it all go away. On top o that, as I was walking towards the bus station, im greeted by a woman trying to give me free samples of cider, from one of those promo tents. I could have literally punched her in the face at that point, poor girl.

Came straight home. Glad I'm sober, though such a contrast to my post yesterday ha!

I'm going to try pop out on the mountain bike tomorrow. Need to get this anger out somehow.

Sorry B hopefully itl all turn good your doing amazing you never know B it might turn out well

I'll be saying a few prayers that your security clearance goes well, BBB. You are an inspirational and courageous young man; stay strong and positive.

Mountain biking sounds like a great outlet.

Way to hold it together! I bet all this crap induces a bunch of anxiety. Hang in there and it will pass.

Stay strong B! Don't let "the man" bring you down. Work fears tend to rule my life too, I know how hard it is to put aside. Mtbing sure is a good release for anxiety.

Hope you got rid of that cava.

Day 82 (I'm having to check now as I've stopped counting days in my head).

Not a bad day at work. I've booked a week off from the 26th Oct and I can't wait! I know I've only been back full time a month but it's been hugely tiring. I think ive done well to get myself into the office every day.

My anger is much less severe, I definitely calmed down from last week over the weekend. I have to remember that what will be will be at work, I have no control over this security clearance malarkey, so what's the point stressing about it? I may yet be able to do the job without it, fingers crossed.

I'm into the walking dead tv show atm so tonight's plan is to watch some of that in bed. Just made chicken stuffed with soft cheese for dinner, was yum :)

On to another day.
B

Happy to hear that today was a good day, BBB. Your sounds delicious.

Really happy reading that B Congrats bud

Day 85.

Edging closer to 6 months.

I still feel pretty good. I'm really enjoying the stability of my routine right now. I've struggled for years with anxiety and over the past few months (especially the last month) it has almost disappeared. I'm finding on quite a regular basis now that I'm one of the must chilled out people in the office. I'm not scared of any situation right now. I know I can get through it sober. It's quite empowering.

I might have a date at the weekend :dee . My confidence suffered a lot when I broke up with my ex last year, but it's slowly starting to come back. I'm definitely spending time on my appearance now, which in turn makes me feel good. So we will see how it goes. I do get quite lonely at times (especially at my age and not drinking), so the possibility of spending some quality time with someone is very appealing. Fingers crossed.