I’m an alcoholic
 

Basically just that. Have had to tell work which might not be the greatest idea but had no one else to help me and probably had suspicions anyway. I think they’ll be understanding but the problem is I now have get sober as doubt their sympathy will be unlimited. How the hell do I start? I’ve been drinking heavily for 25 years and has basically been my life up until now even though it’s close to ruining or even ending it

It just seems impossible to me at the moment. I’m easily bored and as soon as the booze wears off I have the most hideous anxiety attacks so then take a drink to take the edge off it. I’m going insane and must have all sorts of mental health issues caused by the booze. Actually got diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder but know it’s probably mainly down to the booze

It’s gonna seem impossible but you can do it…we were all there at some point…Title of tour thread caught my attention. I’ve said the same thing at one point. Finally had to realize who I was and what i was doing to myself.

And the anxiety ☹️ … yeah.

Also quit several times and relapsed just as much. You can do it. Don’t give up.

:grouphug:

hi and welcome Dionysos :)
I think it feels impossible to not drink for many of us but support really helps, and you'll find a lot of that here.

All of is were where you are now...change really is possible.

I hope you'll stick around :)

D

I went to an inpatient rehab facility for 5 weeks the first time I decided to get sober. With 25 years of heavy drinking, you will need to consult a doctor to be detoxed. Alcohol withdrawal is very serious and cause seizures, even death. A doctor can give you options for detoxing.

Your boredom caught my attention, because this was the reason I gave counselors who asked why I drank. Now I was bored a good deal of the time I'll admit, but after I got sober, I realized my problem was addiction. In fact, for reasons I don't understand very well, I no longer feel boredom like I did before. It's more of a rarity than an integral part of my life, and the idea of drinking when I get that way no longer makes sense to me. When you think about it, drinking day after day when there are other things to do is bound to get boring.

But as to recovering from this mess, SR is a good place to start. For most of us that made it, we found the support and the access to the experience and knowledge of others to be helpful, and in some cases necessary. I would recommend reading threads, and collecting information, because there is much about how to recover you can learn here. Get to know us, and let us get to know you. There are two reasons we come to this forum; Either we need help, or we wish to help others who need help.

Stupidly I’m losing faith i can be successful before I’ve even stated. Not even sure if I’m read yet which is sheer madnesses? Do I really have to get worse before I’m motivated enough to get better. It’s prettty terrifying at the moment. My brother is further down the road to damage and just know I’ll be the same if I don’t stop as I’m getting worse and worse myself

I’m aware I will probably have to taper but makes it almost harder. Probably physically addicted now but was only a month ago when I was hardly drinking anything. Was at my parent though. It’s as soon as I’m back living alone I get straight back on it full throttle after thinking I can stay on that level. Need to realise I can’t do that. Because I’m an alcoholic and it’s stop or drinking myself to death. Need to fully convince myself this but still in self pity mode. No one is going to dig me out the hole though except me

If I lose my job I’ll just get worse. If that’s possible. Suppose it is as have my brother to look at

This is often stated in alcoholic recovery circles, but I never believed it. For me it was like I quit when I could no longer take it anymore, and it sounds like you are way past that point right now. In truth, we quit when we quit. It's not going to get easier when it gets worse, because no matter how far down the hole you go, there is always "worse" waiting for you below.... alcoholism is a bottomless pit.

No it doesn't get easier or more doable when you hit some magical bottom. It's always going to require a high level of commitment and some hanging onto your chair for a week.

If you think you need to taper, you should seek medical assistance. If you actually have to taper, you are in a dangerous place. Tapering is done when you are in danger, not a way to make recovery easier.

You can change your life. The drinking can and will stop once you put your mind to it. You are a powerful human being who can change just about anything with tools and with belief. I suffered big time when I was in the throws of active addiction. Anxiety was through the roof and I also thought I was going insane. The GOOD NEWS is that once I quit, and really stayed the course, I got 1000% better. It is not easy. Most things in life are not easy. Sobriety is worthy of our effort. All the work saved my life.

This forum has been an invaluable tool for my recovery from active addiction.
Get a plan. Execute the plan. Day in and day out work the plan. You will find freedom.

Welcome to SR and to your start on a new improved life!

I don't know your situation, but I used t tell myself I had to taper just to avoid actually facing the beast and stopping.
I drank for 30 years and wow I am so glad I have stopped. You may find a lot of that anxiety goes away once you stop.

Welcome to SR!
You CAN quit.

I drank daily for over 30 years.

I found SR Jan. 15th 2020 while drinking, miserable and looking for a way out.
Jan. 16 2020 I just stopped.
I was lucky as I surprisingly had very little withdrawal symptoms.

Boredom, I can't, are all AV keeping you in the cycle of addiction.

Read up on AVRT.
This way of thinking has kept me alcohol free for almost 2 years.

Stick around, read, post but most importantly
Do Not Drink
No Matter What

Here are my suggestions...

I tapered. I only gave myself three days. I went from all day every day drinking (for years 12-20 units a day) to Zero in three days. I used a drink/teensy sip when I felt I was going to lose it. If you find that you can't taper then call a doctor. Many people cannot do it because the lure is too strong to stop once the first drink passes their lips.

A doctor can recommend next steps. It could be as easy as a week's worth of inexpensive meds at home.

Read everything on these forums.

Maybe an AA meeting.

There is a way out. Just don't drink. Simple, not easy. The first couple weeks are pretty tough but all of us in this thread have done it. Therefore, you can too.

It sounds like you're ready. Good luck, we're here. Stick around.

Hi Dionysos. Do you have insurance? My former employer supported rehab (a close friend of mine was struggling) for employees. It may have cost something out of pocket, but perhaps the money you save not drinking would cover this?

Please talk to your physician and keep posting. There are so many wonderful people here that will support you!

Thanks guys. I’ve read a lot on here and know ‘bigger drinkers’ and those who’ve made more ‘substantial’ **** ups have been successful. That’s reassuring to a degree but suppose I was questioning whether you can get out before going down that route. I’m probably being too philosophical and in the bargaining phase. I’ve looked at rehab but really don’t want to do that without the commitment element. Would just be waste of money and do more reputational damage to do that and go straight back on the pop. Might try AA first but have an open mind to rehab. Would just be a mistake to think it’s a magic wand and somebody can effectively do the work for you as even they say that’s not possible even with the money they stand to gain

Feel like I’m on the edge of the void waiting to fall in but the truth is I probably already have and still in midair falling through. I’ve had the suicide idealation stuff as well but is ridiculous as terrified about dying at the same time

Of course. You can quit any time. I'm assuming that since you joined this site and started posting (and identified as an alcoholic) that drinking has caused you pain and suffering and that some losses have occurred. Expect that to get worse, not better. Alcoholism is progressive. This is the best you'll ever get.

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is a whole section of the book entitled, "They Quit in Time," about heavy drinkers who got off the merry go round before they ended up sick or locked up or ruining their careers and relationships. Maybe google that chapter. Unfortunately a lot of people keep going until it is too late or close to disaster (if not actual disaster.)

If drinking is causing any kinds of problems the Solution is stop drinking. You'll never regret it.


You can push that Stop button at any time. Tenth Floor or the Basement. I still had a job, relationships, a home, a car. I am not terminally ill, nor on mental health drugs.

This is your floor, get off while the door is open.

I used to use the term heavy drinker or someone with an alcohol problem but now just say alcoholic as I am pretty much the definition of one. Need to jump out of that lift. Thanks

"Lift?"

Are you in the UK? There are lots of UK alcoholics here! :) I'd like to invite you to join us in the Weekenders, introduce yourself and ask the UK sober alcoholics in that thread to tell you how they quit. I know your medical system is different than mine in the US and tapering is the recommended approach, but if you can't make that work lots of UK alcoholics have quit on their own - mostly cold turkey.

Join us: Weekenders;

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...er-2021-a.html

I could probably do with a heart check up. I’ve had the full investigation years ago when I had my first panic attack and mistook it for about to have a heart attack. Didn’t have any issues then but things can change. It’s likely the booze induced anxiety though. Funnily enough I didn’t have the issue when I cut rapidly down on the drink to almost zero by my standards but no actually zero. Also paranoid about it becoming more prevalent after the covid jab but even I think that’s a stretch being 42 and probably alcohol induced anxiety. Just ramped up as I’ve ramped up my drinking. A doctor absolutely tell me I have to taper owing to my consumption level but they do err on the side of caution and almost have to say that. Still not taking my chances with a cold Turkey attempt. Will probably be able to get to zero safely within a few days though rather than making it a long drawn affair. Had no physical effects a couple of months ago but never did go to zero completely and maxed out at 3 completely alcohol days in row followed by some low alcohol ones

You can quit anytime. Hopefully before too much damage is done.

Amazingly even though I drank and drugged heavy for 3 decades I am perfectly healthy.
Held a career which I retired from. Have had 2 successful businesses and raised a beautiful daughter.

All that and I was still a miserable mess for years.
ALL because of my drinking.
Finally gave it up and now I can actually see all the good in my life.

Do it know man. Don't overanalyze it.
What harm could come from being sober?

Wish I would have done it sooner but I am glad I finally did.

The waiting to leap is the fear-filled part, but I’m glad I made the leap Dionysos :)
You really can get off the crazy train anytime you like…you don’t have to wait until it leaves the tracks and derails.

I realised I could continue to drink…or have the better life I dreamed of…but not both.

One or the other - but not both.

D

I'm so glad you came here, Dionysos. I'd been drinking 30 yrs. & had a ruined life when I found SR. After reading & posting I was able to find the courage to get free. You absolutely can do it. It feels strange at first, but things get so much better - a bit at a time. Be proud of yourself for wanting to reclaim your life.

I think if you go to AA you may be surprised how much you have in common with others. Once you go you might get a jolt of hope. Hope is one of those things that can be more powerful then the ease and comfort of those first few drinks.

Anxiety and depression is what alcohol does. Alcohol is a depressant. Alcohol is supposed to be processed by the body at like one drink per hour or something like that. Once we pile up all those drinks at a time the alcohol spends quite a bit of time in our system. We alcoholics tend to think in the short term. The ease and comfort is only the beginning and only accounts for a fraction of the time alcohol spends in the body. The rest of the time its causing anxiety and depression. Its a trade off of little ease and comfort for much anxiety and depression. It didn't start out that way but over time the ratio gets worse and worse. Less ease and comfort, more anxiety and depression as the years of drinking go on.

Hi Dionysos, welcome to SR.

Stopping drinking sounds terrifying at first. I couldn’t think of not having a drink forever, never. How wrong I was.

As biminiblue mentioned, ‘just don’t drink’. You can learn how to stay stopped here on SR.

Hi Dionysos, welcome to SR.

Stopping drinking sounds terrifying at first. I couldn’t think of not having a drink forever, never. How wrong I was.

As biminiblue mentioned, ‘just don’t drink’. You can learn how to stay stopped here on SR.

Just to give an update, I haven’t drunk for 3 days and had no real urge to do so. I have been staying with my parents though and have always found it easy so the test will be when I return home. Would be interesting to know how many people live alone. I’m already doubting whether I’m an alcoholic or it’s just circumstances but either way going to try and keep it up as can’t see a downside to not drinking compared to drinking. Just need to fill my time with stuff apart from the pub because once I have one big session the anxiety response just sends me into a cycle I can’t get out of without running away

I live alone apart from a couple of relationships along the way where someone else was always in the house, but I never feel lonely, because I have friends who I can depend on. In fact, I like being alone, because I feel less distracted. I suppose there are two sides to that issue, and many people are actually distracted by alone-ness.

I've wondered if I'm really an alcoholic too, and I know others who wonder the same thing, even though there is no doubt in my mind that they are alcoholics. It's probably a more common thought than we realize, because being alcoholics is nothing we ever planned or aspired to.

I've decided the question is mostly academic and irrelevant. Just wondering about it is enough cause for concern and there is no need to go out getting plastered to prove it one way or the other. That question is more likely our AV trying to insert drinking ideas into our vulnerable minds.

You titled your thread, "I'm an alcoholic"

Here is what you said just four days ago:
We call that the Addictive Voice (AV) when the rationalizing starts about drinking at some point in the future. Your addiction will use any and all arguments to get you to drink again.

It's a liar and it is trying to kill you.

Ignore it. I just kept telling myself, "I don't drink, no matter what." Those thoughts and urges do fade away, but it takes a bit longer than four days.