Alas, a new day is dawning.

Shake off the ickeys and come hang with us.

You matter here.

XO AO

Yeah 'here' with people who don't know me lol

When I read this I thought to myself this woman needs "recovery" desperately. Although sobriety is vital to recovery, recovery is actually something much more than abstinence (as I happily noticed Daytrader speak to).

In all honesty, my recovery started a few months before I put down the drink. I think I finally got tired of hating myself and being in constant whining, self pitying pain. I had been waiting so long for something or someone to come along and rescue me from my crap life. I thought God was being unfair to me. I couldn't figure out why even alcoholics (yup I thought that lol) could find love and I couldn't. Ya I was a drunk envying alcoholics with partners : )

A few things started to happen...I managed to find a wizard of a therapist. I was sent a youtube sermon from a loved one from her church that really spoke to me. I picked up a book (quite randomly.and one I push here a lot)...

One message seem to keep repeating itself...I had to make me my "home". I had to make my own interior my own refuge. I realized I wanted to "grow up and make my own way". I had to stop waiting for rescue.

I realized..really, really realized it was completely up to me. And in being my own authority (but I do have a spiritual co-pilot) I realized I need people and true connection. I realized I had to spend some time getting to know me. I eventually realized I could only do that with all my wits about me.

I realized I wanted sobriety. I wanted to grow up. I wanted to face myself and the world...as me. I work very, very, very hard on that relationship. And I need A LOT of resources to do that...I read a lot. I hang out here. I have some fantastic supportive connections.

You have to want...............you.

NuDawn, that was really profound. Thank you.

Nudawn you speak so eloquently and all you say makes so much sense. It's like you turn on a lightbulb in my head. Thank you

Whilst we do not know you we do understand what you are going through and have been there.

Spot on nuu,,
As always.
Ando :thanks

My 'recovery' started in January when I sobered up for a while - I started seing what really was my reality - my reality is so great to the outside eye - as I've said before I was a functional alcoholic so everything and more that needed done was done. But everything isn't always as it seems from the outside looking in.

I chose to drink last night - the truth is I really wanted to not give a crap! Doesn't look like I succeeded reading back....

I do give a crap - it's half the problem lol

So now you pick up the pieces and move forward. Like nuu's signature hit the reset, and GO! This is your turn to start a new without your shackles :).

Thinking about you 13. I find your posts inspirational, hope you are well.

********{NUU}}}}

eXQUISITE.

wow what a post nnud I see a lot of me in that post except I had a h who loved me but I pushed him away because I hated myself so much. would love to see the u tube sermon. thanks for that post

Hey lommey...this is it. When I watched it..I actually had to "google" the word parable. I didn't know what one was. I particularly resonated with the story of the lost sheep. I also didn't know what "Grace" was : ) Wow. And what a concept that was for the lost drunk I was.

February 3, 2013 - unedited - The Problem of Grace - Luke 15 and Lost Sheep - YouTube