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Originally Posted by Saphie
(Post 2479524)
Forgive me but I am curious: Are you genuinely interested in finding out at what stage of alcoholism you might be at or if you are at all? Or are you just debating the different degrees of drinking and opinions because you enjoy debating? If you need support and advise, SR is a wonderful place for exactly that. Please stop for a just little while and read. Read how many people have become desperate in their search for help and how many are being helped. Whatever you decide, I hope your health will recover. I am interested in other views and experiences. I wanted advice on ways to reduce or cut back my drinking due to health problems. I think the posts on this thread have helped me and I have read other threads on the boards too. I do not think the AA route is for me and have not really related to the 12 steps when I read the them. I sense a tone of frustration and negativity from you (and a few other posters) but I have also had lots of supportive posts including quite a few PMs which was a nice suprise Surely the purpose of a public support board is to discuss the issues you find useful , people find support and advice in many different ways. there are many ways to skin a cat! Thanks to some of the posters on this board I have already had the frankest ever discussion about my alcohol use with my partner and also made a doctors and hospital appts . I think that in itself is worth all the "debate" and I thank everyone for their help Take care |
Thanks Daphne, can I ask if you have reduced or cut back on your drinking since coming here. I think most of the people on here are used to dealing with people who want to stop. |
Negative & frustrated? With a thread entitled, "advice-PLEASE" you sounded very concerned about your drinking & seemed to want input from those of us who have battled the beast and won. Most of us, bearing our battle scars, are very anxious to help and share our stories. When we see someone (seemingly) going down the same road we've just traveled we'd do most anything to help prevent that person from the hell & chaos we've been through. Tazman and I have an almost identical drinking past. I have to agree that his story is not an extreme one. In my case, everything was manageable for many years too. It took decades for alchohol to nearly destroy my body & break my spirit. In my 20's I was a weekend drinker with a glorious future. My drinking progressed - my tolerance for it was incredible. In my 50's I spent time incarcerated for my 2nd DUI. I, too, swore I'd never cross over that line we draw for ourselves. I never would have imagined the path my drinking would take me down. I would have laughed at anyone who told me I would one day drink at work, drink and drive, keep a drink by my bedside to stop the shakes during the night. None of these things may ever happen to you, but I once had your same attitude. Please be careful. |
Hello again daphne, you say you read the steps but couldnt relate, before the steps there is The Doctors opinion and More about Alcoholism, read those then read the steps again. |
The only people who can possibly understand an alcoholic is another alcoholic. For an alcoholic there can be NO such thing as moderation management or none of that bullsh*t. Total abstinence is the only way to arrest the beast. Much work is then required to maintain a decent mental wellbeing so that all the mental triggers/defects (or whatever term you want to use) can be addressed, managed and changed so that one does not feel the compulsion to use alcohol in their lives anymore. This is where AA and SR are vital. (Or any 'recovery' method that actually works if you ‘work it!.!) The appt word being ‘work’. It ain’t easy and can be incredibly raw and deeply difficult at times as we accept that we have to change our thinking/outlook/psyche to a great extent or else we will drink again No medical professor or psychologist or genius can possibly understand alcoholism. Only someone who has been there themselves and knows the score and has then found the solution knows the answer to solving this crippling condition that will kill you and take every ounce of self-respect and dignity you have with it. I choose to listen to fellow 'recovering' alcoholics who know the score. Some of these people who I respect and take wisdom were living homeless and drinking hand-sanitizer from hospitals to stop the shakes. They were once Like you are too... only for their alcoholism to progress until they lost everything. Of course you probably aren't an alcoholic so you will think what all us 'recovering alcoholics' are telling you is a load of b*llocks. So you can keep drinking and why wouldn't you? There is a reason that the majority of recovering 'alcoholics' and drug addicts think along similar lines about the nature of the beast of alcoholism and the solution required to actually maintain a serene and peaceful sobriety. We are only telling you our own experiences and what has worked for us. Alcoholism is progressive. It doesn’t take a genius to work that one out. Don't forget that the majority of alcoholics don't recovery and take it to the grave. I weren’t gonna bother posting in this thread. No disrespect to you and I sincerely mean that. I say that because the persons desire to quit has to be greater than there will to want to still drink/use. That only comes from beating yourself down to such a low level, be it physically or mentally/emotionally. I hope you don’t have to go there until you finally see what the score is. Like I said before you probably never will as most people don’t as most people aren’t alcoholics. But most people who are alcoholics denied it until it killed them. All I know is that I'm an alcoholic and that I'm glad I don't have any of this mental insanity left in my life since I surrendered to king alcohol who I had the sense to see was way more powerfull than I could ever be. All the Best |
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST
(Post 2479604)
The only people who can possibly understand an alcoholic is another alcoholic. For an alcoholic there can be NO such thing as moderation management or none of that bullsh*t. Total abstinence is the only way to arrest the beast. Much work is then required to maintain a decent mental wellbeing so that all the mental triggers/defects (or whatever term you want to use) can be addressed, managed and changed so that one does not feel the compulsion to use alcohol in their lives anymore. This is where AA and SR are vital. (Or any 'recovery' method that actually works if you ‘work it!.!) The appt word being ‘work’. It ain’t easy and can be incredibly raw and deeply difficult at times as we accept that we have to change our thinking/outlook/psyche to a great extent or else we will drink again No medical professor or psychologist or genius can possibly understand alcoholism. Only someone who has been there themselves and knows the score and has then found the solution knows the answer to solving this crippling condition that will kill you and take every ounce of self-respect and dignity you have with it. I choose to listen to fellow 'recovering' alcoholics who know the score. Some of these people who I respect and take wisdom were living homeless and drinking hand-sanitizer from hospitals to stop the shakes. They were once Like you are too... only for their alcoholism to progress until they lost everything. Of course you probably aren't an alcoholic so you will think what all us 'recovering alcoholics' are telling you is a load of b*llocks. So you can keep drinking and why wouldn't you? There is a reason that the majority of recovering 'alcoholics' and drug addicts think along similar lines about the nature of the beast of alcoholism and the solution required to actually maintain a serene and peaceful sobriety. We are only telling you our own experiences and what has worked for us. Alcoholism is progressive. It doesn’t take a genius to work that one out. Don't forget that the majority of alcoholics don't recovery and take it to the grave. I weren’t gonna bother posting in this thread. No disrespect to you and I sincerely mean that. I say that because the persons desire to quit has to be greater than there will to want to still drink/use. That only comes from beating yourself down to such a low level, be it physically or mentally/emotionally. I hope you don’t have to go there until you finally see what the score is. Like I said before you probably never will as most people don’t as most people aren’t alcoholics. But most people who are alcoholics denied it until it killed them. I couldn't care less what you are or what you ain't tbh. All I know is that I'm an alcoholic and that I'm glad I don't have any of this mental insanity left in my life since I surrendered to king alcohol who I had the sense to see was way more powerfull than I could ever be. All the Best just leave it with I disagree with a lot of your ascertions (esp that only alcoholics/addicts can understand alcoholism/addiction) Glad you found the particular path in life that suited you, all individuals are unique (INCLUDING alcoholics) |
Originally Posted by Hevyn
(Post 2479586)
Negative & frustrated? With a thread entitled, "advice-PLEASE" you sounded very concerned about your drinking & seemed to want input from those of us who have battled the beast and won. Most of us, bearing our battle scars, are very anxious to help and share our stories. When we see someone (seemingly) going down the same road we've just traveled we'd do most anything to help prevent that person from the hell & chaos we've been through. Tazman and I have an almost identical drinking past. I have to agree that his story is not an extreme one. In my case, everything was manageable for many years too. It took decades for alchohol to nearly destroy my body & break my spirit. In my 20's I was a weekend drinker with a glorious future. My drinking progressed - my tolerance for it was incredible. In my 50's I spent time incarcerated for my 2nd DUI. I, too, swore I'd never cross over that line we draw for ourselves. I never would have imagined the path my drinking would take me down. I would have laughed at anyone who told me I would one day drink at work, drink and drive, keep a drink by my bedside to stop the shakes during the night. None of these things may ever happen to you, but I once had your same attitude. Please be careful. I think my point is, alcoholic or not , we are NOT all the same and although they are commonalities we do not all have identical experiences. Its very fatalistic and frankly depressing to suggest we are. Anybody have any practical tips on cutting down or giving up without going down the AA route? remember I am not physically dependant so no detox issues to consider. Hey total alcohol consumption this week = 3 glasses wine SO this thread has helped me already :c011: |
Large or small glasses?. You came here for advice on cutting down or reducing which you say you havent had, but you have reduced. how did you do it? |
When I read the steps, I couldn't relate. When I took the steps, my life changed. "No one is to stupid for this program... many are too smart" "What I thought I knew ... was killing me" "The only label I needed was 'screwed'" |
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479619)
I think my point is, alcoholic or not , we are NOT all the same and although they are commonalities we do not all have identical experiences. Its very fatalistic and frankly depressing to suggest we are.
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479619)
Anybody have any practical tips on cutting down or giving up without going down the AA route? Something to consider, I didn't give up anything. AA enabled me to live life without giving up a d@mned thing. As a matter of fact, I have gained soooooo much! I resigned from the debating committee, stopped reading the steps, took the steps - and [poof] my behavior modified in spite of myself!
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479619)
Remember I am not physically dependant hmmmmm. . does that mean I am not alcoholic???
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479619)
Hey total alcohol consumption this week = 3 glasses wine SO this thread has helped me already Haven't had to fight to stay sober, nor exert will power to choose not to drink. I go to bars, nightclubs, parties! I go anywhere and everywhere. No need to fight, struggle, or even give it a second thought. I HAVE RECOVERED! Just as was promised!!!! THANK GOD FOR AA! |
I've been reading this thread with great interest. Daphne, you sound like you're on the Titanic analyzing the position of the deck chairs when you should be looking for the LIFEBOATS!!! |
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479619)
Hey total alcohol consumption this week = 3 glasses wine SO this thread has helped me already :c011: Some people go their entire lives without drinking. . and you want a medal?!? GO FRIGGIN' HELP SOMEONE!!! Eddie M |
I like your sponsor to basiam. Birthdays, cakes, candles, cards congratulations. As Dr Bob said Dont applaud the alcoholic. |
Originally Posted by jaitch
(Post 2479628)
Large or small glasses?. You came here for advice on cutting down or reducing which you say you havent had, but you have reduced. how did you do it? medium glasses and that is since MON!! whoop whoop Hey I never said I have had no advice please don't say that. Have said many times "thanks" for the advice opinions and views ALL helpful Take it the last few posts are sarcastic and you mean unless I am abstaining zero booze, then I have nothing to be happy about D xx |
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479685)
Hi again medium glasses and that is since MON!! whoop whoop Hey I never said I have had no advice please don't say that. Have said many times "thanks" for the advice opinions and views ALL helpful D xx |
Originally Posted by basIam
(Post 2479664)
Every alcoholic has one thing in common: the phenomenon of craving that comes with taking a few drinks. It may not come immediately, but the COMMON SYMPTOM is the utter inability to predict when control will be lost once the alcoholic begins drinking. Not I. Something to consider, I didn't give up anything. AA enabled me to live life without giving up a d@mned thing. As a matter of fact, I have gained soooooo much! I resigned from the debating committee, stopped reading the steps, took the steps - and [poof] my behavior modified in spite of myself! I was never physically dependent on alcohol. hmmmmm. . does that mean I am not alcoholic??? Hey total alcohol consumption in over 8 years = null, zip, nada!!! Haven't had to fight to stay sober, nor exert will power to choose not to drink. I go to bars, nightclubs, parties! I go anywhere and everywhere. No need to fight, struggle, or even give it a second thought. I HAVE RECOVERED! Just as was promised!!!! THANK GOD FOR AA! Its a good example of the evangelical nature of AA |
Originally Posted by jaitch
(Post 2479698)
Sorry I misquoted, but you do ask if anyone has any practical tips advice. You have reduced your intake, How did you do it, practically. partly because I spent so much time reading and posting on the forum ! Also the discussions have made me think twice before I crack open the wine so thanks again |
Originally Posted by WakeUp
(Post 2479669)
I've been reading this thread with great interest. Daphne, you sound like you're on the Titanic analyzing the position of the deck chairs when you should be looking for the LIFEBOATS!!! |
Good luck Daphne, your certainly an interesting case. Give regards to the rest of the Broons. |
Originally Posted by daphne
(Post 2479702)
Its a good example of the evangelical nature of AA Alcoholics worry that all the fun goes away when the alcohol does... when the opposite is true for the real alcoholic... I like to hear enthusiasm from recovered alcoholics. I went skiing this morning with a guy from my home group. I've gone hunting with him. I have gone bicycling and fishing with others in the program... and I always have a great time... I can do anything I want, except drink... and I never feel like I am missing a thing!! People in AA come in all shapes and sizes... I love them all. Mark |
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