Thank you - I love them very much.

Dale died clean - he fought the demon and won. There is something powerful about that and it was one of his greatest desires - to free himself from that addiction. He did that!!!

Here is a special tribute to Dale - I love this poem:

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
to laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at close of day.
If my parting has left a void
then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
ah yes these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I've savored much,
good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and share with me
God wanted me now,
He set me free
:candle6D:

That is a very nice poem, I love candles also

I also didn't grow up in that kind of family as Begin's wonderful family photo. I wished I had that too. I also had nothing but bickering...terrible memories.

Beautiful poem, Begin. I loved it. I have a tremondous amount of respect for Dale. His words I cannot forget...when he said he saw the stars clearer and clearer at night...i knew he wasn't going to make it.

Its very unfortunate about these addiction/recovery boards out there. Unfortunately, you post to people and you get to know them. Then suddenly they die either by ODing or something like what happened to Dale. It is so sad and it makes me really wonder if that was truly gods way- for them to want to be clean so bad by coming anonymously online and pouring their hearts out because nobody can understand addiction exepct another addict.

It is just another wake up call for everybody. I have seen this too many times now when good people just seem to go so suddently. Life is so unfair.....

Light one in your room tonight for a while. Do it as a tribute. Sit down and write out all the things we've talked about in our PM's tonight and anything else that you need to write out. It will make you feel better.


:grouphug:

You can break the cycle in your families. I grew up promising myself that I would not live that way when I was an adult. I haven't - I do have a wonderful husband and two great kids. I'm not perfect - I guess in some ways I turned all that pain inwards and probably that is why I became addicted to drugs. But every generation has a chance to do things differently and my kids have it much better than I ever did - I feel like I accomplished my goal so far.

It makes me cry

Tears are good sometimes. Trust me!! Cry until you can't cry anymore - don't bottle it up - write it down and cry. You will feel better. I promise.

I am trying to maintain but its hard, its all like a dream. Agent I sent you a message and it says your box is too full to except ?

That is very admirable. I say the same thing Begin, but sometimes, its like I can't get away from that. I want to do better for my family but it seems I fall back to how my family is. Although, my daughter's life is much better than my own childhood, I still feel like I messed up because of my divorce. I feel so much guilt from that. You're right about turning into drugs for that inner pain.

Makes me want to cry too.

Like it didn't even happen does that make sence ?

Makes perfect sense. Hasn't sunk in yet. It's still pretty fresh. Time will heal.

I'm sorry ladies I have to go for a while. Almost my daughters bedtime. I'll check in later or in the morning.

Jen - get some sleep honey and try what I said. Write, write write...let those tears flow. It's therapeutic. Trust me.

Jen- I cleared my mailbox. sorry, you can resend now. bye beginagain..big kiss for your daughter.

Hi Jen and Agent,

How are you two doing tonight?

Agent, it has been awhile since we have talked!

Jen, How are you sweetie? Are you feeling any better?

Valleygurl...I just sent you a PM. I love this board....much better than the evil HB people out there. I detoxing now off some minor (30mg a day) vicodin right now. I had to use that to get off the other stuff- if you know what I mean. Today is Day1 and its been OK. I'm feeling OK

Jen got hip to the PM and she's been PMing like crazy. We've been on for like 3 hours talking! She is a very sweet girl - a little confused but very sweet nonetheless.

Good to see you here though Valleygurl...really. MIssed you girlfriend!

Agent how are you today?? Stick with it girl!! You can do this and before long you will be free!! :dance6:

hi janet

Hi jen!! Good morning. Hope you are okay this morning. :)

I am alot better then yesterday and better then the day before

Great. Time will heal. It will just take some time to come to terms with everything that has happened. You have been through alot lately. Focus on moving forward now. Do something good for yourself every day and don't worry about the attorney anymore. I am sure that Dale has left something for you as a thank you for everything you did for him. YOu are not in trouble - you haven't done anything but be a friend. Dale appreciated your friendship and concern and I know that you gave him much comfort.

hi valley are you on there

Hi Jen, YES..... I am here! Are you still there? I somehow managed to screw up my background on here so now i have to fix it! Did you get my email i sent to you? Let me know ok???

Janet.....Hi there! How are you today? I am going to write to you here in a little bit, ok? Maybe we will both be online at the same time and we can just PM each other. I really do have soooo much to say and to talk about....and really no one to talk to. So it would really be nice to talk to you and to share. That is of course if you dont mind????

Talk soon my friends,
Valley