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Dudes, this convo has made me look up, review, and study the subtle differences in meaning in the words "compassion," "sympathy," and "empathy." To me, it's a worthwhile meditation! But then again, I'm a word dork. |
I think we certainly do share a commonality of experience UBC...even if we don't always recognize it as such :) D |
Wow - thanks guys - i knew i could rely on you for your wisdom :) Heck AG - i wish all of you could come and hang with me in Melbourne. I can imagine we would have a ball :) Yeah, i hope in time it leans towards compassion - i am working on that. I know i have that with people I know, like my SR family. I have it with my students and I do try to guide them without lecturing but jeez that's a hard one coz they are sooooooooo young. I am 4 days off of 6 months sobriety. Is it weird that i feel like crying tears of joy? I know this journey of recovery will be lifelong but jeez, the little milestones are definitely amazing. I NEVER thought I would be here, admitting I am an alcoholic AND 6 months sober. Life is wonderful, gotta live it one day at a time... right? :ring |
Dee and UBC you guys are so right. What we share is so much bigger than what we don't. Oz, I'm super excited for you to cross into six months & I think it's wonderful you feel like crying tears of joy. And I've been so excited for our whole group to cross into October and the six month mark. Does anyone have special plans for commemorating the six month mark? |
Last time I was logged on, someone mentioned they had a cold. And I said to myself, "im so lucky i never get sick, cause i cannot handle colds." The past 4 days, I've been having heavy cold symptoms. With nothing but Ginger, honey,lemon,beats, and onion mix as medicine. So I've been keeping to myself. I'm broke so I can't get a haircut, and I've been avoiding the dermatologists, my skin is breaking out. I guess I won't admit it to anybody else, but i look terrible, and feel terrible. I don't want to see anybody. Sharing at the rehab was amazing. It was all men, some of whom I've known from past rehab stints or outpatient programs. I guess I realized that I can easily be right there if I don't change some of my attitudes and behaviors:
Originally Posted by unbrokenchain
(Post 2713746)
Everywhere I search the leading recommendation for being sober for life, is to meet peers that suffered from the same malady. I don't want to hang with recovery people today. I don't want to hang with anyone. I just want to stay home as much as possible, watch sitcoms, play bass, and write music. The problem is that I don't like tv shows much, and I don't even have my bass in the house right now. So who am I kidding? Haven't been to a meeting in two days, having been to my outpatient in 3 days. No matter how I feel, I will make both tomorrow. |
Hey all! I had a dream last night. Was at a table with an attractive girl, took a huge drink of her soda and it was mixed with some kind of alcohol. Got immediately buzzed. Horrible part was in the dream I loved the feeling, wanted more. Still...was so PISSED that it was in the soda. Didn't know if that counted and I'd have to start over. October almost here! I take a lot of time off from work in October. :Frankenstein: |
Hi Cleansing--sorry to hear you're sick. It was me with the cold, but having been through it I can assure you, it WILL get better. :lmao: I know colds have a tendency to worsen my moods--just take it easy now and give yourself whatever solitude you need. I do think it's healthy for us to interact with people daily but I also think some people really are introverts and it's okay if you don't always want to be out there interacting. I once heard that the simple definition is that extroverts gain energy being around others while introverts lose energy being around others. I know I need plenty of alone time to recharge my batteries after being sociable. If you think about it, AA might be slightly self-selecting for extroverts, since extroverts may be drawn to a program with such a social aspect. I know part of why I love SR is because I really love reading and writing and letter correspondence. Ghostly, sorry to hear about your dream. I still have them (it's been a while but for a while I was having so many) and they are all different, sometimes like yours. I've heard dreams are a chance for the mind to work on its fears & practice situations that it is struggling to learn about during day time. So for that part I think the dreams may be a good thing. Have a good day everyone! |
My trip to Melbourne was like a celebration of sobriety. I added up all the money I would have spent on alcohol in that time and justified a trip to Melbourne immediately :) My next treat will be a new tattoo, probably towards end of year :) Cleansing: I have days like that too. I don't think there is any harm in hiding away sometimes. It gives us time to regroup our feelings and get to know ourselves again. As long as you eventually come out of hiding and enjoy life again... :ring |
Originally Posted by AmericanGirl
(Post 2723363)
Hey OzGoddess! Ah I wish I could be hanging out with you in Melbourne! I love the international aspect of our little thread here . . . it keeps me daydreaming about seeing more of the world. :) You know, when it comes to the judgment thing, I was just saying that the other day I was around some strangers who were really drunk and how it made me feel all sorts of things; my feelings really ran the gamut from irritation to feeling threatened to pity to empathy/the compassion Dee mentions. But I will say that one thing that I've had to radically change post-drinking is my attitude toward drinking across the board--I mean, my recovery depends in part on me being able to understand what was wrong with my drinking. I used to tell myself that "four or five" was okay, back when that was a moderate night for me; now I really don't see four or five as moderate drinking for anyone. Imo, Humans are judgmental by nature; if that judgment is coming from a place of insecurity & unhappiness it is sometimes a self-defense mechanism rooted in fear & inability to confront a situation with a wider/more inclusive perception of it. It took me a long time to understand what this "insecurity" thing meant. So, some judgments are harmful and come from a place of weakness . . . other judgments are based on a value system and they make up the social contract/our society. I personally lean toward personal freedom in the matters of drugs and alcohol (and pretty much everything else)--let people do what they want, within the bounds that it is not directly hurting others. That said, as I've mentioned, I teach university students. I frequently see them making decisions that I believe they would not make if they had a little more life experience.. Does that mean I judge them? Absolutely. Do I feel compassion for them, since they're so young and I made so many of the same mistakes? Absolutely. Do I keep my opinions to myself and avoid sounding sententious? Again, absolutely! I'm just saying that as long as you're not assuming something about someone, or thinking you know exactly what they are going through, it seems to me that judgment is natural consequence of having made up your mind about your personal experience with alcohol. Maybe this is crazy or I'll change my mind about it, but right now, that seems logical enough to me. Whew. That was long winded. Hope everyone's doing well! As always, I love reading this thread and hearing how everyone is doing. AG, The last few days I've been filtering what you've written (^) and sometimes feel almost guilty (in a plageristic sort of way ) paraphrasing you in conversation. lo What a great usage of that new (new to me, anyway !?! ) word ....."sententious" :tyou Been working outside the last week or so getting a building prepped for painting. The kind of labor I would've just struggled with , both physically and mentally (esp.) the last several years, but it's been more of a calming and satisfying experience so far. well; .......after a day or two of initial angst !! lo You guys are the best ! :scoregood |
Cleansing, Hope you're feeling better ASAP !! . |
Originally Posted by topspin
(Post 2726917)
AG, The last few days I've been filtering what you've written (^) and sometimes feel almost guilty (in a plageristic sort of way ) paraphrasing you in conversation. lo What a great usage of that new (new to me, anyway !?! ) word ....."sententious"
Originally Posted by ozgoddess My trip to Melbourne was like a celebration of sobriety. I added up all the money I would have spent on alcohol in that time and justified a trip to Melbourne immediately My next treat will be a new tattoo, probably towards end of year
Originally Posted by UnBrokenChain I said you know, I used to drink quite alot but I'm on a health kick the past year so I keep it at a minimal these days and changed the subject. I feel kind of embarrassed really, with the subject. I feel often I'm like a spoiled apple trying to feign "fresh" fruits on the market. If the relationship persists which I think it will on some level even if only as friends, I might go deeper into it and get it off my chest as not to hide anything from her. Have a good evening, everybody. |
Hey all! Good to see some posts in here. UBC with the younger woman! I don't blame you for not wanting to talk about your sobriety. Still...you know she may view it as fine, or even great. Don't stress about it. I know that's easy for me to say. Don't blame you either AG. Nice job stayin sober in that situation! Other than family get togethers I'm not in too many drinking situations myself. Although I could be. Good to hear form you Oz and Top! Another weekend done. It's cool here. Not much more to say. |
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