Hi ZB-
Have you read any of the "stickies" at the top of the 1st page of this forum?
Here's two that might help you and H to realize you can stop takng brothers behavior personally.
It's a counterintuitive lesson - but I had to learn it too- because of the nature of alcoholism and addiction every time I chose to "help" my brothers (bail, money, pay their bills, place to crash, listen to their rants or weepy apologies, etc.) I was ACTUALLY helping the disease that is trying to kill them! I might as well have been handing them a scotch and soda.
AlAnon helped me turn my head around...it was a lifesaver!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-clearer.html
peace,
b