“Is it worth sweating the small stuff” - Weekenders 09 - 12 July 2021
 

Welcome to the Weekenders



This week could’ve, would’ve been a disaster for me if I’d been drinking.



A water leak, scrambling to find it, carpets and floor boards hurriedly pulled up. Then the allergies and asthma flare up because of upheaval (small as it was).



On top of that the plumber didn’t arrive and didn’t even give me a lame excuse, well basically ignored my text.



In the past I would’ve immediately turned to drink. I would’ve deserved it, I’d tell myself. But the drink would’ve added stress to the day and it would’ve been ‘woe is me’, the world hates me, I can’t cope.



Instead it is something I can put right myself. I can find another plumber, it’s a bit of an inconvenience for us for a few days but not worth drinking over. I have my meds for allergies/asthma, so it’s ok.



I know many of you will have been in similar or worse situations and have not turned to booze for the solutions. There’s zero answers in the bottom of a bottle.



Drinking, we know only exacerbates our problem.



I’ve borrowed the following text from one of many of Dee’s inspiring posts. Thanks Dee.



Illusions is one of my favourite books by Richard Bach.

It's actually the first place I read 'don't sweat the small stuff'.



I recommend it to anybody if you can find a copy.



He also writes:

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.”

― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

I struggled with that for a long time (still not sure I seek problems but I can take good from them, lol).

The gift of my problems this week was to remind me of the good things in my life...and to remind me that others in this world are *really* suffering.

Thanks Mags, I'm in and shotgun too!?

thanks Mags :tyou

Thanks Mags for that worthy reminder in the OP :)
Well done on Shotgun !
And BTW i'm in too.

Congratulations on shotgun Reid :c011:

Vinny I like your new avatar (you’re gonna tell me it’s been there weeks now and I only noticed it yesterday :lol:)

Hi Andy

Its still one of my favourite books :)
thanks for the new thread Mags :)

D

I’m going to order it for my kindle Dee, love reading. Thank you.

Thanks Mags. Hope the plumber turns up today. I understand people get held up but I never understand why they don't let you know.

I am a natural born worrier, always have been and always will. I can't help it. I stress if I lose a sock! Panic sets in with anything more major than that.

Planning on a long walk today, hip is still giving me some pain but manageable. Fitness is declining, been avoiding steep hills so going to try and push myself. Walk off some stress and some of the chocolate I keep munching. :rolleyes2

Thanks Mags :tyou

I'm IN for another sober weekend! A sporting weekend too, with the final of the Euros (come on England!) ⚽ and Wimbledon 🎾. Plus the Tour de France and no doubt other sports too. It's going to be exhausting just watching it all on TV!

Enjoy your walk Kaily, hope your hip doesn’t cause too much pain. I used to stress over things out of my control and the little stuff. I’m a lot better nowadays. If I stress out it sets the asthma off so I’ve learnt breathing exercises fo4 the asthma and gratitude for the good stuff.

Robbie, it’s a big ask on Sunday, I hope they stay focused and come through it. I find our competitors can be melodramatic :dunno:

Wise words, Mags.
This week- I have had one' friend' who told me on her moving far away her new fridge was mine and she would keep in contact as I was a close friend. Three months later- a brief text saying the fridge was given away. No other contacts.
- Another 'friend' terminated the friendship as we had nothing in common and my numerous faults were not worth listing. Which means the entire friendship was a lie.
These incidence cause me to feel like an idiot...stupid and unworldly.
- Some one has put 4 long, deep scratches on my car- and just driven away. I cannot afford to repair them...

BUT
- My drawing skills have definitely improved with much tortuous practice..
- I received a distinction for a theory/paintingsubject that 3y ago, I would have scraped a pass.
- I received a credit for the history subject. I have great difficulties with words and numbers- due to cognitive damage cause by burns trauma, etcetc. This progress means my brain is still learning/healing

I worked hard on what I could learn from my 2 friends....I did nothing ever to distress them greatly and do not harbor resentments- but sad and anger at being treated as a fool. I can only work on me- an the lives of others are not my concern.
We work with what we have.

PJ, you’ve done nothing to upset your friends. You aren’t responsible for their actions. I recall I read many times on SR to keep my own side of the street clean. Yes it hurts when a friend behaves in such a manner but it’s not because of you. It’s their problem. And to be honest, true friends don’t behave that way,
Congratulations on your success and achievements PJ. You should be proud. I’m proud of you. :You_Rock_

Thanks for this new chapter Mags!
I sweat a lot on small stuff and it's something I have to work on...

The book "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" from Richard Bach is now on my to-read-list
I found out Richard Bach is also the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a classic from the 70s...
It was also a movie, one of my favorite zen flick with Harold and Maude.

Have a good day Weekenders ☼

Hi CK, I have Jonathan Livingstone Seagull. I’d forgotten the author. :dunno:

I am in for a sober weekend. This will be my second in a row. That has not happened since the start of March. I am just so enjoying being sober again and sober weekends are so much better than the alternative, thats for sure.

PJ, it's such a shame when people do hurtful things, which sometimes seems to be inevitable. I tend to be very resentful.

Kaily, I worry about things also, like if a tool has been misplaced, or if I can't immediately find a certain pair of work pants.

Thanks Mags. I'm in.

I am going to look for that book at the library today. Sounds great. And no, it is definitely not worth it to sweat the small stuff, or the big stuff for that matter.

Good to see you Phil :wave:

Hiya countrystix and sober369, good to see you both :)

In for another sober weekend!

Thanks Mags, I think your OP applies universally.

PhoenixJ you are neither stupid nor unworldly, those people were duplicitous and they have lost a friend whereas you have only lost their duplicity. Other people do not realise how hard it is to get sober let alone the other things you have had to go through. You represent the best of us.

As Robbie mentioned, England are through to the final of the UEFA 2020 soccer competition. I wonder how much additional alcohol will be consumed here as a result?

Thanks for the opener, Mags.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff...that's the name of another book I bought in early sobriety but I haven't gotten around to reading it :) I LOVED Illusions. I read it almost 50 years ago. I supposed I could read it again, I'm guessing I've forgotten most of it. All the spiritual books are helpful in one way or another, but that, "Reluctant Messiah," thing was genius. Bach was genius, I guess.

PJ, I'm so sorry those people were so thoughtless. I'm frequently disappointed by people. We're pretty awful sometimes - all of us. I find it's not usually about me, it's about them. I very rarely call someone a friend, though. Acquaintances, I've got many of those. Some of them I spend time with regularly. I've kind of learned to pre-forgive them because I know they will do something at some point. I even have a mental visual image of it...

I hope they'll forgive me, too. It's just a matter of time!

I clipped this from some place on the internet, don't know where:

Bim, I like the quote. My problem was I forgave too much and made excuses for people’s manner to me constantly. I think it’s seeing my mum forgiving my dad after each drunken bout and mental cruelty he put upon us. Going to leave him then staying.
So I was used to picking partnerships and friends who were bad for me. Except when I met Hubby. He’s completely different. He’s a good person. I’m not sure how that happened but I’m glad he stuck around to see me sober.

Well, sure. "Fool me once," and all that.

There is a balance between doormat and self-confidence. Women are mostly brought up to be submissive and to, "go along." That's a useful strategy - sometimes.

Either way there are difficulties. I was raised to be a complete doormat; my mother was raised the same way. I fought it all the way. In general I still think it's better to forgive - what I've learned as an adult is that I don't always have to stay in a relationship after someone treats me badly. I can forgive you from a safe distance!

We have just got home, long lovely hilly and tiring walk.

https://i.postimg.cc/DZdHxSz7/IMG-20...102744-527.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/635fNq0W/IMG-20...114911-543.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/g0MNj3rX/IMG-20...114550-373.jpg

Kaily, your pictures look like a dream. I'd love to ride my horses down that lane! Thank you for sharing! :hug:
Mags, thank you for the new thread! :tyou You are a dreamboat! I hope all is well with you.
I'm in. Taking my mom to the podiatrist today, soon, very early here! I hope we get good news.
Love you all. Have a great day! :grouphug:

Best one I've seen this morning

https://i.postimg.cc/W15hrVVT/20210708-101931.jpg

Love the pictures Kaily!

It oseems o me that people should be respectful of others irregardless of sex, race, etc.

Hello everyone, I’m in for a sober weekend...will be waking up on Saturday with 365 days alcohol free under my belt.

I love the book “don’t sweat the small stuff” I tend to skip all the alcohol addiction books as I found the quite triggering and read a lot of personal and professional development books. Successful habits, gratitude, RAS and affirmations etc

anyway off to celebrate my year of freedom with a trip to Bath this weekend with the family..

Magsnificent, thanks for the new thread and, as always, relevant Opening Post.

Bim, prepackaged forgiveness - what an interesting concept - a good one to,adopt; thanks for that quote.

Kaily, lovely photos, as always.

Haris, congrats on one year; well done, you.

CityBoy, love that pic. :lmao

Aly, hope all goes well today for your Mom.

Vman - I love your avatar, too; I meant to mention it yesterday.

Mags, I lucked out with a really good guy, too.

Robbie, fingers crossed for England.

Dragon, tough loss for Montreal; I was silently rooting for them for you and CK. Had to be silent, someone may have put a hockey puck in my mouth.

Sao, great pic; I really enjoyed my time in Bath.

:wave:, least, Reid, andyh, Dee, Sober53.

PhoenixJ, my dear friend, I agree wholeheartedly with what the others have said above. You are one of my favorite people. Those friends were not friends from the beginning; they were imposters. The loss of your friendship is truly their loss. I am so sorry that you are hurting. We share your hurt.

Great pics Kaily, after a wet June everywhere is still nice and green.

I hope you have better luck with the replacement plumber Mags.

Welcome Haris, congratulations on (almost) a year! Bath is a very handsome city, this is a bit of it from late March 2020, the last time I left London for several months as the national lockdown was imposed a couple of days later.