Great job! You are walking the walk! You have surrounded yourself with support and are doing the work. I'm very proud of you. I've always talked the talk. Or I've started treatment and pulled out. You are inspiring me! Great job!

Day 8.

Its been a difficult day today but ive made it and am now tucked up in bed safe and sober.

I am staying in a hotel tonight (family occasion). Fortunately my dad (who i am sharing with) knows about my addictive behaviours and is supporting me. Absolutely no way id be here otherwise, and to be perfectly honest id rather be at home.

I had a brief moment of feeling sorry for myself seeing others drinking, but then i remembered my big plan, and how alcohol directly contradicts everything i value and want to achieve in life. Feeling better now i am back and typing it down. So thankful this place is here for me to vent. Today has been stressful though and i have to remember that an emotion is just an emotion, nothing more. It does not control me. It is time to break that instant gratification cycle my brain has learned to accept. Each time I contradict it, it will weaken.

Peace out
B

Day 9.

Feeling good today. Ive made myself so busy I've not had time to ponder on drinking. I've walked about 9 miles today!

I have to be honest, I am anxious about the next few days on 'holiday' in Scotland with my family. Not in terms of drinking as they all know what I am trying to do and are super supportive, helps that they don't drink either, but mainly because the accommodation has no wifi and I use it an awful lot in the support network I am creating here.

I can't get out of initially going, and im sure once I'm there some time away in the mountains will clear my head, but I am feeling apprehensive at the moment. I am taking boat loads of notes / support texts etc and I will have access to wifi during periods I can seek out a cafe.

If the worst comes to the worst and I am really struggling I have the back out plan of coming home early. Either way, I sure as hell won't be drinking. I am just praying I can enjoy the opportunity to clear my head in a beautiful environment, and most importantly walk..... and walk.... and walk...

Do you guys have any thoughts?

B

I would try to dedicate your energies towards something in particular. Maybe get a fitbit and run (or walk) a certain number of steps each and every day...or learn how to tie flies (fly fishing), or any other thing that your mind can obsess over.

Timothy Keller, a theologian, says that our minds are idol factories. They are always looking for something to worship. If we identify one idol, our mind will just try to find another. The key in this case, assuming what he says is true, is to fill your alcohol-idol empty space with something healthy. Don't just remove the alcohol, apply your energies and focus elsewhere.

I hope that helps.

Congrats on day 9 tbh i think your well prepared you can tell you have thought this out

Enjoy Scotland thats where my family is from

Thanks so much for the support guys.

Ron - I think that sounds like a good idea. I would like to set myself a target of walking a certain distance each day.

Got my eye on a few mountains to walk up and give myself a sense of achievement. If the weather stays nice (fingers crossed!) Then the views will be beautiful.

Thanks guys. Bedtime for me.

B

Day 10 and good evening from a 'wee bothy' in the Scottish Highlands. Absolutely amazed I can get a tiny bit of signal here so I am over the moon :) I can chat to my SR buddies! Where I am staying has a little pond with a boat so I was bobbing about on that reading SR before, was brill.

Been a good day today. Trying to take life on life's terms and not worry unnecessarily about absolutely bloody everything under the sun. Still worried about work yes, but reminding myself that I need to put my health before anything else for the forseeable future, no matter what. I am not going back to where I was mentally and physically again, don't care how good any job is, I'd rather have my health (if it came to finding another job that is).

There is no tv here which kinda sucks, so I guess tonight's plan is to catch up on my reading and also the class of June 15 thread.

And so ends another day on the sober coaster...

B

Awesome job on double digits B the scottish highlands sound really beautiful il be going scotland myself soon

Glad you have some wifi to chat & i agree about having your health

Congrats again B

Day 11

Super tiring day today! I've walked over 10 miles today through the Highlands. I definitely needed it though. Got up a bit of a mountain so I'm proud of myself for doing that. I seem very determined about things at the moment, I decided I was going to climb a mountain and I just did it, didn't stop for nothing! Tucked up in bed now doing some journalling, recovery reading and a novel too if I get chance. Overall - feeling very positive at the moment.

Still have work at the back of my mind, probably because I have to ring occupational health tomorrow. I know I am doing well but I am also very aware of the dangers of going back to a stressful environment. It's one thing being here and having 2-3 hours a day to think/ work on myself, but I will lose that when I go back. I don't ever want to go back to withdrawal again so I'm concerned. I've never been so determined to get through anything than this. I am trying not to think about it until I see the doc on Friday as I cannot change the situation, I just have to do what is honestly and genuinely best for me and my recovery. I imagine she will want to extend my note and is wanting to check how I am doing with my new meds first, that's 5 days away but my mind just whirrs away all the bloody time!

That's me done for today, night all
B

Hi BBB, the moderate to severe withdrawal is what got my attention regarding heavy drinking. I have had a few slips here and there, but nothing even remotely close to what I went through a few years ago.

Congrats on day 11 BBB :)

D

Day 12

Much more relaxing day today in the Highlands, no mountain walking that's for sure. I went shopping this morning and then spent the afternoon reading in the sun house (right on Loch Ness). It's such a beautiful place.

I managed to get some mindfulness done while I was down there, and then the RAF (air force) decided they were going to do a scramble exercise in Tornado fighter jets right above the Loch. It was amazing to see, I have never heard noise like it. When I got back to the cottage I lit a fire and cooked food for my family :)

All in all going very well. Phoned occupational health this morning so that's over and done with. On Friday I have a docs appt first thing to review me, and then a meeting with my addiction specialist in the afternoon. I should be coming home to England on wednesday, and I must admit, I cannot wait to get back to the SMART meetings. The peace and quiet here is great but I have missed that more personal connection with people.

All tucked up now and going to read until I fall asleep.l, another thing that has drastically improved since I lay shaking and dripping with sweat all night 12 days ago.

Onwards and upwards :grouphug: :dee

B

http://www.directupload.net/file/d/4...527a6o_jpg.htmI took this before for you all. Hopefully the attachment works on my phone...

http://fs2.directupload.net/images/150727/vh527a6o.jpg

Congratulations on 12 days BBB. Loch Ness sounds fascinating, give my regards to Ness ie

I know you havn't done any mountain walking today but the hiking you have done recently propably helps your recovery. In my case at least physical tiredness seems to suppress or take precedent over cravings

Thanks Saoutchik :) , the walking definitely helps as it keeps your mind busy, tires you out and gives you a sense of achievement. More planned for tomorrow!

Loch Ness!!! Thank you, that's beautiful :-)

Day 13

Very frustrated today. With myself, with my dad (cooked up for 5 days in this tiny 1 room cottage), with not having enough alone time, with everything.

But it's normal. Emotions are normal. I cannot control everything in the world and I am retraining my body to be able to deal with unpleasant emotions without running and getting hammered.

Really looking forward to getting back home tomorrow. I feel too cooked up here. Need a SMART meeting ASAP.

Certainly not thinking about drinking, just generally pissed off at life today, my brain is throwing a temper tantrum because it hasn't had its usual stress remedy for 13 days!

Positive : Delicious steak for tea and looking at the beautiful Highlands never gets boring.

I'm gonna keep on truckin'. :headbange

Day 14 done - 2 weeks sober. :)

So nice to he back home after a 10 hour drive today from the Highlands. I'm exhausted. Already in a much better mood now I'm home with all my things, and most importantly, some space! Was definitely going stir crazy in that tiny cottage.

Back to smart meetings tomorrow. Found a letter when I arrived home that I have been referred to the local mental health specialist. Have an appointment early next month. I have been waiting years for this referall, so glad it's finally happened.

Off to bed for me now, very tiring day.

B

congrats on 2 weeks :)

Congrats triple B! You are doing great!