Rich, you sound like you are in the acute stage of shock and regret. That is understandable. These emotions are normal. But there is hope waiting for you.

I have been fanatically in control (of everything but alcohol) and micro-managed everything for most of my life. This DUI was the blow that has finally allowed me to surrender to my alcoholism and just wait as things play out. This does not mean I am just letting things go and riding the wave. My micro-management tendencies have helped in that I am ON TOP of every single request or bit of paperwork or task that needs to be taken care of, no way I am f-ing this up. But I have also let go of things I cannot control and am accepting of whatever comes my way in terms of punishment for my very serious act.

Maybe get through these next few days just concentrating on your sobriety and then in a week or so start to investigate plans for the future. Investigate. You still don't know what will happen.

Here was my last DUI,rich.. I made my thread as soon as I got home from the medical unit in jail.. I refused treatment 'on scene'. https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-out-jail.html

Crazy to go back and read through that!...been a while. :headbange

edit x2: That crap about my ex,but that was my 'life' at that time.. :lmao

Wow. I am so sorry to read about this. It could easily have been me, I drunk drove many times I am ashamed to say. You do sound like you are in shock. An accident alone can do this, what with others injured, the police and withdrawls from alcohol.
I know it may not be this simple but please try not to project too much into the future. Really try and keep it in the today.
I too echo sentiments about going back to AA. I first went 15 years ago after a pretty bad drunk drive that scared the life out of me although luckily there was no accident and no one got hurt, and I decided it wasn't for me! I then tried 3 more times in the last 5 year's still deciding not for me. 5 months ago I was broken, totally on my knees and desperate and I went back to AA and I grasped onto that programme and the people there like I was in the dangerous waters and it was a life preserver. This time around it is WORKING. I am 5 months sober and that is because of AA and SR.
I am saying prayers for you Rich. Remember, one day at a time. X x

Hi . I m very sorry that happened. Your story made me emotional. I know its awful to say but maybe if you stay sober Universe helps. I never been to prison but visited my clients. Sometime i was glad they ended there as otherwise they would die. They got detox and i guess there are some therapeutic staff if a person is willing. I pray you d not end up there. But if please stay strong use any support offered and do not swap alcohol for drugs. I know its available there. Heard stories but also know folks who changed life because being in institution. And now have good lives. I pray for you and maybe the worst never come. Big hugs x D

Your life and another’s is changed forever, yes.

But there are still infinite possible futures.

Lots of people go to prison and later build lives to be proud of.

It’s awful.... I’m not looking to minimize your situation.

But you get to choose..... starting whenever you want... how long the awful lasts and how bad the awful gets.

I got close a couple of times.
I went four months a year ago, and went back.
I went a couple of months a few times, but just couldn't stick with it.
I wish so bad I had found the program I enrolled into after this tragedy a week ago, it would have been a good start and I would have gotten some fellowship and some therapy that probably would have helped.

You are there now, that's what you need to focus on.

Decisions have consequences. It could have happened to any of us that have driven while intoxicated. Focus on the present and just do the right thing going forward. I know you can find peace.

This too shall pass.

But you've found it now. Take advantage of it and do the necessary work. Use the fellowship of this site as well, you did in the past and it seemed to help then too.

You have no way of knowing what the consequences/punishment might be for what you've done. But I can almost guarantee you that at some point you will be asked what you've decided to do about your drinking problem. It might be the Judge who decides your fate, or perhaps the victim in the vehicle you hit, or a representative. If you can honestly tell them that you've made sobriety your absolute #1 priority in life, it's going to say a lot. If you are still wishing you would have done something that's probably going to be another story.

Hopefully when the shock of the events around you dissipates a bit you can focus your efforts on what you can do today, vs lamenting things that you cannot change.

So if you've gone four-months without drinking you obviously have the ability to live a sober live. You've got to figure out what it is that keeps bringing you back to drinking. Find a way to counter those thoughts when they come because trust me they will come.

Whatever it is that you like about drinking it clearly is not worth the consequences. You are lucky you are not dead.

There but for the grace of God go I...

And for those of us, like me, who have issues with the higher power thing:

there but for the skin of my teeth go I...


It's easy to cast stones. But I doubt there are many here who, but for a couple twists and turns, would be in rick's shoes.

well said, Lessgravity.

Rich - I'm very glad you came here to talk about what happened. It was a horrific thing, and definitely could have happened to me too. I never got behind the wheel feeling I was out of control - but of course, I was. I hope being here will help take some of the sting out of this...we understand like no one else can. Prayers going up for those injured.

Best of luck to you, I hope you can get it sorted out to the best outcome for you and for the victim.

For what it's worth, your posting here is already doing good and helping others. I've driven many times while drunk, and this easily could have been me, anytime. Your sharing is a good reminder to me of the awful destruction drinking can cause.

While I am sure your immediate frame of mind is on coping with the incident, maybe you can see this as a watershed moment in your life to turn and help others? You are seeing all that may be lost (retirement, etc.) - but maybe through the clouds there is something that can be gained in the long term?

Rich, I’m very sorry. I think legal advice and focus on your sobriety including your emotional sobriety with outside help (maybe AA and/or a therapist) is paramount. When it is possible, I think it’s also important to find out the condition of the other person, and if possible make amends to that person. I don’t know your history. Were you sober for a period, then you decided to drink again? If that’s the case, had you let your guard down? If you were working a program, did you stop? I believe anyone who is an alcoholic is never really recovered from alcohol. We are in a life time of recovery and it is always one day at a time. I will be forever working the steps, coming here to SR and working on this every day of my life. We can’t ever let our guard down. I know this will be a tough time for you. I would focus not just on helping yourself, but helping others with this terrible disease going forward.

Thanks for sharing. I think this got the attention of many people... and for a good reason.

How are you doing Rich? I have been thinking about you all day.

I hope you get some additional information soon on the condition of the people you hit as well as the timeline and an outline of what lies ahead for you legally. Just knowing what direction things are headed is grounding.

All of those things are out of your hands for now though. The one thing you can do something about is your sobriety. How is that going?

Rich's story has stayed with me all day, too.

Keeping you and the others affected in my thoughts and prayers Rich.

Hang in there.

I think we alcoholics are very good at telling ourselves stories. I know you're probably anxious and overwhelmed right now but no one can predict the future. I'd get a lawyer, find out what really happened and what your options will be. And try to stay present with what happened and feel the pain of it, not run or try to dull it. What you did obviously goes very strongly against your values. Maybe it will guide you in knowing what to do next.