I'm in! This is day 1 for me... I've done this twice before, once I got to 6 months then 9 months.. but I'm it to win this time!

Day 1 again for me tomorrow. At the moment I feel like I am past caring. Nothing could be further from the truth.

What is it? What is it with this 'disease' 'addiction' 'illness' Last week I felt great. I was loving the early mornings, getting up having an hours peace, wittering on here to my classmates. Maybe that's it. In a different class. Just got to the stage where I just don't give a stuff anymore. Nobody to answer to but myself. Nobody to let down on saying - was day 8 - messed up. That's it. Done.

I've managed to drink more tonight than I have in the 2 weeks since I joined. Arrgh!! Self destructive or what?

I don't want this. I don't like this. I was so happy earlier. And now I am crying. I can wrap it up in tinsel and stick cherries on it and say well it was good for a while. But what it boils down to is - I hate this. Why have I chosen to do this? I did. My choice.

I was ready to give up and leave, say I can do a week... I'm ok, I'll do another week... Ha!! As if. It comes back, and it bites you harder. I do truly hate this.

Sorry.

My Time..totally agree with why we chose to take that first drink knowing what pain it brings. I had 6 days. Woke up feeling so good on Sat morning but ordered a beer that evening at the fair like it was a soda. And that started the binge until last night. I hate it too. Good luck

MTIN... Sending hope your way.... been there, done that... don't be so hard on yourself, but I think the name of the game now is how do we step things up. I didn't think I cared either.... that's the alcohol talking. You're here.... you posted.... you care. And we care.

Nice little poem thingy, Idun! There is no sanity once we start thinking down that road, that's for sure. All sanity gets thrown out the window.

Having some massive cravings at the moment. Head hurts too. I get off work in an hour. Need to make it home without stopping anywhere. Oh, wait, I don't have my debit card.... I remember now I left it at home this morning and just brought my license to work. Smart move.... Unsmart move - I asked a friend if she wanted to go hiking around 7pm.....

Count me in this month.

I had the best sober June I ever had in a lot of years but still not perfect. July will be different.

Let's try something new this month.... like completing it lol. We can do it! Something has gotta give right! I thought June was it too... but here we are together again lol.

Good luck to you too brdlvr.

I do care. An awful lot. You're right otherwise I wouldn't have posted. I have the nastiest headache. My body does not like this either! I'm in the UK, it's coming up for 9.30 and I'm going to bed.

I don't want to say lovely day ruined as I can still treasure this morning. That's what I need to hold on to. This morning. No if's, no but's, no - I'm ok now... Crikey, feel worse than when I first posted on here.

Good night all x

Welcome brdlvr Sarah, Idun, Ms Sola, Sober4, Weasel and Aug :)

Tomorrow's another day MTN - I agree with R4R tho, maybe its time to add a few more things to your recovery toolbox now?

D

I am determined to complete this month. I am putting it out there into the universe. I will make it happen.

So guys it was rough.... but I managed to make it home after work... only had my driver's license on me... no debit or credit cards. Talked with hubby briefly...

Then had to go get gas for the Jeep. But had to hurry to meet a friend to go hiking. Ok, I didn't hurry, I just wanted to get there and read a bit in the AA book so I wouldn't drink. Had a great 3.5 mile hike. Drank lots of water and G2 Gatorade. Must always have liquids in vehicle... and came straight home.....

Sooooooooooo...... alcohol - you just got served. Take this :a043: and this :smashfrea: and this :camper: because I'm not fighting you alone anymore... I have Someone much higher than you and higher than me to help me beat you.

Good night everyone.

sounds like a plan R4R :)

D

I'm in. June record was 7 days. Aiming for 90 this time round.

Ok.... Tim - I'm with you on the 90.... + ;)

Can't post much... woke up too late. Slept good, but the longer I'm up the more my head spins and I feel like crap. May have to take half an Ativan (I have them in case of anxiety).

Day 2 - Here I come!

Have a good one everyone..... we CAN do this. Never give up.

Back Again - Day 2
 

Hello All,

God - I so want to do this, more than anything.

Good luck to all x

welcome Tim and Amy Louise :)

D

Sorry for posting twice!

I decided it's my blood sugar dropping dramatically - kind was prepared for feeling crappy tomorrow. Not today. Guess it lends into the whole progession concept. Well, at least my liver isn't aching today.
Going to eat some oatmeal and some watermelon... even though I don't feel like eating anything.
This too shall pass. I need to remember what this feels like - maybe I'll write it in my journal.

So, Dee - what in the heck does your signature mean???

well I'm not Paul Gaugin R4R LOL...but - to me - I guess it's like the old AA saying...don't leave before the miracle happens...

try try and try again...
you never know when that 'masterpiece' is gonna happen ;)

I was just about to replace it too...but you've changed my mind now :)

have a good day everyone :)
D