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-   -   Dont know why im drinking (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/307613-dont-know-why-im-drinking.html)

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 10:40 AM

Dont know why im drinking
 
But I am! Best thing is I'm on campral so probably won't even get anywhere lol stupid or what!

Coldfusion 09-15-2013 10:43 AM

Thanks for the honesty! If you think you cannot quit, a trip to detox or rehab may be in order for you too...

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 10:47 AM

It's not really an option for me to be honest - but thanks

ImperfectlyMe 09-15-2013 10:49 AM

13 what the hell happened?

Raider 09-15-2013 10:49 AM

I'm sorry 13. I drank last night. Haven't yet today.

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 10:50 AM

Raider - dont say 'yet' its giving up talk before you've gave yourself a chance!

jesternudder 09-15-2013 10:50 AM

It is hard when you can't identify the trigger. I also commend you on being honest. I thought about "fading away" from SR after my slip this weekend because I was ashamed to admit my mistake, but the fact is I truly want to beat this thing.
You must truly want to beat it, too.

Raider 09-15-2013 10:51 AM

Well I'm guessing if I really wanted to stop drinking, I wouldn't have had five slips in 2 weeks.

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 10:52 AM

Yknow I shoulda phoned my friend - I need a rant but instead I chose to drink!

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 10:53 AM

Raider your still here though so you want it - you just haven't found a way that works for you yet or you've gave in too easily as is the case with me. I just gave in. For stupidness.

Raider 09-15-2013 10:55 AM

I gave up giving it up.

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 10:56 AM

Why though? Are you happier drinking?

Raider 09-15-2013 10:59 AM

I'm happier not fighting...it's just a big miserable fight. I grew weary. I don't have an excuse, but I'm 54 I don't need one.

But no, I am. Not happier. Are you?

silentrun 09-15-2013 11:03 AM


Originally Posted by Raider (Post 4182078)
Well I'm guessing if I really wanted to stop drinking, I wouldn't have had five slips in 2 weeks.

People say that to me when I keep going back to smoking. "If you really wanted to quit you would." It makes me angry because the first part of a quit is sheer torture. OK then why do I keep trying? Why do I keep putting myself through this? I DO want to quit smoking that's why I keep trying. That is why you both are still here. You Do really want sobriety otherwise you would slink away. By the way I am almost a month into a quit right now. I am using the gum, but I am not smoking. Keep going until you get it right.

longbeachone 09-15-2013 11:03 AM


Originally Posted by Raider (Post 4182093)
I'm happier not fighting...it's just a big miserable fight. I grew weary. I don't have an excuse, but I'm 54 I don't need one.

But no, I am. Not happier. Are you?

Raider, I know you still want this crazy, unhealthy habit to be gone from your life. Have you gone to any meetings yet?

silentrun 09-15-2013 11:09 AM


Originally Posted by Raider (Post 4182093)
I'm happier not fighting...it's just a big miserable fight. I grew weary. I don't have an excuse, but I'm 54 I don't need one.

But no, I am. Not happier. Are you?

You don't know the full extent of what this is doing to you Raider. It takes a few months for things to start to reverse. I honestly thought I was in full blown perimenopause. I was going to see a hormone therapist it was sooooo bad. It turns out all the depression, anger, fog everything was because of the alcohol. Not like this is good for the guys but our bodies just are not able to tolerate this kind of abuse.

lessgravity 09-15-2013 11:14 AM

Damn 13, what happened?

13unluckyforsom 09-15-2013 11:17 AM

Nothing happened - that's the point - I bust a gut getting sober and then it's just back to being took for granted! Only when I'm not drinking I notice it all the more and I'm not one to stamp my feet fussing but I made my point to my other half and it was ignored so - what's the point if nothing in the rest of my life changes - except me - I'm giving more and everyone takes more basically!

mecanix 09-15-2013 11:18 AM

5 slips (i assume days) means also 9 green days sober on the calender ? Just sayin'

Hey 13 i'm sorry to hear it , you have sounded pritty angsty these last few days , learning how to deal with life on lifes terms and stay sober is hard and painful . I hope you chuck the drink away and go to bed . Make sure you have some water to be kind to your kidneys .

Tomorow is a new day we all get to try and deal with life again .

Be safe , m

Raider 09-15-2013 11:18 AM

I have come to th conclusion I can't do this by myself. I am leaving tomorrow for 3 1/2 weeks. When I get back, I will be checking detox centers. No meetings longbeach. Maybe ill fly over and pick up 13 and make him go with me!


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