Notices

Has anyone else started without a plan?

Old 12-19-2019, 09:57 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 10
Has anyone else started without a plan?

I’ve thought often about quitting (for years and years), and have made half-hearted attempts that lasted for a couple of days, but last Saturday, I just stopped. Sunday was the same, and so on.

Today is day six and other than feeling headachy and just-weird (hot and cold, intermittent nausea), I think I could be mostly ok with this. I feel like I can keep going, but I’m worried that I don’t have any sort of plan in place. I’d always figured when I stopped, it would be gradual and plotted. I’m pretty sure if I told friends I didn’t feel like drinking, most would just shrug and accept it (a lot of my friends don’t drink, or rarely).

I’ve never told anyone about my nightly (or more) bottle of wine. I’ve been functioning at this level for a long time and it’s rarely interfered with getting to work. It has, however, wreaked havoc on personal decisions. And I hate the feeling of furtiveness and deception around it.

I have no intention of going to AA. I can’t imagine going into a rehab program. I am marginally open to talking it out with a therapist. But mostly, I’d like to just keep on the path now that I’m on it.

Which is why I’m nervous about not having a plan. What should that look like?
Ginniver is offline  
Old 12-19-2019, 10:13 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,936
Congrats, Ginniver! You have the beginnings of a plan; don't drink! Don't get me wrong, developing a plan is an important start of staying sober. But stopping today without a plan is better than waiting a week/month/year/decade and continuing to drink while you formulate that plan!

Welcome to SR! I expect that this forum will help you a lot to map out where you're taking your sobriety. It's good to have you here with us.
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 12-19-2019, 10:23 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 10
Thanks MoS—

I’ve been part of other forums that helped me work thru some things, so I’m hoping the same will happen here. And I guess I won’t sweat on not having a plan, except to stick with it.
Ginniver is offline  
Old 12-19-2019, 10:42 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Hi and welcome Ginniver

This is the best link I know of for helping you construct the plan thats best for you.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

Posting and reading here regularly will help too. Supports important - it made the difference for me from fits and starts in recovery to permanent abstinence.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-19-2019, 10:55 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 10
Thanks Dee! That’s very helpful. Now going to drink some more water and go to sleep!
Ginniver is offline  
Old 12-19-2019, 11:27 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Night Night

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 12:58 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Similarly I don't have a plan. Just to stop drinking forever. I'm not going to go to AA or anything like that. This forum is helping so far.
Mary88 is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 01:29 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
What do you think a plan entails Mary?

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 01:47 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Your plan was created the day you said **** it I'm done with this. . pretty much how I was. I stick around here. As well as go to other recovery sites. You tube. Etc. So far this no plan thing has kept me sober for 230 days. I do believe in taking it one day at a time tho. That works for me. So come enjoy this journey with us. ✌
SoberRican is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 02:03 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Hi Dee

​​​​​​My plan is simply not to drink again. I will face up to whatever happens - challenges, temptations etc as courageously as I can.
Mary88 is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 02:19 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,043
Thanks Mary

I think having a plan is better than just winging it or simply relying on willpower,

A plan doesn't have to be incredibly detailed - but I think everyone faces an opportunity to drink again.

I think it's better to have through about that beforehand, than to just blindly stumble into a tough situation.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 02:35 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,063
Originally Posted by SoberRican View Post
Your plan was created the day you said **** it I'm done with this. . pretty much how I was. I stick around here. As well as go to other recovery sites. You tube. Etc. So far this no plan thing has kept me sober for 230 days. I do believe in taking it one day at a time tho. That works for me. So come enjoy this journey with us. ✌
This. ^^^^^

Just do it. And stick around here. I go to AA meetings too but if AA is not for you then just get on the bus and stop drinking. One day at a time. Don't overcomplicate things and delay sobriety because you need a plan first. A plan is a good thing... until it isn't.
AAPJ is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 03:03 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Callas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 598
I found myself loaded with heaps of empty time when I first stopped. It still is the case a bit. I had to find a detailed routine to fill that time. That was my plan.
Callas is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 03:38 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Well, I've offered to help out with caring for elderly relative. This will fill up a few evenings and nights per week. Weekends have always been sober anyway due to family commitments.

I'm going to meditate and do other spiritual practices daily.

Aiming for at least 1 hour exercise daily.

I intend to avoid all social events where there will be alcohol for a long time.
Mary88 is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 04:21 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 348
I call sobriety the best decision I ever backed into. Like many here, I had read lots about sobriety before I quit, so was fairly educated on how others found success. My quit day wasn’t planned, it was just the day I decided I was too tired to go on.

The plan for me is that I am not bora minus booze. Sobriety was a life change and part of larger personal growth. Over time I took up an ever strenuous exercise routine, cleaned my diet up even further, got back into yoga, and spent more time with DS. I also read here daily or almost, and kept an electronic journal of meaningful words of wisdom and notations about my drinking consequences so I have a reminder if needed. I also delved into the reasons I drank in the first place.

Wine was my BFF and go-to comfort and coping. I had to have a plan for what to do instead. I think there are tools people use with great success (AA, therapy, rehab) but those not the only paths. But what is required IMO is an understanding that just eliminating booze doesn’t fix such a deep rooted issue.
Best wishes!
-bora
boreas is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 04:47 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 18
You've already made the most difficult and important plan. You stopped drinking. Now the challenge is to avoid relapse. Only you can answer how you plan to deal with that. There will be thoughts that maybe you can control yourself and have an occasional drink. You'll face stressful times and think it would be ok to self medicate for awhile then get back to sober later. There will be challenges and hurdles. It's a question of commitment. For me, I finally made the decision that I'm quitting 100% for good. That's non-negotiable. Everything else is planned accordingly.
blazen is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 06:53 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 10
I've been toying with the idea of running a half-marathon in March, which will give me something to obsess over. And I have one grad school application to finish around the same time.

So...I think I actually do have a plan, at least for the next few months.

And thanks all for the above responses.
Ginniver is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 06:58 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by blazen View Post
You've already made the most difficult and important plan. You stopped drinking. Now the challenge is to avoid relapse. Only you can answer how you plan to deal with that. There will be thoughts that maybe you can control yourself and have an occasional drink. You'll face stressful times and think it would be ok to self medicate for awhile then get back to sober later. There will be challenges and hurdles. It's a question of commitment. For me, I finally made the decision that I'm quitting 100% for good. That's non-negotiable. Everything else is planned accordingly.
^^^^I worry about this. I worry about when I think I'll want to "reward" myself, or the whole--"this amazing dinner would be wasted without a glass of wine" feeling, or just having whatever hurdle or setback. Or heck, just the desire to cuddle with the dog and a good book.

Whatever. Other people can manage it and so can I. It's not magic or virtue, right?
Ginniver is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 07:22 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
nez
Member
 
nez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
It's not magic or virtue, right?
It is not magic, but sobriety can be magical! Keep moving forward.
nez is offline  
Old 12-20-2019, 07:36 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,329
Ginniver, I think you have more of a plan than you think you do. You are moving forward with sober days, you are planning a half-marathon which will take training, and a grad school application. Those are all positive things in your life. And, SR is always here to offer support and inspiration.
Anna is online now  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:54 PM.