Dont know why im drinking
 

But I am! Best thing is I'm on campral so probably won't even get anywhere lol stupid or what!

Thanks for the honesty! If you think you cannot quit, a trip to detox or rehab may be in order for you too...

It's not really an option for me to be honest - but thanks

13 what the hell happened?

I'm sorry 13. I drank last night. Haven't yet today.

Raider - dont say 'yet' its giving up talk before you've gave yourself a chance!

It is hard when you can't identify the trigger. I also commend you on being honest. I thought about "fading away" from SR after my slip this weekend because I was ashamed to admit my mistake, but the fact is I truly want to beat this thing.
You must truly want to beat it, too.

Well I'm guessing if I really wanted to stop drinking, I wouldn't have had five slips in 2 weeks.

Yknow I shoulda phoned my friend - I need a rant but instead I chose to drink!

Raider your still here though so you want it - you just haven't found a way that works for you yet or you've gave in too easily as is the case with me. I just gave in. For stupidness.

I gave up giving it up.

Why though? Are you happier drinking?

I'm happier not fighting...it's just a big miserable fight. I grew weary. I don't have an excuse, but I'm 54 I don't need one.

But no, I am. Not happier. Are you?

People say that to me when I keep going back to smoking. "If you really wanted to quit you would." It makes me angry because the first part of a quit is sheer torture. OK then why do I keep trying? Why do I keep putting myself through this? I DO want to quit smoking that's why I keep trying. That is why you both are still here. You Do really want sobriety otherwise you would slink away. By the way I am almost a month into a quit right now. I am using the gum, but I am not smoking. Keep going until you get it right.

Raider, I know you still want this crazy, unhealthy habit to be gone from your life. Have you gone to any meetings yet?

You don't know the full extent of what this is doing to you Raider. It takes a few months for things to start to reverse. I honestly thought I was in full blown perimenopause. I was going to see a hormone therapist it was sooooo bad. It turns out all the depression, anger, fog everything was because of the alcohol. Not like this is good for the guys but our bodies just are not able to tolerate this kind of abuse.

Damn 13, what happened?

Nothing happened - that's the point - I bust a gut getting sober and then it's just back to being took for granted! Only when I'm not drinking I notice it all the more and I'm not one to stamp my feet fussing but I made my point to my other half and it was ignored so - what's the point if nothing in the rest of my life changes - except me - I'm giving more and everyone takes more basically!

5 slips (i assume days) means also 9 green days sober on the calender ? Just sayin'

Hey 13 i'm sorry to hear it , you have sounded pritty angsty these last few days , learning how to deal with life on lifes terms and stay sober is hard and painful . I hope you chuck the drink away and go to bed . Make sure you have some water to be kind to your kidneys .

Tomorow is a new day we all get to try and deal with life again .

Be safe , m

I have come to th conclusion I can't do this by myself. I am leaving tomorrow for 3 1/2 weeks. When I get back, I will be checking detox centers. No meetings longbeach. Maybe ill fly over and pick up 13 and make him go with me!

13, tomorrow is a new day. It's unfortunate that your hubby hasn't been more supportive and kept good on his word that he'd stop if you would. But let's think about your wellbeing--have you felt felt better in the time you were sober? You are the most important person in this struggle. Just want you to take good care of yourself even if it feels like others in your household aren't noticing or aren't helping. Cyber hugs to you.

Silent - good job with the smokes!
13 - I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't even have that for an excuse

Sorry I called you a " him" 13. I know it's hard with drinking spouses. I have one too

For me it would be impossible.

come on raider and 13 do this for yourselves. new start tomorrow

Hey 13:) you posted this on a fellow newbies thread:


Yknow what we've all done things we aren't proud of but the main thing is your back and trying again. Have you got a plan this time? Things to keep you busy and away from alcohol?


I want you to ask yourself the same questions!

I do lol I could do housework and be mrs perfect housewife and mother of the year from now till doomsday I could do everything to perfection and nobody would even bat an eyelid!

I do all the time lol no one cares until I stamp my feet about something and then my problems suddenly 'the' problem what the hell! I'm not an idiot but I'm treated like one!

Hey none of us would be here if we didn't want to quit and find a way out of the hole we are digging for ourselves.

We're alcoholics. That's what we do...drink.
It's unnatural for us NOT to drink.

When we consider it a 'fight' to try and stop, we are only bare knuckling it till our next relapse.

I have given up fighting.
I've surrendered.
The fight is over.
I am an alcoholic.
I can't drink.
That's the reality.

No more fighting, no more battles.
I finally feel at peace with it.

Maybe meeting with others in person is the missing link in your quest. It's worth a try, don't you think? If you are going to a place that has any kind of meeting (and there are meetings everywhere) maybe it would be easier than going to a meeting in your home town. Please, please try. I'm mentally using all of my powers of persuasion to push you to do this (I know, I know, but it's worth a try). C'mon Raider (AND 13), you can do this!

Most natural thing in the world is for an alcoholic to drink.
Sadly many do it to the gates of insanity or death.
When you want sobriety more than anything you have ever wanted in your life, you may get down to business.
Don't leave it too late eh?
Be safe
G