Lost everything
 

Ended up drinking yesterday, girlfriend caught me and moved out.. Lost apartment because her grandparents were renting it to us. Moved in with my father.. He's found me an agnostic sponsor in a.a so I'm going to speak with him tomorrow... Girlfriend says she's not done with me but says this is my last chance to get it right.. She moved back in with her mother..

Sounds to me like you still have a lot actually....a supportive father, a girlfriend who still is giving you a chance to make it right...a new potential sponsor...a network of support here...

Do you think you can now accept your addition for what it is?

Volshen, I'm sorry you're hurting.

Based on what you posted above, I think it would help you to take a step back and do some soul-searching.


If you choose sobriety and recovery because you believe it'll help you win your girlfriend back, you're sabotaging yourself.

Choose sobriety and recovery because you want a better life, one with self-respect and an existence that is forged out of a desire to be governed by your own will and not what's found in a bottle.

Best wishes to you in your work with the sponsor. Choose sobriety and recovery for a better life.

If you stay sober all (may) return.
Then the work of staying sober.
You can do it (if) willing??

MB

I'm sorry you're going through this now, but you have every reason to get back on track and recover. You can do this!

get sober for YOU!

Amazing responses. I will simply add that when I thought things had gotten really bad they could be worse. Gratitude for what I have and don't have gives me some perspective at times.

Volshen, I had to have bad things happen in order to get serious. My world was upside down too. I was so tired of having my life controlled by alcohol - I wanted desperately to be free. Maybe it's your time. We're with you.

I guess I haven't lost everything but it feels like I have.. Without her here I feel lost and it didn't feel good to empty out our apartment... That's been our home for 2 years.. Don't like the embarrassment either.. But I am fortunate she is still talking to me.. I still have my drivers license.. Just in a bad mindset right now.. Sorry for the dramatic title..

Don't be sorry for saying how you honestly feel. Most of us can relate. I hope you can get some sleep tonight.

Thank you for the responses .. I am going to try to sleep I'll be back on here tomorrow... Still feeling sick ... Tiring to even think.. I'll check in tomorrow hopefully with a clearer head...

Tomorrow's a new day Volshen. Get some rest, your perspective may change in the morning.

We're here for you. :)

Hi Volshen
I second what others mentioned chiefly that you haven't lost everything yet.
You are experiencing the embarrassing, lonely and overall negative effects of your choice to drink again. I speak from recent experience.
I'm glad for the support you have!
Until two weeks ago I felt superhuman with respect to quitting drinking but then I drank again. My wife is being supportive thank God and I didn't burn bridges but my self condemnation is at a high.
What I have lost is perhaps also a gain. Yes, I am embarrassed, humiliated, depressed that I knowingly made an unwise decision but it is hopefully a deeper lesson learned. I hope this is the case for you as well.
This path seems to involve bumps and bruises and unknown terrain for some of us but we are here and we are trying. It will bear fruit.
Get back on the horse and ride on! I'll be trotting next to you :)
Best wishes.
Jonathan

I'm sorry you are having a rough time right now, but sometimes it is exactly the situations that almost break us that are the reason we finally truly seek out a way of creating a strong, solid, lasting recovery.

Be thankful that you did not end up sleeping on a bench somewhere because you became homeless. Lean on your support system and make sure that you are NEVER to proud to ask for help, guidance, and/or support. Things can go back up and get you to a place that was even better then before, as long as you put in the work!

Hang in there!

Sometimes it takes that feeling of "all is lost" to finally get us sober. Hang in there!

Very, very, very true. I thought I lost everything too. And I did lose ALOT. But I have my beautiful home, my two awesome kids, wonderful parents, family. I have my health, my dog, my faith. Right now I am blindly putting one foot in front of the other and trusting God that my future is bright - and it will NOT include alcohol.

I have ALWAYS been very stubborn, hard headed, independent, successful. I do and accomplish what I set out to do. Alcohol has been a different story. It has taken ALOT for me to get through my thick head that the one thing I cannot accomplish or do is drink in moderation. That mindset of thinking that I can has cost me ALOT.

AMEN to this post. Probably lots of us relate.
Something "confounding" about alcohol's grip so best to avoid challenging it.

Lost everything

Not everything, not yet. Until you lose the desire to drink there's plenty more to lose.

Volshen, this sounds more like a wake up call to me. Your girlfriend hasn't said its over but, she probably needs a break.

I agree with the other posters though, you need to get sober for yourself or, it's just a waste of time. I only wish I had figured that point out a long time ago. Sounds like you still can.

the morning after my last drunk my( by then ex) fiancé told me some of what I did and said while I was inna blackout then said," GET THE **** OUT!"
to which I didn't argue. packed some stuff and left.
the actions during my last drunk, which I don't remember crap from that day,afternoon,evening, are exactly what had to happen for me to get sober. it led me to a life free of alcohol and pretty friggin awesome.
heck, I have a life and im not just existing!

Volshen, I've followed your posts. I really hope you can get sober and remain sober. As others have said, you haven't quite lost everything yet, but you certainly will because alcohol doesn't give a crap about you, only itself. Wish you the best man, you can do it. But it requires effort.

Stopped in to see how it's going today Volshen.

Hi. I started a part time job today.. I didn't sleep well so it was hard to get through the day but I did... I need a full time job or an additional part time job to get a new apartment. My girlfriend is talking to me and we are supposed to spend a few hours together after I get out of work.. It's hopeful but I'm nervous that her parents will convince her to leave me.. She's living with them right now and they have influence over her... I've made so many promises to her and let her down ..

I guess I'm going to try to keep doing the next right thing and hope she sticks around and can believe the drinking is over..

I know I need to do this for me as well.. I don't want to feel like this ever again... Embarrassment, no one trusting me.. Nothing achieved in life...

Anyway day 2.. 3 tomorrow.. Feeling confident I can build up some time .. My father is an alcoholic with 6 years time and he absolutely hates drinking.. I know I'm not going to try to drink here.. going to take time to get the job situation sorted out to be able to afford an apartment so I want to get stronger during this time.. Otherwise I'd drink at a new apartment and ruin everything again..

We know you can do it, Volshen. You sound disgusted enough to let this be the end of those awful days. You can reclaim your life and have a great new start.

Haven't been sleeping much.. The last couple days I have felt like a zombie and have been so tired I've started crying. Spent a few hours with my girlfriend today.. I was exhausted but we managed to have a nice time.. i can't ask her anything about the future or she gets mad.. She says she's still with me but taking things "one day at a time" meaning she is watching to see how I tackle the drinking problem ..

This is so tough.. I lack patience .. I wish I could snap my fingers and fix everything.. I can't stand the uncertainty of everything...

I really hope this will be a wake up call.. But not a loss. I can't imagine my life without her..

Supposed to do this for me.. And I've thought about it.. I don't really like myself. But being with someone who likes me makes me feel worthy somehow.. I'm doing it for me in the sense that I can't stand the pain... If I don't drink I won't have pain caused by drinking..

I don't know... All I know is when I wake up (after hopefully sleeping more than an hour) it will be day 4 and so far I'm so mad at myself I have not even thought about drinking...

i hate what I've let alcohol do to me and I hate that I have a huge mess to clean up.. Trust to regain.. A whole lot of uncertainty... But the way I see it is that as hurting as I am.. What option do I have other than to keep fighting.. I've never been suicidal so that's not an option.. Either drink and ruin more and live miserably or don't drink and deal with these feelings but at least not make things a million times worse.

Thanks for reading..

Get some sleep, Volshen. A problem so long in the making won't be solved overnight. You have to try to be patient, work on it a bit every day, and let her have the space she needs. :grouphug:

Nothing new to report except still not drinking.

What a blessing!!

It's times like this that often move us to finally make drastic changes and honor what it is that we really need the most.

Resting in a comfort zone allows us to carry on with our self destruction.

Pretty brave of your Lady to be a catalyst like that. Courageous and honorable of her to assert her boundaries and refuse to be your enabler.

Wonderful of your father to line you up a sponsor and be there to get you in the door and into the rooms.

Man.

You have all sorts of things going for you!!!!


Rock it. You've got this. Life is getting better already.

:grouphug:

I fixed your options statement for you.

volshen, imo, ya should be lookin into support to help you change you and NOT from your girlfriend.
check out the many varieties of recovery programs available and get into action.
I entered aa feeling I was a useless, worthless, hopeless, helpless POS. it took T.I.M.E and action for that to change. I no longer hate myself for the actions of my past. no more self pity for past actions. I now have worth, use, hope, and can help others. I love myself today.
that took T.I.M.E. and action.
plus a crapload of practicing patience while the miracles started happening.