Sorry UBC my fault - although I've seen the movie loads, not being an American and living in the tropics, the date of groundhog day has never sunk in LOL :D

D

AG,
Hope you get over that summer cold. Those things can be hell, just lingering around.

You know the old remedies, ..plenty of citrus, liquids, "starve a cold", plenty of rest, blah , blah, blah.

"No self-pitying thought for 24 hours" !?! ....like not even a few minor little things ? I'm going to give it a try !!!!

I know what you mean about feeling down (why me ? , .....damn this thing !?!, why ? ) when you're under the weather physically.

It's probably tough to slow down a few days, but, please; get as much rest as ya can, along with the liquids. I wish I could send you some of that magical cure-all (homemade chicken-noodle soup ) That, and some Tussin'. lo

According to Chris, ...his folks thought Robetussin could cure anything from the flu to a broken arm. "just rub some Tussin' on it"

I am going to try to see if I can not have any self-pitying thoughts for 24 hours, starting tonight. Why am I getting this feeling it's going to be really, really hard ?

Hope you're feeling better ASAP.

ISFJ for me. Don't understand what it means.

Hope you feel better AG!

Dee...I'm in America and didn't remember when GH day is. Really does make sense it is towards the end of winter than fall when I think bout it though. :beachball

UBC...must be nice to get all those early Bday wishes. That was sooooo funny.

Hey everyone,

I just read the last page and it's great to see that everyone is still posting. Me not so much and that makes me feel like an outsider sometimes which I don't want to be...and technically I'm not right? I mean still sober and still an Apriller :-))
But yeah, I'm just really tired.
I went to a woman who lays cards last saturday, I don't know how many of you believe in that kind of thing, but I personally believe cards or some people can bring out some of the energy that is within us somehow. She hit the nail on the head when she said that 4 year ago a big rupture happend in my life, which started a whole mechanism and she said that the last 4 years I have been dying, to be born again soon. She said, that I must be feeling very drained and exhausted because so much in my life and ways of looking at things changed, but that by my next b-day which is in december it will be like a new spring for me (start of year 1 according to numerology). I'm curious to see if she's right, because winter is not really my best time of year normally...actually can't even understand why of all people I was born in such a cold month!! But yay two springs in one year, what apriller wouldn't want that!! :-())

Thinking of you all,
X

I've picked up after 30 days last year, and came real close to using at 90 this time around. I've heard of people using around 6 months and 9 months. For whatever reason, those landmark days get real complicated.

But Sobriety is simple, so I have to keep it simple today.
Pray, Church w/ mom, a meeting, don't judge others, continue to relax and take it easy. I am afraid of using, so I am even more afraid of making things complicated.

Happy Birthday, Groundhog!
Yes, thank you for the reminder to stay strong family. Peace.

Not been feeling so fun. Everything is ok, but losing interest in hobbies and people again. I have the opportunity to go to rehab and speak with the patients today. I never thought anyone would care to let me speak ... and today, someone does. Awesome!

Dear Aprillers-- Thank you guys so much for your sweet words in response to my last post. Funny there are so many INFJs and I'm glad Ghostly you can mix it up a bit. ;) I think the badness of my mood was mostly due to the cold, which is thankfully leaving again. (That was two colds within 6 weeks--I'm sure irritating to anyone! Students pass around a lot of 'em.) I am also reminding myself not to fixate on any project that is giving me anxiety unless I'm actually working on the project (that is, no tossing and turning at night worrying about something I'm not actually doing -- I must wait until I actually sit down and do it). Top, I don't think I managed to keep track for 24 hours, but it was good enough to remind myself the first few times and steer myself away from those thoughts.

I had a great weekend, took a nice break & had some fun. I went to a concert and saw a really drunk couple -- at the beginning of the night they were somewhat drunk, and by the end, totally smashed and just awful, saying the type of things I remember saying/doing. I felt really bad for them and it was so strange being on the other side. For so long, I was the drunkest woman at the party & woke up feeling a mindless, self-involved shame that I would spend the day talking myself out of. Now I remember how it feels to be on the other side, how such extreme drunkenness can seem threatening, pitiable, obnoxious, sad, frustrating, demanding, etc. Most of all, though, I feel empathy, just this terrible sense of how I know what they are going through and how it doesn't have to be that way.

UBC, sounds like you had a beautiful weekend. Cleansing, I'm sorry you weren't feeling too great when you posted and I hope the speaking opportunity is a good experience/you leave feeling better. Andi, good to hear from you. Not a true believer in tarot but I'd definitely leap at the chance to have one done. :)

Hi gang :)

hope everyones well - busy week for me LOL.
Good to hear from you Andi!

D

Andi,
Great to hear from you. ....and you'll never be "an outsider" on this April Thread.

Our group size is growing since Cleansing joined us !

"I have the opportunity to go to rehab and speak with the patients today. I never thought anyone would care to let me speak ... and today, someone does. Awesome! "

That IS Awesome ! Was that the first time you've done that ?
What an inspiring step to be taking in recovery.

UBC, ....sounds like a wonderful experience you had. And I thought I may have been one of the last hitch-hikers crossing the States "several times over" just "for kicks". Great adventure , for sure, but did get a little dicey from time to time.
Parts of the Asian culture must be so endearing.

Can totally relate to being excited about taking some risk in sobriety. I don't have that old constant negative "doom and gloom, ...with a little irrational fear thrown in " tape cycling anymore. Whew, ...thank goodness, huh ?

AG, It's timely you had that experience of witnessing some more folks getting lit up. I had a very similiar thing happen just last night here at the resort. And my feelings were about the same as yours !

"Now I remember how it feels to be on the other side, how such extreme drunkenness can seem threatening, pitiable, obnoxious, sad, frustrating, demanding, etc. Most of all, though, I feel empathy, just this terrible sense of how I know what they are going through and how it doesn't have to be that way."

Actually, I was getting a little impatient when I began to feel like his "captive audience" after 20 minutes or so. Suspect there may have been some additional chemicals involved, ..in retrospect. Sad situation, really.

I'm just plugging along, .....handling lifes' little curveballs.
...Moving along( ever sooooo slowly) with some long- neglected home maint. projects; and still dreaming of getting a skiff one of these months/ seasons !?! Lo

D, ....nice sig. lo

Busy is a million miles from where I used to be UBC..it's good :)

D

Hey all - back again ;)

Went to Melbourne to see the Tim Burton exhibition, which was fabulous. Also, ended up in a couple of Melbourne pubs by pure chance. Best news is, having a drink didn't even cross my mind but I did notice I was pretty judgmental of people that were either drinking pretty early in the day or obviously not handling their drink too well.

Is this normal? Have you all gone through this? I hope to god it is not jealousy because I really don't feel the urge to have a drink, but I also don't want to end up a bitter sober person either.

Thoughts?

I think it's a phase we all go through - hopefully we come out the other end LOL

I'm not sure whether it's jealousy...I felt that too LOL...the judgmental BS was I think a reaction to the 'mirror image' thing...'that used to be me'....there was some shame and some self loathing in it for me.

I'm glad I got past that, and I think you will too OzG.
Compassion's so important.

D

Hey OzGoddess! Ah I wish I could be hanging out with you in Melbourne! I love the international aspect of our little thread here . . . it keeps me daydreaming about seeing more of the world. :)

You know, when it comes to the judgment thing, I was just saying that the other day I was around some strangers who were really drunk and how it made me feel all sorts of things; my feelings really ran the gamut from irritation to feeling threatened to pity to empathy/the compassion Dee mentions. But I will say that one thing that I've had to radically change post-drinking is my attitude toward drinking across the board--I mean, my recovery depends in part on me being able to understand what was wrong with my drinking. I used to tell myself that "four or five" was okay, back when that was a moderate night for me; now I really don't see four or five as moderate drinking for anyone. Imo, Humans are judgmental by nature; if that judgment is coming from a place of insecurity & unhappiness it is sometimes a self-defense mechanism rooted in fear & inability to confront a situation with a wider/more inclusive perception of it. It took me a long time to understand what this "insecurity" thing meant. So, some judgments are harmful and come from a place of weakness . . . other judgments are based on a value system and they make up the social contract/our society. I personally lean toward personal freedom in the matters of drugs and alcohol (and pretty much everything else)--let people do what they want, within the bounds that it is not directly hurting others. That said, as I've mentioned, I teach university students. I frequently see them making decisions that I believe they would not make if they had a little more life experience.. Does that mean I judge them? Absolutely. Do I feel compassion for them, since they're so young and I made so many of the same mistakes? Absolutely. Do I keep my opinions to myself and avoid sounding sententious? Again, absolutely! I'm just saying that as long as you're not assuming something about someone, or thinking you know exactly what they are going through, it seems to me that judgment is natural consequence of having made up your mind about your personal experience with alcohol. Maybe this is crazy or I'll change my mind about it, but right now, that seems logical enough to me. Whew. That was long winded.

Hope everyone's doing well! As always, I love reading this thread and hearing how everyone is doing. :grouphug: