Checking in on day 3. Feeling a lot better today.

Reading through SR posts again has helped me make new realizations about my past sobriety. Working on not feeling 'different' or 'special.' I am an alcoholic and getting sober is the most difficult thing I have faced.

Still, I am feeling hope with all of the camaraderie here at SR.

Of course you are special love. :)

I remember hearing in the rooms that I was not unique....I didn't deal with that very well.....I get it now, I am not alone in this disease.....all of us who deal with this have a great deal in common. But we are still all different, and special in our own way.... :) :hug: s

Great to see you here Venus, and thanks for the lovely welcome, feel bit better and less edgy tonight after eating well today. I'll make a commitment to post on here everyday this month..... x

Hi class.

.....so, off we go. A little background: My best sober time has been a maximum of about 4 months. Not a great deal. If I am honest, I've always seen them as 'dry runs' rather than serious attempts at long term sobriety. Eventually and inevitably, I drop off again. I dont 'relapse', feel shame and guilt, I just get tired of sober living and go back to the alternative.
This is a big part of the problem I think. With the sober stretches, I have found that yes, I really enjoy living without intoxication. But it wears off, and the attraction of the other life strengthens again. You have two lives.....and start to toggle between them. Which has been pretty much the story of the last few years for me.
But this too changes. It gets progressively harder to make the transition back to the sober life. Somewhere along the way hangovers get superceded by withdrawals. The withdrawals that used to take 4 days now linger for a week.
It gets harder. What ppl here call kindling.

I've done this solo....usual tale of marriage dissolved. A few years later job followed. Plenty of time, fortunately enough resources, job not really missed, was ready to go anyway. But living alone, with a limited social network....the situation begins to slide.

This is roughly where I've got to. Have learned a few ways to get stopped but need to step it up to stay stopped.
Ok.....looking forward to getting to know you better. I hope we can support each other through the coming days.

Later.

Lovely to meet you honey.....I think there will be wonderful support in this class. :hug: s

I hear you.....that voice that keeps taking us back.....I did that for over 20 years. :(
Until I got here..... :hug: s

Hi everyone well made it through day 1, not going to lie it was miserable, i was miserable, anxious and angry at myself for putting myself back here. But i will go to sleep and wake up sober so that's an improvement on yesterday.

Gosh day 1 is hard.....but getting through it (especially on your own) is super seriously fantastic Tinkerbeau. What a win. I bet you wake up smiling tomorrow. :hug: :) xx

Your post resonates with me Sobasoda and Tinkerbeau. I started my journey a year ago and after 7 months AF I thought I could have an occasional glass of wine. I have found that moderation will never work for me and want to kill the beast once and for all:).

So glad you joined us Runner. :) :hug: s xx

Welcome Lila Runner and 1stepup :)

congrats to everyone hitting a milestone today no matter what it is :)

D

Morning all
Nice to see some familiar faces.

Sodasoba-your post makes complete sense to me. I'm the same. I love being sober and will go a month and feel great but then just want a drink-the alternative. It's like I don't want to be sober enough at times to really put the work in. But it all ends badly with daily drinking and feeling awful all the time. It's no way to live.

Day 2. Walked miles yesterday.Slept a little. See what the day brings. Take care all.

Good morning everyone.

I'm on day 8 today and I've just got through my first weekend. It was hard at times and I coped by having a fizzy soft drink in my hand at night and keeping myself busy during the day.

I actually still try and convince myself that I don't really have a problem, but then I realise that if I didn't have a problem then those stomach knotting cravings I get when I see a pub or someone drinking wouldn't be happening.

Overall the weekend wasn't easy, but not super hard either. I know I have a long way to go, but I am determined to do this. I don't like drinking anymore and my hurdles will come in the way of party invites and controlling my urges of missing out and my mind telling me I don't really have a problem.

Deep down I know I have a problem. I'm not a wake in the morning and drink alcoholic, but still the problem is there.\

You could say that I never knew I had a drink problem until I decided to stop.

Have a lovely day everyone.

Hi Sodasober

Yes, it really is like I have two lives, sober me and drinking me. Sober me is such a better person and drinking me is a lazy unhealthy person.

Still, like you, I have gone back to drinking me after a short time of being sober, even though I don't like drinking.

I suppose it's all part of the problem, and something we all need to overcome if we want to quit for good.

I'm only on day 8, so early days for me, but this time I feel stronger and with the support of this forum and the members on it, I feel I can do this.

We can do this!

Good luck

Morning everyone well day2, and going to bed sober has certainly helped me woke up feeling better than yesterday. I have my first counselling appointment today so will see how that goes.

Hi all. Today is my actual day 1. The one thing that keeps getting me is now over. Nothing difficult in the foreseeable future. It is my hope and plan to have so much sober time in before it comes around again that I will win.

Hi RAL!

David

Not sure what advice I give Bob apart from from the fact my recovery needs to be non conditional...I can't afford for any person no feeling no situation can be a danger to my recovery.

If I have any 'yeah buts' they'll occur eventually.

I used the support here a lot in the early days and I used the advice I got and read about to make a plan.

My advice is to think about what your sticking point is Bob and what you can do to get through it without drinking.

Start working on it now.

D

Thanks Dee. I am assuming that the goal is to have no desire to drink when the time eventually does come around again. If it doesn't come up again for 6 months, am I crazy to think that the time sober will take care of it?

I didn't trust time alone would be enough defence Bob.
Maybe I did a lot of work for nothing - who knows - but I really didn't want to drink again.

I don't think that effort was wasted anyway :)

Of course its difficult to answer here without specifics Bob (and I'm not asking for them, just saying) but I really believe there's nothing so bad (or powerful) it can make me drink again.

D

Hello dearest RAL and all of you.....some beautifully insightful posts. :hug: s

I knew I had a problem years before it became clear to me that booze now had me in its clutches and I was no longer able to make a choice. That scared me more than anything else I have ever lived through.

:grouphug: