Well today was a light day at work and I was particularly lazy today. Spent a good portion of my day planing a potential trip to Europe and my old friend AV seems to have used this trip as a "you'll be 9 months sober by then, you can drink". Same BS, just a different length of time away. No sense fretting over it, as I know the last 55 days has been better than my drunk days. Hopefully as time progresses, I'll continue to gain strength over it.

That av is awful and sneaky! I have had similar thoughts about travel. Glad you are not allowing it in! Today has been good. Deciding weather or not I should commit to a few things for others' benefit. Would be harder on me but still some benefit. I have a very hard time saying no.

Having to swap antidepressants because ones not covered by insurance. Really scared of feeling like crap. Fought so hard to get sober !

Day 57 !

JL- I switched from Lexapro(SSRI) to Pristiq(SSNRI) and had absolutely no noticeable withdrawals, "zaps", or side effects. Lexapro was the wrong drug for me, though. While I wasn't depressed, I was absolutely numb and apathetic. Also, when I did have a few relapses on lexapro, it pushed me to lows I had never been to depression wise and made me imbalanced emotionally like a crazy person.

So, I hope the switch isn't dramatic for you. Also, it seems with anti-depressants, Lexapro works wonders for some, and not for others, so don't be put off if that's what you're switching too.

Day 57.

Had a pretty relaxed, but productive day at work. Then had a nice meal with an old friend, his fiance, and their child. He's a good friend, so I told him everything. While telling him the story, it made me realize how easy it is to talk about my sobriety in a place like SR, but how different it talking to even good friends about it.

It's hard and slightly embarrassing explaining it only 8 weeks removed. I know with time, it will get easier, especially with increased days behind me and more confidence in myself and this new life, but boy was last night an example of awkward growing pains. Once that story was over though, they were nothing but supportive. We had a nice meal, talked about old times, current events, joked, etc. Happy to be here another day sober.

Stay. Strong.

Hey guys, I wrote an affirmation song while I was in Somerset, I'm finding it really helpful to sing it in my head. I don't have any instruments here so I can't play it properly, but I have a recording of me singing it that I would love to upload if anyone can show me how? Failing that, I could just post the lyrics :)

It's also interesting, Noolan and JL, to hear people talking about their medications. I wonder how many people here have some kind of mental illness? I actually found a support group that I'm going to go to when I get back home that deals specifically with people who suffer from both substance abuse and mental illness

I figured out how to upload and link to an mp3! It's a very rough recording, as I have no access to my piano and was largely improvising the melody, but I thought it might help some of you to have something to sing to yourself in the dark hours. I know it's been helping me :)

http://www.directlinkupload.com/uploads/86.175.194.179/Voice_083[1].mp3

Lyrics:

Know no struggle
Know no pain
Chase the sunshine
Through the rain
When the darkness
Holds your head
Know that dawn lies
Where you're lead

In the morning, life is tired
Muscles straining, to feel wired
It's so easy, to lose sight
Of the ending, to your plight

But remember who you are
Through the mud, and, through the tar
Raise your voice so it can fly
Make your song your endless high

[chorus]

When you're fading, like the day
Let your strong mind, lead the way
You will find soon, no need to fight
A calm morning follows the night

When that morning does arrive
You will once more feel alive
All the long nights and the fear
Will be worth it when it's here

[chorus]

Oops I've just realised I've been posting in the wrong thread! I was after the July bunch. Oh well :/ I wish all of you June-ers the best in your recovery!

Well I'm not sleeping too well, so I'm posting. Glad to be off a few days in case swapping meds reacts. Awake and sober at 10:30 on a Saturday night. Imagine that !

Hey Guys,
It's been a while, but I've been going though a lot of life's obstacles. To add to it, I have drank on 3 separate occasions. The first time I accepted it as a slip.... Now I am seeing myself start to gain momentum... I drank both Friday and yesterday.. This is the pattern that typically happens until I end in a horrible blackout. Luckily I'm stopping it now. I went so long feeling like I was in control. This is something that I want desperately. I understand that mistakes will happen and I'm trying to move forward.

Ejm you can do it. It took me 8 months ....... 8 MONTHS to get finally stopped. If you want it you can do it! Hang in there !

It's hard even to admit this, but my AV almost just had me. Today I went to lunch with the family and then took a family photo with all my cousins. The photo was kind of stressing me out as we had to take a million different poses and angles and by the end I was ready to run to the nearest bar and drink.

Well I had made plans to meet a friend downtown for dinner and discuss our plans to go to Europe next spring. Ever since we started talking about my AV has been loud as hell and casting doubt I could live and enjoy such a trip without it.

So we started off at a European type place for a meat and cheese tray. All around us, I saw pretty girls and old men sitting outside, drinking wine, and enjoying the day. It all got to me; I WANTED that. The amount of time I've been sober, the necklace I wear with my sobriety date, the disappointment I'd get from everyone in my life didn't matter. All I wanted was to have one drink, just one...

Long story short, my friend luckily was strong and said he wasn't going to let me do that. He quickly realized I wasn't kidding and nixed every plan I wanted that might lead to my "one drink". We got some cigars, walked around, and after about 30 mins, I was back to me. I felt immediate shame that I was even considering it and pushing for it.

The night ended with a fantastic meal and then a sober ride home. So happy to typing this and on to day 59 tomorrow. This is a wake up call that my addiction is not as weak I thought. The second I let my guard down, it's ready to pounce. Stay strong guys.

Hi guys! I am doing well. I had a good weekend with a few challenges but stayed strong. Went to a meeting tonight and that was great. 69 days and counting....

Checking in, Day 2

Day 60. I have proof of God. There is absolutely no way in blue blazes that I could have done this by self. Not a prayer. No way. I'm thankful and thankful has carried me through. 43 yrs old. 60 days. For my birthday I gave myself 33 days. Best birthday I ever had I think!!

congrats again JL :)

D

Congrats JL! I too am 60 days sober today.

Congratulations to you too Noolan :)

D

Way to go JL and Noolan!!!