I FULLY agree with StraightAhead's comment !
Day 4 here and feeling pretty damn good today. I am finding it easier this time because I really do want to stay clean, I have eliminated a Major trigger out of my life (DF- protect your own space or there's a HIGH probability you won't make it- I know I always "slipped" when I was in a similar situation) , I come here for support, I have lots going on in my life right now that is keeping me busy and I am slowly creating new, healthier habits. One day at a time.

way to go on 4 days happycampers. :)

Thanks, DG. I've been here a couple of times doing the falloff/go through withdrawal phase and frankly, I'm not interested in going through this cycle anymore. Enough is enough. I too am much happier, at peace and content without it once the withdrawals lighten up. I recognize I already have what I was looking for,but using pot was just covering it up.

Thanks guys, yeah it's a complicated situation but hopefully not for too much longer :/

Well totally slipped yesterday, it's 530am on a Sunday and while I'm not "hungover" I feel like crap. Music festival equalled couple of cones and drinking. *slaps forehead* but picking myself back up and starting again.

day 5

Way to go, happy! COngratulations on day 5! It's one of the hardest days in my opinion, keep steady, pal!!

Dark, just start over and soon you'll be on day 5, 50, 500. One day at a time. :)

Something happened this night.

A friend of a friend showed up and thanked me for the hemp I gave to him weeks ago, but he never smoked it all, so he gave me back and I put it in my pocket. Then I begin thinking all the effort I've made, the 23 days, the spiritual treatment, the sober recovery friends. So I threw away the weed from my pocket.

It was just a dream, but I'm glad my subconscious is getting strong, and even in my dream I was able to say no and remember you, my friends, who really support me in this journey. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.


Day 24.

that was awesome to hear, Brazilian ! Just gets better by the day if we just stay strong long enough to allow our brains to heal and re-balance. Woke up this morning refreshed and with a big grin on my face . Truly grateful for my soberity and excited about my brand new life ! SR is an absolutely fabulous place to come to be with others working on the same goal - to stay clean and blossom. Thank you SR and all that make it so great - there are so many amazing, compassionate souls are, I feel blessed! Happy Sunday, everyone!

Great vibe in your words, happy. Congrats and thanks.

:tyou

:c011:

Well done Brazilian, bet it felt great to have that control.

Morning of Day 1 and trying to shake the foggy mess I woke up in.

Hang in there, DF.

Brazilian, that is such a great story about throwing the pot away. I know that must have been hard. We have to celebrate all those successes!

DF, the good news is you have a whole sober life ahead of you when you learn from your mistake. Next time you feel like slipping, just remember how you felt the morning after, and how you don't want to feel like that again. For me it gives me a great deal of motivation to not drink.

I hope you both have a GREAT week. Remember how blessed we are to be conscious, and how much better that consciousness is when we are present to it instead of anesthetized.

It was just a dream... in real life I wouldn't even put it in my pocket :)

A great week to us all! Yes it's a blessing to be sober again, much much better than to be doped and depressed like I was.



Day 25

you really sound MUCH better , Brazilian ! That's so fabulous to hear! I remember when we first met, you were just going to "take a break" and maybe go back later, but it sounds like you're committed to having a drug-free life ! What changed your decision ?
Day 6 here and doing ok - trying not to give the thoughts too much attention and generally focus on the positives of a brand new life ahead !

What changed my decision was a last try to have self control over the pot, and a gigantic failure on that. I bought 16 grams, planned to smoke only once a week, made a bunch of plans and strategies... but failed. Smoked every day all day until it was over. So I was forced to accept the simple truth, that I was seriously addicted.

Then I went on deep thoughts about my life, and decided I was tired of my lack of self respect, tired of my dope-based friendships, tired of being anxious all the time thinking in having weed, or feeling so hungry all the time when I had weed, and feeling so damn bad after eating a lot of carbs, gaining weight, feeling worse and worse, than smoking one more to digest the tons of food, then being so doped I couldn't talk properly to my wife (light of my life)...

Let's face it, it's a pretty lousy life. I decided I deserve more.



Congrats on day 6 my friend. Week 1 is the hardest. Week 2 is easier. And after day 15 is SO MUCH easier. Hang in there!!!

These thoughts are lies... just ignore them.

I would even risk telling you that these thoughts aren't really yours sometimes...

It's like an interference that your antenna picks, interference of a vibe you got tuned for too long... have to tune with other vibes (what you are already doing).

Just keep up the good work and it'll be all right. :c011:

yes, I fully agree that these thoughts are not coming from the REAL me - they're just old, repetitive ones that I used to give attention to, thereby giving them more weight. They just have to play themselves out as long as I recognize them as OLD thoughts that mean nothing and eventually, just stop coming at all because they're not being fed by me. Awareness watching temporary thoughts float in and out. I am viewing my process as a spiritual practice

That is SO awesome that you recognized the futility of trying to control - I've been there too myself for years trying to "control" it, only to end up in the hole again, disappointed deeply in myself. Great to recognize that , Brazilian !

Yes, my friend... it is a spiritual practice for me too.... everything is, actually. :)

One thing that I read the other day on SR really hit me, not that I hadn't heard it before , but this time, it hit me differently. It was something along the line that the addiction is ALWAYS to the First toke, hit, drink, whatever and the rest here are just shamelessly chasing our tails. I identified with that ! When I really look at when a craving comes, it's connected to the feeling of that First Buzz. And , in reality, I do love that first buzz of deeply sinking into a relaxing, open , almost floating state, like being in a warm blanket. But it quickly wears off ( maybe a half an hour) and I'm left feeling crappy, so I smoke again, not to get high because I usually don't Go Higher, but to avoid the comedown. Then I spend hours and days just smoking to avoid the comedown from the first , original toke I had ages ago. Addiction is totally illogical! So, the way I see it now is if I never take the first one, I never have to smoke all those ones afterwards just to avoid the ****** feelings produced from the very first one. A half an hour of "fun" is NOT worth the days of NOT having fun and just leaves me disappointed in myself AGAIN!