Angie,

I've sat and read your whole thread and you are truly an inspiration. I wish I lived closer so I could give you a big squishy hug. I honestly don't think that you realise just what a lovely person you are, it really comes through in your writing.

I understand the alone times all to well as it's on my days off that my cravings are strongest.

Just a suggestion but can you volunteer somewhere on the days your husband has your son? Not only does it fill up your time, but you may meet friends and it gives that av less time to pester you.

Kamie, I am glad you posted this. Thank you. :) It's been in the back of my mind to volunteer but your post was what I needed. I have filled out my information to volunteer for the local hospice. I have a whole Saturday free and I hope they have a spot for me. If not, I was thinking about Meals on Wheels and seeing if they need me to help. :)

I got through another 3 day weekend sober. This would have been impossible earlier in the year. I know it's only 132 days since I started but I thought I was beyond help and couldn't stop for any length of time. The thoughts still come up but I can get through them. Thank you to everyone for all the support and your wonderful comments to me. I'm becoming the person that I've always wanted to be. The person who isn't perfect and can never be but who usually tries her best. I would say always tries her best but just one example, I do catch myself sometimes daydreaming at work about being on a boat with a nice cold lemonade in hand so I'm NOT trying my best then . :) Hope everyone is having a good morning/evening/night. :) :grouphug:

I have cooties :(
 

I have managed to catch a cold. I noticed a little bit of a sore throat when I woke up then at work I started to sneeze, get chills and have body aches. Was feeling fine yesterday. I stayed the whole day and won't miss any time tomorrow. It got a little chilly a few days ago in the mornings but today the high was 106. :( I think the weather got me. This was an issue at work with other people and quite a few called off saying they were sick. I don't want to miss any time off work for myself, I want to use my sick time for when my son is sick and hopefully he won't get ill. I have lysol and hand sanitizer. Normally, he is with his dad on Tuesdays but my son is with me tonight so I took some non drowsy meds and also some vitamin c. I sure hope I don't get my baby sick.

Rambling post. Sorry. Wanting a drink. Not even a stressful day at work but I got to thinking too much. The AV looks for any excuse to take a swig or 10 or 100. Just tired of thinking about alcohol all the time. I don't have my son until Sunday. I'm not letting my son down and anyone who cares about me either so I won't do it. I'm going to go home and watch Netflix and clean. If you have Netflix, then you should watch "up in the air" with George Clooney, it's good. Will hopefully watch another good movie tonight. I might cry a little at home but that's ok. Sometimes I just need to let out the loneliness. I'm looking cute again and drinking will ruin that too. Ha, just trying to lighten my mood. On to being the "fabulous" non drinker I am for another day. Well, a non drinker anyway. I'm at a restaurant eating a wonderful teriyaki chicken. When I get home, I'll try to figure out how to upload the picture. Have a good Friday.

Hang in there Angie, the feeling will pass.

(((Angie))) Sometimes I know I need to just get home and have a good cry. I wouldn't say I look forward to it, but I know it'll bring relief.

Hang in there, Angie. Crying helps me too. Tomorrow will be a new day that you get to start without a hangover! Hugs!!

Nothing wrong with a good cry, Angie!

I haven't been paying as much attention to the Newcomers forum lately as I should. I was so glad just now to see your thread still going strong!

Angie - You sound determined to stay sober. I'm proud of how far you've come! :)

I can relate to you planning to go home for a cry; my emotions were all over the place during the first year of recovery. With each passing day it gets better. What kept me going was knowing that drinking would bring me back to Day one, or worse than where I started, and just not wanting to put myself through that emotional wringer again.

Thank you all so much for your support. <3

I finally went to bed around 1:00am. Had been planning on staying up for a while longer but my body reminded me that it had been up since 5:00am. I worked overtime yesterday and the previous day. I did get a lot of cleaning in but I also watched Homefront on Netflix while doing it. A lot of the movie seemed unbelievable but it was an action movie and an enjoyable one at that. It has James Franco and Jason Statham in it.

The thought of drinking is here today but it's not a strong one. I'm getting a little tired of the thoughts but at least I'm not acting upon them. 138 days sober today. It's time that I'm a little kinder to myself. I had always planned to do something nice for myself at 90 days and I never did, was going to go for a manicure but I decided on something else just now. Just subscribed for a month of Loot Crate, and I will see what it's like. If I don't like it then I will cancel before the next one since I'm just month to month. Kind of excited about what I will get. I'm saving a lot of money by not buying alcohol anymore and this cost me less than 20 dollars because I had a coupon code.

Not too much done today. Made myself a breakfast burrito with egg and bacon then I finished a movie. These peaceful mornings just remind myself how happy I am to be sober. If I were still drinking, it will be full on now since my son isn't here. I'm so grateful I can start to respect ,myself again as a mother. He won't grow up with a mom who still drinks.

:c014:

Grateful you are getting through the days Angie. :-)

That's awesome Angie.

What's loot crate? I'm intrigued!

Gleefan. Loot Crate sends a package every month filled with either apparel, collectibles, or little gadgets. Each month is a different theme. Like July had Terminator, Transformers and Avenger things. August was Heroes theme with Legend of Zelda and Batman stuff and this month is called Summons but I do see a Homer Simpson and Supernatural things in the previews. I love things like this. It will be neat every month to see what goodies are in the box. :)

I will pick up my son around 9:30 tomorrow morning. I'm telling you, I have got to find something to do on Saturday because even though I didn't have strong cravings it was just a little too lonely and I got tired of Netflix. Maybe will call about volunteering since no one has called me back about helping at hospice. I've got to do something. He will be with his dad on Friday and Saturday now. He'll be with me the rest of the time but those other days will be the time that my mind will really want it since I will be alone. We've got to nip this in the bud as much as possible, well I've got to nip it. Ha, that always makes me think of Barney Fife. You know, nip it? lol, anyway sorry my mind wandered which it does a lot. I've also NOT DRANK ANY SODAS TODAY!!! Go me! I've only drank water with crystal light. Okay, well that's enough for now. Hope everyone is doing well. I'm doing okay, just adding to the plan so we have as much covered as possible.

I'm going to look into Loot Crate because that just sounds fun!

I know what you mean about looking for something to do to fill that time that used to be spent drinking!

Do you go to AA? I started going because it was a place I could go for an hour where drinking isn't an option. In time I found camaraderie in there, and met other people who do things that don't revolve around drinking. Since most if not all of the people I know drink, I needed the reprieve and the opportunity to meet new people, to gain a fresh perspective.

I didn't go in with a strong faith, or a religious background, or being into prayer. I felt the big book language is old-timey and sexist. And folks' interest in the 12 steps seemed strange to me. Like I said, I went because alcohol was off the table for an hour. I offered to make coffee because it gave me a reason to talk to people before or after the meeting. I took what worked and left the rest behind, as recommended by the program.

I just mention it because the support can only help you on Fridays and Saturdays, and you may eventually meet like minded people to hang out with.

Your son is lucky to have a sober mom. I know that my success during the week hinges on not drinking on the weekends. Keep up the good work!

Gleefan, you took the words right out of my mouth with regards to AA. I couldn't afford too wait until I was sure I was okay with "the God thing", I just went ahead and walked into a meeting because I needed to be amongst other people striving tho stay sober. It's a great community.
Angie if you have access to meetings I also encourage you to try it for the fellowship.

Gleefan and Upward, I have attended maybe 3 or 4 AA meetings in the past couple years. It was at a church and women only. Can I tell you something terribly embarrassing but it's funny now? I was so clueless about what to expect the first time I went. I went on the website to look up meetings and I saw in notes, chips, candles. My already freaked out mind immediately thought that it must be potato chip night and I needed to bring a candle, maybe it was by candlelight or something and people were supposed to bring that stuff. I brought my bag of Lays potato chips and a fresh linen smelling candle to my first AA meeting! LOL, thankfully I did not whisper to anyone that I brought chips and a candle. I noticed that no one else brought potato chips and there were already those candles on the table. I put my purse on top of the bag of chips right next to me and hoped no one would put two and two together about what I did. Hahahaha! In all seriousness, the women were very kind to me but I did not go back for a few months and kept drinking. They gave me a sheet with everyone's number and one of the particularly nice women underlined her's for me and said I could call anytime. I didn't though but kept that list for a long while until I shredded it about a year later.

I'm now thinking about going back to a meeting. I can't go to that one because days have changed and I now have my son that night but there are plenty of meetings on Friday and Saturday. :)

OMG that's funny! Sounds like something I would do. I was such a mess at my first couple of meetings, I had no clue what was on. :)