There’s a man I meet walks up our street
He’s a worker for the council
Has been twenty years
And he takes no lip off nobody
And litter off the gutter
Puts it in a bag
And never seems to mutter
And he packs his lunch in a sunblest bag
The children call him bogie
He never lets on
But I know ’cause he once told me
He let me know a secret about the money in his kitty
He’s gonna buy a dinghy
Gonna call her dignity

Quite like Deacon Blue, have to ignore the fact that Ricky Ross is a Dundee tink but there you go !!!!!!!!!!!!

OK...totally lost me Fizzy..will have to think on that one!!!!!!

Aw LB...i never did anything with "dignity and grace" in my life....do they say that over there in AA? it's real popular around here and i made some comment about how i couldn't do it...and someone pointed out there isn't a single place in the Big Book, the 12x12 or any AA literature that says anything about doing anything with "dignity and grace".....I can't wait to tell the BB thumpers about that in the saturday noon meeting....yeah i am a trouble maker (grin)

I just wanna fooking do it...the heck with how i look :)

Off to my meeting in a minite....anyone want to stop by for coffee later I'll be back late :ghug

Hi folks, coming outta my post binge, vacancy now. It's kinda usual for me to take a few days to work out who I am again. But confidence is returning, a sense of direction and place. (But I'm trying so hard to not think it's inevitable that I relapse again).

Over the last 3 1/2 years, whilst I've been obsessed with stopping drinking.
I've analysed all my triggers, thought they were isolated and wouldn't trip me again, but though a subsequent relapse is never set off by the same factors as the prior one, I am in a long cycle of repetitive behavior.

It's getting better but it's excruciatingly slow. I know in my heart, I don't have a bender in me that can last more than a month now. The guilt and depression are so ingrained, the pattern always so similar, and my health plummets so fast, psychosomatically driven or not, that my binges are getting shorter and shorter. I'm repulsed by comparitively, tiny amounts of chaos these days.

(Sorry I'm a wordy g1t tonight :rolleyes: )

So, end of day 6, no cravings, just twinges. From past experience, I'll go from strength to strength before, weeks from now, being blindsided by something random or my own thought train. I should post when this happens, it makes sense, you've all said it.
I've got to overcome the feeling that I'm whining or moaning, being a burden on folk, though that's never occurred to me when anyone else reaches out.

Perhaps it's self sabotage...:thinking:...hmmm...Hang on, analysis paralysis, snap outta it, Jig.

So, having managed a sober, family, curry at the quite excellent Arhgrah, Indian restaurant, to celebrate my bro's 22nd birthday, I'm emotional again.
Honest, genuine, conflicting and confusing emotions and, you know, they're alright.
No need to pop the first tinny and gradually run from feelings by turning them into boozy, cartoon parodies of themselves.

Tomorrow I start work on an allotment I'm sharing with a mate. I'm looking forward to the toil, we've a huge jungle of brambles and triffids to clear before working out what we're gonna grow (Hopefully not rows of unimaginative spuds)

That's me for now. I really should do this more often.

Take care,

Jig

Good post Jig glad to see you stuck to your word and typed more than a line!

Its great that you still have your family, Im lucky in that respect too, and we probably don't realise how lucky that makes us.

Allotments always sound like a good idea, but oh the hard work, not that I would try and put you off, try and grow some flowers alongside the veg!

Personally I'm going to try some voluntary work, helping other people? What a novel idea, it will never catch on. lol

yeah part of the tricky part of this thing is that my mind can find new creative ways to slip that drinking thinking in...can make it look like a new thought a new persepective or even something spiritual.

I think the lowest low when it comes to excuses that i've had is when i decided that if I were spiritually fit I could drink and it would have an effect on me anymore...course no one else in my budhist group new I was alchoholic, so they thought nothing of sharing the bottle with me....and then after the retreat i went home and retreated into the alchohol.

I always liked that saying ... you can't unring the bell...i mean that sums up the recovery path to me...once you know you just can't not know...in your heart...sorta takes the fun outa the drink or drug you know.

I struggle with emotions alot...when i was doing my meditation regularly I did alot better with them.. I had to sit and live with the pain and fear and sadness...but then I learned to watch the feelings, "be with them" (i know that sounds corny) but not just jump in and let them throw me against the rocks and drown me. Not sure how it happened but zazen really helped me to find a way through it. I also remember several sits where i got the giggles and those meditiations were just about laughter...now i wont talk about the farting sits (am i allowed to say that)

Anyhow Jiggy...I'm alot like you in that I feel like an idiot and totaly like an outcast when i reach out for help...like i shouldn't like its "hurting" others..I mean I HATE it.....but i'm sure everyone sees me do it all the time (LOL) Cause if i don't let things out and talk about it I don't know how to get through it...i use to say i was an oral processor, now i would say waht...not verbal...just need words...if i don't express it somehow I can't make since of things and get on...

course i suppose what gets me and keeps me sober might get someone else drunk....we all have different personalities and different things work for different people...but I just have to give a good try to some different things and then learn from my own expereinces what works for me.

glad people are posting again :) I'm addicted to you guys....I see alanon in my future (grin)

what ever

Hey all :ghug

Just saying hi. I have been really busy the last few days, working extra hours at work. I have now got some sort of eye infection!

Off to do some shopping soon then sorting ponies. Will be back later if anyone is around :)

Whatever??

What is this whatever stuff?

I may give up all the time, but I never say whatever?

Continue:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2129211