Originally Posted by pams
(Post 5697415)
I slipped up last night. I didn't get drunk, I am not hungover, I did not do anything stupid. So that's all on the plus side. I dunno, I was so exhausted after work this week...not physically exhausted, but mentally exhausted. I had some frustrating days struggling with the new financial system that is to be in place by January 1st. Which is probably not going to happen. I have 3 working days until Xmas break and I don't think that is going to be enough time. I cant believe that this system does not have a manual, or a webinar, or even a help function...WTF? I am reliant on a very very busy man in the IT department across the country to help out. It's frustrating to have to wait for this man to find time to call me so I can ask a simple question that could easily be answered with a FAQ section. The wine did nothing for me. I don't feel guilty, or ashamed really. I feel just mostly disappointed. I blew my 30 some days on nothing. I could have just as easily came home and drank tea, but I didnt. Although, I was reminded of the crap sleep I get when I drink. I woke up at 1am, with heartburn and feeling a little shaky. I really detest that shaky feeling. I woke up SO thirsty several times....and no amount of water seems to make it go away. I had to get up and refill my water bottles, take something for the heartburn, and something for the anxiety I get from the shaky feeling. So I slept later than normal this morning and have accomplished nothing so far today. So ok. Wine is not my friend. That's settled. I am sitting here wondering what exactly I did get out of it 30 some days ago? Cause all I got out of it last night was a crap sleep, dehydration, heartburn and the need to use one of my anxiety meds. Well at least it sounds like you know it's not fun anymore! At least it didn't sound fun to me. Be sure not to beat yourself up! Just look forward! Be proud of all of your hard work so far & just tweek a few things & build on it! Progress not perfection! Stay with us!!! We care about you! We are stronger together, remember? :-) |
Originally Posted by rah555
(Post 5697453)
Hi guys! Coming back around...fell into the same cycle...thought I could moderate. Did ok for a while but overdid it last night. Ugh!! Back to day 1 for me. Hope you are all doing well. |
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
(Post 5697484)
Today's hilarious alcohol gifts. ... a 3 pack of cocktail baubles. ...12 bottles of real ale from a good friend... 3 bottles of craft lager...AND served a glass of prosecco at lunch. Jeez.... it's like the world is a against my efforts! !! However viewed positively, I now have plenty of gifts for over people. . Cheeky I know....hahahah I felt nothing when given these. Just didn't want to. Unusually. ... normally when give up I am so angry I can't drink. Eventually I crack. But now I don't care..... dare I hope this time it might work Every anniversary of alcohol I can cross off like that bereavement. ..Bring it on!!!! It's down to you guys.... thanks..so much!!!! |
Originally Posted by Dallow
(Post 5697584)
Hey guys! Just to say merry christmas and please stay strong everyone! We've got your back :) I will go away to a country cottage and I hope to find the serenity and calm that I long for. So I will not check in - I will stay away from internet, from almost everything. And I think it will do me good. I will appriciate the moments with my relatives. But I didn't give up - not on me and not on you! See you soon and big hugs to all of you! |
Originally Posted by Supertired
(Post 5697667)
Brutal cravings. Stressful day at work ... 2 hours to go then home to hide haha You got this! Use your tools. |
Originally Posted by rah555
(Post 5697680)
Feeling bad that I ended up being in the same place again, overdoing it and having a blackout episode. I am not a responsible drinker. I push the limits. I don't feel well today...hungover, feeling remorse. You would think I would just be able to stop overdoing it. It makes me feel so bad physically and emotionally. Somehow I forget and end up slipping. I have been trying to overcome this for a couple of years now. I guess I never really committed to stopping. After an episode I do but then as time passes I start thinking I can moderate and I do that for a while but then lose it. I really want my life to be better. |
Originally Posted by enfinthechange
(Post 5697698)
Wow, thanks for the info .. I will look it up. .. it certainly was an emotional night and I cried tonnes.... so sad in my marriage I thought would be awesome.forever!!! |
Originally Posted by SoberMarathon I can have alcohol OR I can have EVERYTHING else!! But I can't have both. When put into those terms, it's really not a difficult decision. I love it! Thank you SoberMarathon! L LOVEIT TOO!!! |
Originally Posted by rah555
(Post 5697507)
To be successful I am going to need to be diligent and focused. I start out strong then peeter out. Small goals...no drinking of course, but need to post/read comments daily., need to actively figure out how to live/interact/participate in things without drinking. It seems like it should be easy but breaking habits is challenging. It's almost the end of 2015. In 2015 I had 13 blackout episodes. Not great. I want to end 2015 strong and go into 2016 strong. Feeling a little down right now. |
Originally Posted by Supertired
(Post 5697298)
Have I told you lately that I love you (class of November) : P |
Welcome back Faithfulandfree, Rah and Pams :) the last thing I want to do is beat you guys up...but I think it's important to look at your recovery plans again if you relapse. Think about things you can add - even posting here before you give in to the idea of drinking is a good step in the right direction :) D |
: ) Home safe and sound. That was definitly as close to cracking as I've come . Unfortunatly tho, I've backed out of some social plans tonight because I'm not sure I can deal . Need more time In other news, there's a big housefly buzzing around my living room and the cats are going apeshit. Haha glad I'm home and not missing out on watching this |
Originally Posted by Supertired
(Post 5698107)
: ) Home safe and sound. That was definitly as close to cracking as I've come . Unfortunatly tho, I've backed out of some social plans tonight because I'm not sure I can deal . Need more time In other news, there's a big housefly buzzing around my living room and the cats are going apeshit. Haha glad I'm home and not missing out on watching this I love the chirping sound that cats make when they see a fly! lol |
Just got home from a nice dinner with the family. Even seeing others drinking alcohol at the restaurant didn't bother me and it was really nice to be present and not distracted by alcohol. I really do have the best kids in the world! Looking forward to a wonderful nights rest and a sober morning! Sorry for all those struggling, this disease sucks. We CAN beat this though, we only have to have the desire to stop and the willingness to take action. Good night, love you all! |
Originally Posted by patricia68
(Post 5698137)
I love the chirping sound that cats make when they see a fly! lol |
Graduated from intensive outpatient this past Friday. That plus outside meetings has been a huge help to me this time around. No more trying to do this alone. Never alone again. Hope everyone is doing well. |
Way to go Supertired! I'm so glad you were able to ignore the AV!!! Cats make great fly catchers, don't they? Sneakers, great job on graduating from IOP! I can't do it alone either and we don't have to. A combo of SR & AA is saving my life! Keep up the great work! :-) |
....craving it guys, could really go some...... |
Originally Posted by canguy
(Post 5698405)
....craving it guys, could really go some...... |
Canguy, don't listen to your AV. It wants to kill you! Eat something substantial, drink a big glass of water & go for a walk! It's the middle of the night where I am so I need to go to bed. I will put you at the top of my prayer list. Don't drink! You will regret it & it will NEVER be fun again. You can do this Canguy! |
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