Quiting pot - not so easy
 

Hello friends.

I smoked pot daily for several years. Then I stayed sober for 5-6 years. Then I began smoking again in 2011. Got depressed. Quited again por 9 months (best time of my life).

I was all right, but really bored. No friends (all my friends are pot heads). So I decided to smoke again. And smoked nearly daily for 2 months. I really tried to moderate this time, but again I lost control.

So I'm quiting again. I need to study and hemp doesnt help. I am on day 3 and feeling so so bad.

I dream one day I can have pot in my drawer and say to myself "not today". I wonder if I will be capable to achieve this kind of discipline.

Sorry for my poor english. Thanks for this great forum. Strenght and honor.

Hi and welcome Brazillian.

I smoked pot daily for 30 years.
There never was a day when I was able to say not today.

I think when you're addicted, discipline doesn't matter - I have a very strong will in most things - but I had no will with drink and drugs.

I had to accept that, and make major changes in my life.

I know it sounds scary...but I've never regretted changing my life and moving away from my smoking friends - I can be the real me now, and I have real friends who like the real me :)

D

:welcome to SR! I'm glad you've joined our family. :hug:

Oi Brazilian, Tudo bem? Seu ingles e muito bom. Meu Portuguese fica ruim! Bem vindo!

Thanks, Dee, least and erics. (Legal seu Português, erics! Parabéns)

Back to day 1.

Now I have a plan. I WILL stay sober for 15 days. No weed or beer. That's because I need to study really hard (law school). I dream about beeing a judge someday (I'm 10 years far from it right now). But I could settle on a humbler job.

At this moment I dont have a job or career. So I need to focus. I'm 34 years old and married. No kids.

I'm still attached to the idea of smoking pot in a healthy way, once a week maybe. Sounds ridiculous? Probably. I dream about having a nice job, or not so nice, but a honest and well paying job. And then, on a Friday night, or Saturday, smoke ONE joint, drink like 2 or 3 beers and have some fun and relax. Is this asking too much? Or am I just deceiving myself?

Now I feel OK. Little anxious, as always. I was born anxious and tense. I know I will feel angry in a few hours (I am starting a low carb diet, really hard in the first weeks - I have a problem with food craving even without weed). So I'm trying to go light on coffee, too. All at once. But I feel powerful, I know I can do it, I did it before.

I just bought a Michael Sandel book, he's a Harvard teacher, very nice book. Little foggy right now, will begin study tomorrow. Won't be easy, I know. But thanks to God I am inteligent and capable. So capable that I could have became anything in life, but I managed to become nothing. This is sad. But I know I had my reasons, try not to be hard on myself and just pick up from here. "This is the first day of the rest of my life".

I'm grateful for my life, grateful for this great forum. Thanks, friends. Sorry for amateur english, I'm tryind hard here lol.

I'd appreciate any comments. Sorry if I said something wrong.

Keep yourself busy! I imagine law school is a ton of work, I am currently working on med school so I can empathize with the stress. Go outside and stay active for the time being, I imagine there is a lot to do in Brazil. Weed is definitely not the best study aid, it really can drain your motivation. Personally I do believe that weed in moderation won't have a profound negative effect on your life. The hard part is keeping it in moderation. By the way, your english is very good

Wait. I thought they said pot wasn't addictive and better for us than alcohol?

Not saying pot is harmless, but having experience with both drugs, I have no doubt alcohol is far more dangerous than marijuana.

This is really crux of the matter. If you aren't able to smoke pot or drink alcohol in a healthy/moderated mannner now - it's extremely unlikely that you will ever be able to do so in the future. It's just the nature of addiction - and it really doesn't matter what drug you are talking about.

And in the end, only you can decide if you are addicted or an alcoholic. You need to look at your life and your drinking/smoking and see if it is a problem.

Thanks to God, the alcohol is not a problem for me. I drink only beer, and not often, and avoid abusing it. I feel blessed for it (my father was an alcoholic, died, very sad stuff).

But pot can be a serious problem for me. It leads me to weight gain, and then I get depressed. I lose the will to study and to try hard. I become a master on procrastination. And there are some spiritual issues, too, I guess.

So I think "if I smoked just once a week wouldn't be a problem". Probably right, but it's really hard to say to myself "not today" when I have it in my drawer.

Luckly, it's rare to have pot in my drawer. I don't know any dealers, so I depend on little gifts from my few friends. I often get frustrated for not having pot. It's tricky: when I don't have pot (almost always) I feel frustrated, and when I have some, I smoke until it's over, in some kind of compulsion.

I think you may have just answered your own question. Pot causes physical, mental and career issue for you. You can't stop smoking it once you start. You get frustrated when you don't have it. It's hard for you to not start smoking even when you tell yourself you don't want to today.

Each of those individually is a red flag for addiction, and collectively they are pretty convincing evidence in my view. But again, you need to decided if you feel it's enough of an issue to quit completely. Because by your own admission moderation is not a possibility, so it's pretty much all or nothing. That is generally the case with addiction for anyone, regardless of the drug they are addicted to.

I smoked 15/16 years or so...daily...

It can be done, but for the first three months or so, you shouldn't think ahead at all.
The fog in your mind has to clear first before you can start grasping what you've become throughout the years...

good luck, welcome and keep posting.

Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate these comments.

Long story short, I know I have a pattern of addiction, but I think I can develop control over this behavior. If I fail, then I will just quit, like I've already done before for nearly 6 years.

In this moment, I'll stick with the inicial 15 days plan. Let's see where it gets me.

Day 1 was OK. A little anxious, a little mood swing, but no big deal. Didn't do any of the things on my list, though. Was able to not eat carbs, but ate more food than I had planned (when I get anxious I tend to eat a lot). A good day 1, I guess.

Day 2 begins. My goal is to turn off the playstation and begin study.

A nice day to all. Strenght and focus.

Reading a lot of information on weed addiction, withdrawal, etc. (I can't post links because I'm new on the forum)

Luckly I don't have the worst symptoms of withdrawal, like insomnia, constipation and stomachaches. I slept well this night. Woke up feeling ok. Just a bit foggy today. I'd want a lot of coffee to clear this fog, but I won't abuse on caffeine, not a good idea I guess. Will try to do some physical exercise today.

I was an all or nothing type of guy. I smoked 3-7 grams of weed a day, took benzos every day and drank half a handle of whiskey a day for 5 years.

You really have to say enough is enough.

18 months and 10 days sober for me today. Most of us have to quit everything completely to get sober and stay sober. Otherwise it just doesn't work.

I agree with you. When I was seriously uncontrolled, I quit for 6 years.

But now is a bit different. As an example, in the last 2 months the maximum amount I smoked was 4 grams a week (and that was way too much). And before that, I was 9 months without one joint or beer, and did so without great effort or suffering.

So I conclude that there are degrees of addiction, even though the pattern is the same.

Day 2 is almost over. Friday night is challenging. Feeling ok, but couldn't study today, was feeling tired. Didn't exercise myself either.

Beggining to understand 15 days is a very short time for a break. Probably I will extend to 30-90 days. But I prefer thinking in 15 days for starters...

A good sober Friday for all.

I hope you decide to extend :)

D