Class of November 2015 Part 7
 

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-6-a-20.html

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Don't listen to the lies Blackbird!

Fabat, you ROCK! Glad you didn't taste and spit : ) Crazy the things the AV will try and convince us to do!!!

Hey all.
Happy Friday!
Been struggling this week a bit. Nicotine withdrawls are alcohol craving triggers for me apparently. Touch and go a bit, but successfully navigated thus far . Kept some nicotine gum on Hand just in case I'm about to snap but I'm not keen on using it and frankly just want to be done entirely with trying to regulate my moods etc by using ANYTHING.
Don't want to ruin my three hangover less weeks. The more days that add up the more I feel I have to lose by slipping. This is a good thing I think.. Whatever, it's working.
Feeling optomistic however a bit isolated.. It's just really hard to be out in the world right now .. Just gonna go about my business as best I can until things level out I guess.
Be well everyone! And I really hope everyone has a great Christmas week.

Oh BBF. I'm so sorry. :(. That's so hurtful

Hey guys, haven't checked in for awhile! But saw a quote just now that I wanted to share here.

Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.

I'm having headaches too. Skipped my work party. Not because of alcohol but didn't want to go without my OH, who is traveling back from his father's funeral.

I spent the day cleaning and hanging out with my little guy. I did have some fleeting thoughts of drinking...day off, nothing to do really, winter storm going on outside, cozy in my home. Why would alcohol make this better?? That's my AV for you!

Thanks everyone for this group. You are all great. I read all your posts and have many of the same feelings...depression, indecision, anger. This too shall pass.

He wasn't being malicious. He just doesn't get it... the struggle of the addiction. As I defend him, I realize it was hurtful, even though he meant no harm. Find myself choked up a bit... Guess it's up to me too prove that I wont. :)

I was close to drinking today. As patricia said we need to be kind to ourselves. I have been down on myself all day... feeding frenzy for AV. I think I'm overwhelmed. I want so badly to be a better person but I'm stuck... running in place.

I work overnight, full time. I go to nursing school during the day full-time. Have a large family to take care of (two kids are mine, two are his) I've just volunteered (volunteered! I must be crazy) to host my extended family's Christmas in my small house so that my cousin's could attend. They are at the hospital in my hometown, as they've had premature twins a couple weeks ago. It was a high risk pregnamcy so they had to deliver in the larger city. Everyone else lives farther away. Our house is in no shape for company. It will be a lot of work. Sigh.

I've locked myself in the bathroom to post this... and fold laundry in peace.

♡bbf

Sober Friday night #4...it gets a little more 'normal' every week...

Closing out day 26. Will catch up on some posts and check back with everyone...

Peace everyone...

I do know one thing and that is no matter what we're going through right now in our lives, taking that first drink will in no way make it better and more likely than not, it will only make the situation worse.

Goodnight, see you in the morning!

Hey guys. Just finished at the retirement party. Didn't want to drink but for the first time got kind of harassed about it. It was annoying. I almost wanted to just yell at them I don't drink bc I'm an alcoholic!! Do you think it would be a good idea for me to drink??!! Phew. Just venting here. The party was fun it was just that instance. Glad everyone is hanging in there okay. I've got to do a little bit of Xmas shopping tonight but it's okay. Take care everyone!

Incredibly hot afternoon here....mid thirties. Tired, on my own, hacking away cleaning parts in workshop.....yeah, I could go buy beer right now.... easily just disappear into the afternoon.....just keep telling myself that its only the first couple that are good....then its all downhill from there.....I know all the cues are lining up.......just keep trying to think it ahead, not just the next 3 or 4 hours.....

One of those weekend moments......just have to ride it out, made a bit worse by the holiday buzz, weather etc etc.....

Day 21 now, so happy!

Hi guys!
 

Just checking in! I hope everyone had a great day!!! I need to catch up on the posts!

Summer afternoons are a huge trigger. Keep thinking about tomorrow. You don't want the hangover, the anxiety, the guilt. Do you have a favourite non-alcoholic drink that you can enjoy instead?

Fanged half a tub of greek yoghurt.....cold, creamy.....filling. Got plenty of cold soda water......I'll go sweat it out

It's hot here too canguy - ice cold soda water does the trick :)

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Canguy, glad you made it through the afternoon :) I think it just takes a little time for our brain to re-wire itself so that hot afternoon doesn't equal cold beer.

Blackbird, you sound very overwhelmed! That is a lot for one person to take on. Make sure to carve out a little time for yourself everyday. Even just to stop for a few minutes and take a few deep breathes and tell yourself you are doing a good job. Because you are :)

Paul, congratulations on three weeks! :)

Ultradad, SM, Christina, Goldensands, Kiki, Jemma, Supertired and Patricia have a great night! Way to make through another sober Friday :) Enjoy that hangover-free Saturday morning!

Well I didn't drink, we talked a lot. I am very confused, very sad and full of remorse and shame again... I have really broken my husband and marriage by being an idiot. He is so hurt. .. I still couldn't explain properly how I felt... but it was a start. Maybe ... didn't drink over it.is could see that was not the answer!

I also feel likening have a hangover. .. bad head and groggy as a bin bag..... urghhhh. .

It's still very recent for you both enfin - and they were obviously some issues before then...

this is going to take a little time, patience and faith, I think?

D

Good Saturday morning all. Woke up at 6:00am feeling pretty good. Now I'm having my coffee by the fire with my 7 year old. :)

Good job everyone for getting through Friday!!!

BBF I second what swimkim said. Take some time for yourself each day. It's so important!!

Enfin you're doing great! Marriage is hard work. Great job staying sober through this.

Supertired, Jemma, Ultra, SoberMarathon, swimkim, Kiki, can guy, Paul, Patricia way to make it to the weekend!!! Keep it up. (Sorry if I forgot anyone. I'm on my phone)

I'll check in later. :)

Good morning...Cristina - we must be synced! I'm also up at 6am having my coffee, but my 7yr old (and 4yr old) are still out cold.

Feels surreal at times to have the whole weekend in front of me without being hungover or thinking about the drink. Almost too many possibilities with respect to things I could do today as a result of being sober. Still I prefer to lounge for a bit until the sun comes up and it warms up a bit at least.

My only real struggles so far are when people are drinking socially in front of me. Also, I find myself cringing (spelling?) when people say things like 'I owe you a beer' or 'let's do drinks' or 'did you hear we'll be able to buy wine at the supermarket soon' or 'you should go here they have the best craft beer selection'. I guess these things will bother me less as time goes on but all still a little too fresh for me.

My therapist told me that the first year of sobriety is a bit like the first year after someone close to you dies. There's a year of birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, summer holidays - all of which you need to get used to being without that person or in our case, alcohol. If that's the case, I won't underestimate that this could be a really tough 12 months but I'm ready for it.

Look forward to reading your posts today everyone. I know I don't always comment much but I do get a lot from reading about your experiences as I hope you do mine!!

Oh wow did did know I had my own November 2015 group. Just made it in, stop drinking November 30th....have 20 days....yeah! ok carry on...lets do this..

Welcome Soonerman. This is a great group. :)

SoberMarathon, this is brilliant and sooo true!!!
"My therapist told me that the first year of sobriety is a bit like the first year after someone close to you dies. There's a year of birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, summer holidays - all of which you need to get used to being without that person or in our case, alcohol. If that's the case, I won't underestimate that this could be a really tough 12 months but I'm ready for it."

Welcome soonerman!

So made it through the night and enjoying my cup of coffee as well, feels good to wake up sober and not have a hangover and actually remember the night before! We made plans for today and tonight, plans that my drinking would destroy so I think I'm okay, plus...the quote from SM really spoke to me, it's so freaking true. I told my wife last night that I think the problem I'm having right now is that deep down I really don't want to stop drinking, what I want is to drink without negative consequences and this is just never going to happen for me. I have to make up my mind that sobriety is what I truly want and desire more than anything else and then the process will become easier. Until then I'm just biding my time and playing with fire! I hope I'm getting to that point...like you Canguy the weather, be it cold or hot, is always a trigger for me and yes, the cravings are there this morning, but I'm being proactive this weekend instead of just blindly ignoring reality and giving in to the AV.

Enfin, really heartbroken for you! My wife and I wen't through a similar situation and it took a long time for trust and healing to come, but it did...dare I say, our marriage is actually stronger due to the journey. Hang in there and above all...start the trust building process by showing you can keep your self promises by staying sober!

SM, Canguy, BBF. Supertired, Jemma, Enfin, SoberMarathon, Cristina, swimkim, Kiki, Paul, Dee, Patricia and soonerman and everyone else I hope you all have a blessed and sober day!

Hey Guys, Ive been quiet for a while. I was sober for the most part until this week. I relapsed earlier this week and have been continuing all week. Im so lucky to not have gotten into trouble because I know me drinking can be dangerous. Im ready to start over and would like to stay in this class if you guys dont mind.

Please stay. Glad you're back. :)

Of course stay. Keep moving forward! Glad you posted and it only lasted a week :)

Relaxing by the fire sounds fantastic, Christina!

Ultradad, you have a great sober day too.

Enfin you are so strong to go through all of this so early in sobriety. It can only improve from here. :)

Hi sooner! Welcome

Swimkim, thank you. I took a bath last night... needed to just remove myself. I put myself at odds with the SO. Hed ask what was wrong, I'd respond with an irritated "Nothing". :/ what was wrong, I was fighting AV all day.

Stick around F&F !