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Has anyone else started without a plan? I’ve thought often about quitting (for years and years), and have made half-hearted attempts that lasted for a couple of days, but last Saturday, I just stopped. Sunday was the same, and so on. Today is day six and other than feeling headachy and just-weird (hot and cold, intermittent nausea), I think I could be mostly ok with this. I feel like I can keep going, but I’m worried that I don’t have any sort of plan in place. I’d always figured when I stopped, it would be gradual and plotted. I’m pretty sure if I told friends I didn’t feel like drinking, most would just shrug and accept it (a lot of my friends don’t drink, or rarely). I’ve never told anyone about my nightly (or more) bottle of wine. I’ve been functioning at this level for a long time and it’s rarely interfered with getting to work. It has, however, wreaked havoc on personal decisions. And I hate the feeling of furtiveness and deception around it. I have no intention of going to AA. I can’t imagine going into a rehab program. I am marginally open to talking it out with a therapist. But mostly, I’d like to just keep on the path now that I’m on it. Which is why I’m nervous about not having a plan. What should that look like? |
Congrats, Ginniver! You have the beginnings of a plan; don't drink! Don't get me wrong, developing a plan is an important start of staying sober. But stopping today without a plan is better than waiting a week/month/year/decade and continuing to drink while you formulate that plan! Welcome to SR! I expect that this forum will help you a lot to map out where you're taking your sobriety. It's good to have you here with us. |
Thanks MoS— I’ve been part of other forums that helped me work thru some things, so I’m hoping the same will happen here. And I guess I won’t sweat on not having a plan, except to stick with it. |
Hi and welcome Ginniver :) This is the best link I know of for helping you construct the plan thats best for you. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html Posting and reading here regularly will help too. Supports important - it made the difference for me from fits and starts in recovery to permanent abstinence. D |
Thanks Dee! That’s very helpful. Now going to drink some more water and go to sleep! |
Night Night :) D |
Similarly I don't have a plan. Just to stop drinking forever. I'm not going to go to AA or anything like that. This forum is helping so far. |
What do you think a plan entails Mary? D |
Your plan was created the day you said **** it I'm done with this. . pretty much how I was. I stick around here. As well as go to other recovery sites. You tube. Etc. So far this no plan thing has kept me sober for 230 days. I do believe in taking it one day at a time tho. That works for me. So come enjoy this journey with us. ✌ |
Hi Dee My plan is simply not to drink again. I will face up to whatever happens - challenges, temptations etc as courageously as I can. |
Thanks Mary I think having a plan is better than just winging it or simply relying on willpower, A plan doesn't have to be incredibly detailed - but I think everyone faces an opportunity to drink again. I think it's better to have through about that beforehand, than to just blindly stumble into a tough situation. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html D |
Originally Posted by SoberRican
(Post 7337050)
Your plan was created the day you said **** it I'm done with this. . pretty much how I was. I stick around here. As well as go to other recovery sites. You tube. Etc. So far this no plan thing has kept me sober for 230 days. I do believe in taking it one day at a time tho. That works for me. So come enjoy this journey with us. ✌ Just do it. And stick around here. I go to AA meetings too but if AA is not for you then just get on the bus and stop drinking. One day at a time. Don't overcomplicate things and delay sobriety because you need a plan first. A plan is a good thing... until it isn't. |
I found myself loaded with heaps of empty time when I first stopped. It still is the case a bit. I had to find a detailed routine to fill that time. That was my plan. |
Well, I've offered to help out with caring for elderly relative. This will fill up a few evenings and nights per week. Weekends have always been sober anyway due to family commitments. I'm going to meditate and do other spiritual practices daily. Aiming for at least 1 hour exercise daily. I intend to avoid all social events where there will be alcohol for a long time. |
I call sobriety the best decision I ever backed into. Like many here, I had read lots about sobriety before I quit, so was fairly educated on how others found success. My quit day wasn’t planned, it was just the day I decided I was too tired to go on. The plan for me is that I am not bora minus booze. Sobriety was a life change and part of larger personal growth. Over time I took up an ever strenuous exercise routine, cleaned my diet up even further, got back into yoga, and spent more time with DS. I also read here daily or almost, and kept an electronic journal of meaningful words of wisdom and notations about my drinking consequences so I have a reminder if needed. I also delved into the reasons I drank in the first place. Wine was my BFF and go-to comfort and coping. I had to have a plan for what to do instead. I think there are tools people use with great success (AA, therapy, rehab) but those not the only paths. But what is required IMO is an understanding that just eliminating booze doesn’t fix such a deep rooted issue. Best wishes! -bora |
You've already made the most difficult and important plan. You stopped drinking. Now the challenge is to avoid relapse. Only you can answer how you plan to deal with that. There will be thoughts that maybe you can control yourself and have an occasional drink. You'll face stressful times and think it would be ok to self medicate for awhile then get back to sober later. There will be challenges and hurdles. It's a question of commitment. For me, I finally made the decision that I'm quitting 100% for good. That's non-negotiable. Everything else is planned accordingly. |
I've been toying with the idea of running a half-marathon in March, which will give me something to obsess over. And I have one grad school application to finish around the same time. So...I think I actually do have a plan, at least for the next few months. And thanks all for the above responses. |
Originally Posted by blazen
(Post 7337158)
You've already made the most difficult and important plan. You stopped drinking. Now the challenge is to avoid relapse. Only you can answer how you plan to deal with that. There will be thoughts that maybe you can control yourself and have an occasional drink. You'll face stressful times and think it would be ok to self medicate for awhile then get back to sober later. There will be challenges and hurdles. It's a question of commitment. For me, I finally made the decision that I'm quitting 100% for good. That's non-negotiable. Everything else is planned accordingly. Whatever. Other people can manage it and so can I. It's not magic or virtue, right? |
It's not magic or virtue, right? |
Ginniver, I think you have more of a plan than you think you do. :) You are moving forward with sober days, you are planning a half-marathon which will take training, and a grad school application. Those are all positive things in your life. And, SR is always here to offer support and inspiration. |
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