For all those posting here, especially Helpwanted101, I thank you and appreciate you all.

My niece has been cutting and is now hospitalized due to a suicide attempt. She's extremely depressed right now.

I am sending some of these posts to my sister. She is in need of information. I hope you don't mind, but you are helping others right now.

Thanks, helpwanted101! You are loved for being you right now. HUGS

Love, hugs, and peace,

going through alot.. i am here at home. i have like no friends and at school i had some. but i had to go home for summer. then my friends at my last schoool are fading away

help,

These are some things I hear in your recent posts.

"I am going through a lot"..yes, GOING through! That is a sign that you are DOING it! Yes it's hard, and sounds like it's taking a lot of effort but you ARE doing it, moving through, moving forward. Awesome.

Also, though there is pain and loss involved, you have spoken a great deal lately about friends. I am glad you have people in your life that you call friends. You are capable of making friends and of being a caring friend. That is a lot. A gift.

I have lost many important relationships in my life lately due to a number of varying circumstances, and that is painful and often frightening but knowing I am capable of having and being a friend means that I will make more friends.

We cannot always avoid pain, but our willingness and ability to move through it are critical.

Pain = unavoidable

Suffering = pain x resistance.

The not fighting part of it I am still learning to make a habit, but what has helped me is saying "yes" to everything I experience rather than saying "no" and fighting it. I am not saying it is acceptable or that I want it, but I am signifying it is there and a part of my reality. Yesterday I was feeling super anxious and miserable and the thought came up to hurt myself really briefly. First I said "no" angrily against it and then I said "yes" you are a part of me. Funny enough the feeling dissipates. Our dark sides win when we try to ignore it or fight against it. When I tell it "yes, I see you're there, but no thank you to your suggestion I get drunk right now." It's all about setting boundaries and I can't set boundaries with my dark impulses and feelings by running away from them or fighting, as it just gives them more power.

I'm not saying you're doing that. help, I think you're doing the best you can under the circumstances, but remember that depression, anxiety, sadness, anger are all perspectives and they can be changed. Exercise helps me a lot. As far as going through grief, it is something we have to go through, but it's easier the more nurturing we can be to ourselves and others.

i have a hormone imbalance and was put on medication

help, was that what the ultrasound was about? Have you noticed any positive effects from your meds?

Clay, I had some of those " I wanna cut" moments today....I was frustrated, tired, hurt by a friends behavior and I just wanted OUT....then my sober self said "eh, you don't want to cut, you want to feel ok about things."

so, set about strategizing how to work toward that.

reframing is real important to me.

also, this morning I did a meditation on the Tarot card "The Devil"...and it's about the very things you talk about in your post.

The symbolism on the Devil card is very interesting, two people "bound" in chains...but the collars are wide, they could lift them off if they chose to.

I don't use Tarot cards for divination, but I do find the stories and symbols in the cards very useful for my recovery.

this is my story. umm. it all started in elemtary school.i was really depressed and sick all the time. none of my docters knew what was wrong with me. i was on depression meds and ADD meds. but i was also always having these serve tmmy aches. my Dr didnt believe me and i was stuck with them. in 3rd grade i was crying all the time. i was getting sent to the principles office. all the time. and in 5th grade i started si. 7th grade. i was si ing so much it was an al the time thing. i was trying to break me fingers. i was bruising my body i wasnt happy. and i also said my parents were abusing me. and one day i said to my girl gym class why dont u just kill me... i was stopped in the hallway all the time with someone asking me if i was straving myself bc i was insanley skinny. i was aked that at least once or twice a week. i started to believe it too. my 8th grade year i had surgery and i was forced to use crutches when i started schoool. i was called a faker bc i was on them for almost half the school year. people were so mean. and my closest friends started to believe i was faking too. the said i depended on them for too much. but hey i was on crutches and i had my wrist in a cast too so i was kinda couldnt do anything. and my gym teacher was verbally abuseing me too. high school started and i started cutting bc nothing else was heling. people found out bc they saw the cuts. 10th grade i started trying to kill myself. and i was still cutting to. 11th grade i was still cutting and no one knew or was helping me. my junior year i was almost raped by a guy and my parents didnt want me to tell or got me help for it. my 12th grade year i was still cutting and depressed and the college search stared. i got into one college in the fall. and i ended up in the hospital after my last marching band contest bc i stopped breathing and i passed out and i got really sick. i was in the hospitlal for 3 days and sick at home for 4 days. we found out in janurary that my body doesnt retain water and that i could pass out again if i dont drink enough. so i struggle with that in the last few weeks of high school we got a new student in band. she hated me for idk why but a couple of times she accused me of cheeting so i just shrugged it off. then one day she did it again and i defened myself. she called me several names and i grabbed my stuff and walked out if the room. then later that day i was called down to the office and the asst prinpcile asked if i hit that girl out there. so i walked out there and there she sat. i walked back in there and said i didnt do aything to her. she gave herself a fat lip and accused me of punching her. then i was getting threatening texts from here\ so i showed thenm to the school officer. and then one saturday her dad came to my house and said i said i was going to bring a knife to church and stab her. hello i am doing nothing to her. so i graduate. and i leave my church where she goes to. and i go t a different church.now. i got into an amazing christian college. which i was still cutting and i knew of other people who were cutting to but i was the one who got kicked out. i am verbally and emotionally abused at home. home life sucks. i have been raped, sexually, verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by 8 guys in 3 years. i havent taken my prozac in 4 months, and havent cut in 5 months,.

Cutting class is not the way to go. Just hang in there. Soon the semester will be over. Just do what you can to finish as strong as possible.

i am in college now and i never had a cutting class

Why did you stop taking your Prozac? Did a doctor tell you to? I know in my experience taking psych meds it's unhelpful for your health to just stop taking it unless advised by a doctor. I'm sorry you're going through all this stuff. These years are/were tumultous for many of us, so things will get easier and better. Congrats for not cutting in so long. Going through all this, I understand how big an achievement that is. It means you're getting stronger. How have you kept from cutting?

so tired of getting insulted. :whoop

Who's insulting you?

so we think i have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. look it up

I'm sorry you're going through this. I ended up cutting and burning myself today. I hope you are able to abstain from doing that and find other ways to cope.

i just want to give up. i am tired of trying,]. it suck=h an effort to be happy anymore. with in the insults coming from my parts and having to smile at work.:wild:c020::scorebad

help, perhaps the problem is you're trying to be happy. I would say stop trying to be happy and stop trying to resist the pain and depression and let it wash over you. It can't hurt or kill you. One thing I do when I'm feeling a lot of pain is I just say "yes" to it in my head and often things get better. I don't who is insulting you, but I've found they only do damage to me when I believe in what they are saying. They're likely insulting you because they are hurting and their inner judges are insulting them. You're the only one who can really judge you. When that happens to me, I try to take a good look at why people's insults bother me. Usually it's because I'm afraid what they are saying is true, but then I remind myself I know better.

this morning i woked alone untill 11. then my co worker came in and he came in and he was in a bad mood. and i was engraving. he took all his bad mood onto me. started insulting me for for all my flaws and putting me down. the i couldnt read his hand writting he wrot this thing that looked like a K but i couldnt tell if it was a K or an R so i asked him what it was. he got really mad and raised his voice and told its obvios and i said if it was a obvious i would be asked then he slamed down a drill and started cussing at me. told me it was a R and started cussing some more at me. i went back to engraveing and at that point i was on the verge of tears. and had to wait another 30 mins until another co worker came in and then i told he i am taking my break. i was walking to the break down and once i got in i broke down. when i got back from my break the same this i asked what letter it was and he told me R was a K. when i got home my parents decided to cuss me out and insult me and call me many things.....and did it again just a little bit ago..

and clay i am not trying to be happy i am trying to live life

Yep sometimes that's all you can do and sometimes that's enough. Try not to believe too much in the insults they're throwing at you, though I know how hard it is when it is your parents. You are much greater than anyone else thinks.

4 months without cutting