Dionysos

Basically just that. Have had to tell work which might not be the greatest idea but had no one else to help me and probably had suspicions anyway. I think they’ll be understanding but the problem is I now have get sober as doubt their sympathy will be unlimited. How the hell do I start? I’ve been drinking heavily for 25 years and has basically been my life up until now even though it’s close to ruining or even ending it

Dionysos

It just seems impossible to me at the moment. I’m easily bored and as soon as the booze wears off I have the most hideous anxiety attacks so then take a drink to take the edge off it. I’m going insane and must have all sorts of mental health issues caused by the booze. Actually got diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder but know it’s probably mainly down to the booze

Introvrtd1

It’s gonna seem impossible but you can do it…we were all there at some point…Title of tour thread caught my attention. I’ve said the same thing at one point. Finally had to realize who I was and what i was doing to myself.

And the anxiety ☹️ … yeah.

Also quit several times and relapsed just as much. You can do it. Don’t give up.

Dee74

hi and welcome Dionysos
I think it feels impossible to not drink for many of us but support really helps, and you'll find a lot of that here.

All of is were where you are now...change really is possible.

I hope you'll stick around

D

Wastinglife

I went to an inpatient rehab facility for 5 weeks the first time I decided to get sober. With 25 years of heavy drinking, you will need to consult a doctor to be detoxed. Alcohol withdrawal is very serious and cause seizures, even death. A doctor can give you options for detoxing.

DriGuy

Your boredom caught my attention, because this was the reason I gave counselors who asked why I drank. Now I was bored a good deal of the time I'll admit, but after I got sober, I realized my problem was addiction. In fact, for reasons I don't understand very well, I no longer feel boredom like I did before. It's more of a rarity than an integral part of my life, and the idea of drinking when I get that way no longer makes sense to me. When you think about it, drinking day after day when there are other things to do is bound to get boring.

But as to recovering from this mess, SR is a good place to start. For most of us that made it, we found the support and the access to the experience and knowledge of others to be helpful, and in some cases necessary. I would recommend reading threads, and collecting information, because there is much about how to recover you can learn here. Get to know us, and let us get to know you. There are two reasons we come to this forum; Either we need help, or we wish to help others who need help.

Dionysos

Stupidly I’m losing faith i can be successful before I’ve even stated. Not even sure if I’m read yet which is sheer madnesses? Do I really have to get worse before I’m motivated enough to get better. It’s prettty terrifying at the moment. My brother is further down the road to damage and just know I’ll be the same if I don’t stop as I’m getting worse and worse myself

Dionysos

I’m aware I will probably have to taper but makes it almost harder. Probably physically addicted now but was only a month ago when I was hardly drinking anything. Was at my parent though. It’s as soon as I’m back living alone I get straight back on it full throttle after thinking I can stay on that level. Need to realise I can’t do that. Because I’m an alcoholic and it’s stop or drinking myself to death. Need to fully convince myself this but still in self pity mode. No one is going to dig me out the hole though except me

Dionysos

If I lose my job I’ll just get worse. If that’s possible. Suppose it is as have my brother to look at

DriGuy

This is often stated in alcoholic recovery circles, but I never believed it. For me it was like I quit when I could no longer take it anymore, and it sounds like you are way past that point right now. In truth, we quit when we quit. It's not going to get easier when it gets worse, because no matter how far down the hole you go, there is always "worse" waiting for you below.... alcoholism is a bottomless pit.

No it doesn't get easier or more doable when you hit some magical bottom. It's always going to require a high level of commitment and some hanging onto your chair for a week.

If you think you need to taper, you should seek medical assistance. If you actually have to taper, you are in a dangerous place. Tapering is done when you are in danger, not a way to make recovery easier.

Mizz

You can change your life. The drinking can and will stop once you put your mind to it. You are a powerful human being who can change just about anything with tools and with belief. I suffered big time when I was in the throws of active addiction. Anxiety was through the roof and I also thought I was going insane. The GOOD NEWS is that once I quit, and really stayed the course, I got 1000% better. It is not easy. Most things in life are not easy. Sobriety is worthy of our effort. All the work saved my life.

This forum has been an invaluable tool for my recovery from active addiction.
Get a plan. Execute the plan. Day in and day out work the plan. You will find freedom.

Welcome to SR and to your start on a new improved life!

dustyfox

I don't know your situation, but I used t tell myself I had to taper just to avoid actually facing the beast and stopping.
I drank for 30 years and wow I am so glad I have stopped. You may find a lot of that anxiety goes away once you stop.

fishkiller

Welcome to SR!
You CAN quit.

I drank daily for over 30 years.

I found SR Jan. 15th 2020 while drinking, miserable and looking for a way out.
Jan. 16 2020 I just stopped.
I was lucky as I surprisingly had very little withdrawal symptoms.

Boredom, I can't, are all AV keeping you in the cycle of addiction.

Read up on AVRT.
This way of thinking has kept me alcohol free for almost 2 years.

Stick around, read, post but most importantly
Do Not Drink
No Matter What

biminiblue

Here are my suggestions...

I tapered. I only gave myself three days. I went from all day every day drinking (for years 12-20 units a day) to Zero in three days. I used a drink/teensy sip when I felt I was going to lose it. If you find that you can't taper then call a doctor. Many people cannot do it because the lure is too strong to stop once the first drink passes their lips.

A doctor can recommend next steps. It could be as easy as a week's worth of inexpensive meds at home.

Read everything on these forums.

Maybe an AA meeting.

There is a way out. Just don't drink. Simple, not easy. The first couple weeks are pretty tough but all of us in this thread have done it. Therefore, you can too.

It sounds like you're ready. Good luck, we're here. Stick around.

GramCracker25

Hi Dionysos. Do you have insurance? My former employer supported rehab (a close friend of mine was struggling) for employees. It may have cost something out of pocket, but perhaps the money you save not drinking would cover this?

Please talk to your physician and keep posting. There are so many wonderful people here that will support you!

Dionysos

Thanks guys. I’ve read a lot on here and know ‘bigger drinkers’ and those who’ve made more ‘substantial’ **** ups have been successful. That’s reassuring to a degree but suppose I was questioning whether you can get out before going down that route. I’m probably being too philosophical and in the bargaining phase. I’ve looked at rehab but really don’t want to do that without the commitment element. Would just be waste of money and do more reputational damage to do that and go straight back on the pop. Might try AA first but have an open mind to rehab. Would just be a mistake to think it’s a magic wand and somebody can effectively do the work for you as even they say that’s not possible even with the money they stand to gain

Dionysos

Feel like I’m on the edge of the void waiting to fall in but the truth is I probably already have and still in midair falling through. I’ve had the suicide idealation stuff as well but is ridiculous as terrified about dying at the same time

biminiblue

Of course. You can quit any time. I'm assuming that since you joined this site and started posting (and identified as an alcoholic) that drinking has caused you pain and suffering and that some losses have occurred. Expect that to get worse, not better. Alcoholism is progressive. This is the best you'll ever get.

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is a whole section of the book entitled, "They Quit in Time," about heavy drinkers who got off the merry go round before they ended up sick or locked up or ruining their careers and relationships. Maybe google that chapter. Unfortunately a lot of people keep going until it is too late or close to disaster (if not actual disaster.)

If drinking is causing any kinds of problems the Solution is stop drinking. You'll never regret it.


You can push that Stop button at any time. Tenth Floor or the Basement. I still had a job, relationships, a home, a car. I am not terminally ill, nor on mental health drugs.

This is your floor, get off while the door is open.

Dionysos

I used to use the term heavy drinker or someone with an alcohol problem but now just say alcoholic as I am pretty much the definition of one. Need to jump out of that lift. Thanks

biminiblue

"Lift?"

Are you in the UK? There are lots of UK alcoholics here! I'd like to invite you to join us in the Weekenders, introduce yourself and ask the UK sober alcoholics in that thread to tell you how they quit. I know your medical system is different than mine in the US and tapering is the recommended approach, but if you can't make that work lots of UK alcoholics have quit on their own - mostly cold turkey.

Join us: Weekenders;

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...er-2021-a.html (Horses for Courses - Weekenders 15 - 18 October 2021)