Potamus :hug: in a few days the swelling will be down and you'll feel so much better. You're a trooper! :)

You're a winner, Melina. My advice....stop engaging in conversations with your AV. You're in control now...not your primal brain. It submits to you. You call the shots from here on out! You're doing the right thing...just keep moving forward :hug:

Lunch break here. I've been freezing all day even with a bunch of layers and a space heater at my desk! Must be hormones. Maybe I'll be the kind that gets cold flashes instead of hot flashes!
Xo

That's a super weird interview haha, he was probably into you, why else ask so many questions.

Congrats soberwolf! We love you!
Congrats Sao!
Plenny- xoxoxo
Melina: you'll be fine, you don't have to be old you anymore; stay on here the whole time you're at home at first if you need to.

My family: I never met my dad, I have a brother and sister who are older by 15 & 16 years. They have a different father, though he's awful and I'm often grateful I have no dad -rather than him.
Not super close with my sister, pretty close with my brother.
I'm close with my mom and always have been, we get along really well except when it comes to my brother.
She's really weird about my brother; for example he was staying here and not paying any rent, I was upset and asked him for rent ( after this went on for 8 months)
He called my mom and told her he didn't have it ( though he makes over $90 000 a year, I asked him for $400 - not even half)
She tells him it's ok, he doesn't have to pay- so I'm furious, I make less money, I'm a student and I'm the youngest child, I don't get why I should pay for him?!?!!? Meanwhile he's ordering custom shirts from hong kong, and in bed by 10 pm, while I'm paying bills and working until 12-3 am.
Anyway, she'll lose her mind and start insulting me because I dared get mad at him.

Other than that we get along really well, I still can't figure out what is with my brother that makes her so unreasonable.
Anyway, I'll probably never find out......

I'm finished my lunch break! Back to work and then school, but I have the evening off!!! So I'll be chatting with you fine people in a few hours!
Gonna watch movies and have an SR night :)

Bim! I like the octopus ( octopi?) they were so amusing to look at!

Tetra...I agree with the others. If you get the job, take it and keep looking. Would you be working directly with the weird guy?
Melina...think positive thought about the new place. You'll be having a fresh new start and I think it will be fantastic. You won't associate drinking with the new home since you never did it there. I think you are majorly moving upward!
Ok...back to work I go, hi ho.

Thanks Bim and Mesa.

SP :hug:

Melina, it will be so awesome to be in the place you don't associate with drinking! In every spot of my place, I have memories -- hid bottles here, embarrassed myself there, was dragged semi-conscious here...

Cant type much today

Melina - just take it slowly and relax, I agree with telling the AV the new place is a no drinking zone.

Tetra - I would also consider taking the job and considering it a stop gap to get some money. If you go into it with low expectations and thinking it is simply for the money and NOT a career or forever job, you can get through it. I have had to do that in the past.

I spent the day on the phone to the UK. I have property there, which I let through a company. I knew the payments were off, and been trying to speak to them for a while - finally got a human today and turns out they fired their account manager for mismanagement! By calling and complaining, I went to the top of their audit list, and thus am getting 2 rent payments this month as something was up! I told them I was not trying to be difficult, but usually my UK account is fine without my intervention (money in covers money out) but that was not the case right now! Go me being upfront and asking (I would always hide from issues before). I was not rude, just demanded it be taken care of and now I can be happy in the USA knowing the UK is rolling along (although will be keeping a closer eye now)! No feelings of drinking cos there was a problem, just a "well let's get this sorted now" feeling.

Day 11 here.

Hi, weekenders.

Well, here comes a huge bumtron....

But this time I an not in. I will take a pass...

I am genuinely happy for you, Ken, that you had a blast with your family.
And I am happy for every person who can feel warmth at the word "family" , even though often relationships are complicated.

But it is not my case.

And that is why I will take a pass on this ride.

The moment I saw the title of the thread I felt sick in the stomach.

Metaphors and expansion of the word "family" from "being bound or, if you are not fortunate, sentenced by DNA to certain people", to "people who understand you, share values and know real you" - it didn't help much.

I think it will take long time for me to change my knee-jerk reaction at the word family - "Pain. No escape from pain. No hope...Darkness".

I started reading the posts and felt more sick - literally, with lump coming up to my throat. Then I felt flash of anger and urge to fence every piece of conventional wisdom. I don't want to do this.

I will take my right not to forgive.

I will use my right to feel anger. Burning anger which helps me to go through liberation phase, just like fire helps sequoias to grow and reproduce.

I will use my right not to agree with the anytime-anyplace "let go" propaganda. I don't remember where I came across comparison of "not letting go" to the snake in your pocket which bites you every time you reach there. Probably.

I tried to let go of my snake many times. It preferred to come back every time. It didn't go anywhere, but felt surefire comfortable on my chest, keeping me awake and scared. Or wrapping around my neck, leaving me hardly space to breath and rearing its ugly head right into my face, sticking out its tongue and terrifying me, and biting me injecting just so much poison to make me suffer to the point of asking for death, but still keeping alive.

And I still believed I probably didn't explain it that it can go. It's free.

Until at some point I said "WTF" and chopped its freaking head. It was not "letting go". It was deliberate act of accepting all the negative emotions, unveiling the truth and making the decision.

Now I am at the point that I don't care much what people think of my point of view on this question. It was a long exhausting and road to get there. Once I told my therapist that my friend told me something like "I can't imagine what could happen for you to never contact ______ again. " My therapist gave me pretty good advice. "Tell people to stretch their imagination. What happened doesn't make it possible to communicate with that member of your family".

I realize I will probably be always in minority in my views in terms of family. And that's ok.

I will see you all next week.

Potamus - I will shift my support to your Oral Surgery thread.

Have a great weekend, all)

Boyfriend is coming over in just a few hours to talk about our Christmas problem. Haven't seen each other in weeks.

I'm terrified and very nervous.

Welcome all newcomers to the weekender thread.

I'm finishing my second bowl of borscht. I made it last night and it got approval from the master. I don't use sour cream when I serve it to myself tho.
Been looking at job postings the last couple days. It's time.

Tetra, if offered, take job. You can always 'refuse' it after a month or so while you are still looking for other work.
A question I always wanted to ask in an interview is, "What is the square root of pi?" If it takes more than fifteen seconds for the candidate to say, "I don't know..." then I have doubts about the person. Some questions ARE stupid. Sometimes it's more about gauging the response of the person than the actual answer to the question. Keep that in mind.

Hope you feel better Potomus.

To da hunt!

Plenny, make sure you have an exit strategy ready. For him.
And be prepared to handle the anxiety with something other than drink/drugs.

Think ahead to what may trigger you and be prepared to do something about it ahead of time. Waiting until we are overwhelmed with emotions tends to lead us astray. Be ready.

Thank you. I haven't gotten out of bed yet today. I've been crying all day. It's 2pm here.

I hope it goes well Plenny why are you terrified ?

Hope you feel better SP x

Oh Plenny!! Why are you crying? Was he a mean boyfriend? Are you sure you want to see him?
If things go south come here before drinking ok? We'll talk to you xo

Got off work early! A client forgot to meet me! ( she was very sorry, but I was delighted haha, will lay around until school time)

MidnightBlue stick around - people will not be talking dysfunctional families to the exclusion of everything else

Good luck Plenny

I agree with sao MB, stick around xoxo
Sorry for your pain (((( hug))))
Soon we'll al be talking about recipes and movies :)

Plenny, why do you have to see him? If it's this upsetting, maybe put it off until it isn't causing you this much stress.

He broke up with you, right? What is there to discuss that can't wait until you feel stronger? Or can it be done on the phone?

Hi all. I'm terrified because I'm so nervous in anticipation of seeing and hurting someone I care about very much. He let me down and it revealed that perhaps neither of us is in a good place to be in a relationship. We both became vulnerable, and now we are hurt. We didn't talk about it right away. It's been three weeks. So now some of these resentments have calcified. He let me go. Just like everyone else has. It's just a momentous occasion and I'm terrified and emotional. He is not mean. He is a very kind person.

We haven't talked, I have no idea what he's been thinking. I don't know if we are broken up or not. That's why we have to talk.