congrats on day 65 least.

apparently its around now that alot of people slip up and relapse. returning to their unhappy intoxicated/hungover/withdrawing/anxious ways.

so perhaps this is a warning to stay extra strong for awhile to really lock that sobriety in. its pretty obvious this is what we all want, but it has to be fought for daily from the vibe of people posts lately.

there is a cool thread on SR titled 'what i dont miss about drinking' perhaps read this if you feeling cravings...it helped me.

Im dong well, my studies have started for the year & ive been to every class so far. Im clear headed in class, engaged with the other students (even had lunch in the common room yesterday) am enjoying the learning. im studying accupuncture & traditional chinese healing/medicne. Ive descovered there are aa classed over lunchtime really close to my campus so this is great...i can whip of for an hour and get 'charged up' when i feel i need it.

but if im really honest with myself...im finding this hard, i feel 'bored' and like im 'missing out' by being sober 24/7 i know this is just my disease rearing its ugly head...especially seeing as my drinking made me antisocial, withdrawen, broke, unhealthy & a general pain to be around.

hangin around town i get triggers all the time...and it always makes me a little unhappy.......but overall, im gratefull to be sober & have insight into my disease.

im just a baby at this 2 1/2 months sobers....i got long ways to go!

all the best ya'll
nd
:)

omg... was just clearing out my closet to put some clothes away and found a bottle of wine I'd forgotten about!!! I dumped it down the sink. That's scary cause I'd completely forgotten I put it there. Just glad I had the sense to pour it out. Actually, I noticed that the smell really turned me off. I guess I'm getting better cause I used to like the smell of wine...:) Not anymore!! (yuck)

Hey all. Day 56... feeling good. Could do without the several additional inches of snow we're supposed to get this weekend though, even the snowman we made last week is now swallowed in a snow drift. (!)
Good job least! : )

You're getting several more inches this weekend?:scorebad I'm in NE Ohio and only flurries are forecast for the weekend. Stay warm and dry! :)

69 days today... and our forecast is for more snow in the next day or so! :headbange

congrats to everyone on their clean time! Day 50 for me.

:c014:

way t'go you guys :)

D

!
 

checkin in!

ooooo got brave yesterday and posted on a local forum, from which i know quite a few people...basically filling people in with whats been going on with me regarding alcoholism etc. the forum is a prominent NZ dance music forum, so was a big deal for me. i know quite a few people from it and have hidden my boozy ways well from them...some not so well, as tends to happen wen on a decent bender.

up to this point the only people that know i now identify as an alcoholic are close friends, family & SR. so im now publically identifying as an alcoholic...eeeeek!

im aware some people wish to retain their anonymity. but my reasons for spilling the beans are good ones i think

1: i wish the many people ive prob acted the fool in front of to know that i am sorry & that i am trying hard to change.

2: potentially help other victims of NZ's heavy drinking culture especially in the dance/electronic scene. by talking about it?

anywayz heres my post if you interested, i didnt start the thread someone else bought up the subject of alcoholism & i didnt like the way the thread was unfolding so added my 2 cents. on a side note, the response i got from people was AWESOME! alot of peeps are surprised & being really supportive. i finally feel im getting some of my life back...
:)
heres the post
I dunno about all the predisposition/genetic/disease issues surrounding alcoholism. but i wanna add my 2cents to what i think is a sensitive, important issue.

Those who know me well enough, will probably know by now that i identify myself as an alcoholic, and those who have seen me out and about at gigs on the town/music festivals/house parties, have probably been wondering why im not acting so crazy anymore. The 'what is John gonna do next' factor has been removed. My friends also know that for some reason, i cannot touch alcohol without a profound change in my personality happening. What started of as a barrel of fun in my 20's very slowly & subtly developed into something out of my control. im talking drinking for days and days on end with full day blackouts, loss of employment, financial ****, loss of motivation/spirit, relationships being destroyed, health problems, waking up in hospital, almost losing my life about 4 times...you get the idea

after many years of being really unhappy, but managing to hide it relatively well from the general populace. i was still trying to control things with moderation, only drinking beer etc. but this was to no avail. The slow steady decline was still happening and all the nasty stuff was getting nastier...id had enough and sought help from the people closest to me.

Track forward to now, I havnt drunk in 3 months and am only just getting my **** back on track. I am am under no illusion that i will have to be so so carefull for a long time to come. but i am infinitly happier already and have made some really good progress to start enjoying my life again.

I love the NZ dnb/dance music scene and have met some AWESOME TALENTED LOVELY people through absorbing myself in it. To all the peeps that ive met and have thought i was somewhat detached & aloof...i apologise...i wasnt just alooof, i was seriously ****** up....by something so simple as Ethanol.

Im almost at the point where i can handle going out to gigs and be around other drinkers and cant wait to get back to enjoying one of the things i love the most in life....music & people

I want people to know what alcohol has done to me & if anyone ever wants to yack, hang out...hit me up! just get in touch.

if you see me drinking....kick my ******* ass! and please don't ever buy me a drink.

hope to see some of yas out in about...i think i can still have fun!!

71 days today and going strong. :)

60 days today and not drinking today!

nice one guys!
:)

who feels like things are getting easier? or harder?

I do! Things are indeed getting easier. And harder. Depends on the day, hell it really depends on the moment. Drinking and drugging aren't really the issue so much now in that i honestly don't have the desire to use, but i'm still one screwed up cat. Learning how to navigate all the stuff life throws at me is the trip today. And doing so without reverting to insane behaviors without using. I recently engaged in one of my stress aversion insane behaviors at work while not using, and lemme tell you, it was worse than doing it while high by a longshot. But life is truly good today. I'm grateful to be engaged in the process for what seems like the first time ever.

74 days today and it's getting easier for me to deal with life sober.:)

Still here, still sober. Will have 60 days next week :) It's getting much easier now. Stay strong, everyone.

Congrats Laura. I'll have 60 days next week too!

Another 80 or so posts and we'll move to the Daily Support forum!:) Glad to hear everyone doing so well. Sobriety really rocks!

Least, it truly does. I am just now starting to get to the point at which I am enjoying spending my time sober-- I mean, really enjoying it.

I still think about drinking in the evenings, and so forth, but it's gotten easier to just remember that there are consequences when I do that, and let it go. I'm not obsessing over alcohol anymore, and my mood is beginning to brighten.

I am so grateful for this!

been getting pretty bad cravings...just wanna get drunk to aliviate the obsession.
i think its because im spending more time in the city around 'normal' drinkers.
i keep wanting to be normal & beable to get drunk with friends.
its hard being lucid 24/7 no running away from anything.

i guess its my illness rearing its ugly head & i just have to stay strong.
*sigh*

78 days today. coming up on three months! Yippee:)